WEBVTT 00:30.239 --> 00:36.203 See them tumbling down 00:36.286 --> 00:40.415 Pledging their love to the ground 00:40.499 --> 00:43.126 Way out West there was this fella. 00:43.210 --> 00:45.546 Fella I wanna tell you about. 00:45.629 --> 00:49.091 Fella by the name of Jeff Lebowski. 00:49.174 --> 00:52.803 Least that was the handle that his loving parents gave him. 00:52.886 --> 00:55.931 But he never had much use for it himself. 00:56.014 --> 01:00.060 This Lebowski, he called himself the Dude. 01:00.143 --> 01:02.229 Now Dude, 01:02.312 --> 01:05.983 that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. 01:06.066 --> 01:11.446 But then there was a lot about the Dude that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, 01:11.530 --> 01:14.199 and a lot about where he lived likewise. 01:14.283 --> 01:16.451 Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds 01:16.535 --> 01:18.120 But then again, 01:18.203 --> 01:21.290 maybe that's why I found the place so darned interesting. 01:21.373 --> 01:23.333 I know when night has gone 01:23.417 --> 01:26.295 That a new world's born at dawn 01:26.378 --> 01:30.424 They call Los Angeles the City of Angels. 01:30.507 --> 01:33.552 I didn't find it to be that, exactly. 01:33.635 --> 01:37.347 But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. 01:37.431 --> 01:40.100 Course, I can't say I seen London, 01:40.183 --> 01:42.436 and I never been to France, 01:42.519 --> 01:47.566 and I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, as the fella says. 01:47.649 --> 01:49.568 But I'll tell you what, 01:49.651 --> 01:54.948 after seeing Los Angeles and this here story I'm about to unfold, 01:55.032 --> 01:57.868 well, I guess I've seen something 01:57.951 --> 02:02.122 every bit as stupefying as you can see in any of those other places, 02:02.205 --> 02:04.374 and in English, too. 02:04.458 --> 02:07.377 So I can die with a smile on my face 02:07.461 --> 02:10.255 without feeling like the good Lord gypped me. 02:11.256 --> 02:13.300 Now, this here story I'm about to unfold 02:13.383 --> 02:16.386 took place back in the early '90s, 02:16.470 --> 02:21.308 just about the time of our conflict with Saddam and the Iraqis. 02:21.391 --> 02:24.978 I only mention it 'cause sometimes there's a man... 02:25.062 --> 02:27.105 I won't say a hero. 02:27.189 --> 02:29.232 'Cause what's a hero? 02:29.316 --> 02:31.652 But sometimes there's a man... 02:31.735 --> 02:34.738 And I'm talking about the Dude here. 02:34.821 --> 02:37.491 Sometimes there's a man... 02:37.574 --> 02:42.162 Well, he's the man for his time and place. 02:42.245 --> 02:44.998 He fits right in there. 02:45.082 --> 02:48.460 And that's the Dude in Los Angeles. 02:49.586 --> 02:52.172 And even if he is a lazy man, 02:52.255 --> 02:54.883 and the Dude was most certainly that, 02:54.966 --> 02:58.720 quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles county, 02:58.804 --> 03:02.683 which would place him high in the running for laziest worldwide. 03:03.934 --> 03:06.728 But sometimes there's a man... 03:06.812 --> 03:09.606 Sometimes there's a man... 03:11.066 --> 03:14.486 Well, I lost my train of thought here. 03:14.569 --> 03:15.821 But... 03:16.571 --> 03:19.157 Hell, I done introduced him enough. 03:19.241 --> 03:21.576 ...with them all for a collective action. 03:21.660 --> 03:23.370 This will not stand. 03:23.453 --> 03:26.957 This will not stand, this aggression against Kuwait. 03:27.541 --> 03:33.338 Here on the range I belong 03:33.422 --> 03:35.674 Drifting along 03:35.757 --> 03:38.885 With the tumbling 03:38.969 --> 03:44.391 Tumbleweeds 03:57.654 --> 03:59.948 Where's the money, Lebowski? 04:00.031 --> 04:02.242 I want that money, Lebowski. 04:02.325 --> 04:04.786 Bunny says you're good for it. 04:04.870 --> 04:07.581 Where's the money, Lebowski? 04:07.664 --> 04:10.041 Where's the money, Lebowski? 04:10.125 --> 04:12.669 Where's the fucking money, shithead? 04:15.297 --> 04:17.883 It's down there somewhere. Let me take another look. 04:18.300 --> 04:20.552 Don't fuck with us. 04:22.512 --> 04:24.806 Your wife owes money to Jackie Treehorn, 04:24.890 --> 04:27.768 that means you owe money to Jackie Treehorn. 04:27.851 --> 04:30.061 Ever thus to deadbeats, Lebowski. 04:31.229 --> 04:32.731 No, don't do... 04:34.524 --> 04:37.152 - Not on the rug, man. - See? 04:37.235 --> 04:40.572 See what happens, Lebowski? You see what happens? 04:40.655 --> 04:43.617 Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. 04:43.700 --> 04:45.452 I'm the Dude, man. 04:45.535 --> 04:48.288 Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. 04:48.371 --> 04:50.165 Your wife is Bunny. 04:51.500 --> 04:53.418 My wife? Bunny? 04:53.502 --> 04:55.462 Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? 04:55.545 --> 04:57.839 Does this place look like I'm fucking married? 04:57.923 --> 05:00.091 The toilet seat's up, man! 05:08.391 --> 05:10.018 What the fuck is this? 05:10.101 --> 05:12.312 Obviously you're not a golfer. 05:15.232 --> 05:17.025 Woo? Yeah. 05:17.108 --> 05:19.778 Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire? 05:21.238 --> 05:22.364 Fuck. 05:23.782 --> 05:25.575 Yeah. What do you think? 05:25.659 --> 05:27.953 He looks like a fucking loser. 05:28.036 --> 05:30.789 Hey, at least I'm housebroken. 05:30.872 --> 05:32.582 Fucking time-waster. 05:32.666 --> 05:34.543 Thanks a lot, asshole. 05:41.383 --> 05:44.427 La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la 05:44.928 --> 05:47.848 La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia 05:47.931 --> 05:51.309 La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia-Ia Ia-Ia 05:51.726 --> 05:53.478 La, Ia, Ia-Ia 05:55.522 --> 05:57.399 La-Ia-Ia 05:58.608 --> 06:00.652 La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia 06:00.735 --> 06:02.112 La-Ia, Ia-Ia 06:04.948 --> 06:07.158 The man in me will do 06:08.285 --> 06:10.537 Nearly any task 06:11.663 --> 06:14.875 And as for compensation 06:14.958 --> 06:17.460 There's little he would ask 06:18.253 --> 06:20.839 Take a woman like you 06:21.548 --> 06:23.133 To get through 06:23.550 --> 06:25.719 To the man in me 06:28.889 --> 06:32.350 Storm clouds are raging 06:32.434 --> 06:35.353 All around my door 06:36.146 --> 06:37.898 I think to myself 06:37.981 --> 06:41.484 I might not take it anymore 06:42.235 --> 06:45.196 Take a woman like your kind 06:45.655 --> 06:49.492 To find the man in me 06:52.329 --> 06:54.915 But, oh 06:54.998 --> 06:57.459 What a wonderful feeling 06:59.878 --> 07:03.673 Just to know that you are near 07:06.509 --> 07:10.472 Sets my heart a-reeling 07:12.015 --> 07:14.976 From my toes 07:15.268 --> 07:19.272 Up to my ears 07:19.356 --> 07:22.567 The man in me will hide sometimes 07:22.651 --> 07:25.278 To keep from being seen 07:25.946 --> 07:29.240 But that's just because he doesn't want 07:29.324 --> 07:32.243 To turn into some machine 07:32.327 --> 07:34.746 Take a woman like you 07:35.497 --> 07:37.332 To get through 07:37.415 --> 07:39.292 To the man in me 07:43.880 --> 07:46.758 I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude. 07:46.841 --> 07:51.346 I'm telling you, this was a valued rug. This was a... 07:51.429 --> 07:53.974 Yeah, man. It really tied the room together. 07:54.057 --> 07:55.684 This was a valued... 07:55.725 --> 07:57.519 What tied the room together, Dude? My rug. 07:57.602 --> 07:59.104 Were you listening to the Dude's story, Donny? 07:59.187 --> 08:00.271 What? Walter. 08:00.355 --> 08:03.066 Were you listening to the Dude's story? I was bowling. 08:03.149 --> 08:05.402 So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. 08:05.485 --> 08:08.279 You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know... 08:08.405 --> 08:11.825 Walter, what's the point, man? There's no reason, here's my point, Dude. 08:11.908 --> 08:13.535 There's no fucking reason why these two... 08:13.618 --> 08:14.786 Yeah, Walter, what's your point? 08:14.869 --> 08:16.871 Walter, what is the... 08:16.955 --> 08:19.374 Look, we all know who is at fault here. 08:19.457 --> 08:21.668 What the fuck are you talking about? Huh? 08:21.751 --> 08:24.462 No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... 08:25.088 --> 08:27.340 We're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude. 08:27.465 --> 08:29.092 What the fuck is he talking about? My rug. 08:29.175 --> 08:30.969 Forget it, Donny! You're out of your element! 08:31.052 --> 08:33.638 Walter, the Chinaman who peed on my rug, 08:33.722 --> 08:35.557 I can't go give him a bill! 08:35.640 --> 08:37.308 So what the fuck are you talking about? 08:37.392 --> 08:38.518 What the fuck are you talking about? 08:38.601 --> 08:40.729 The Chinaman is not the issue here, Dude! 08:40.812 --> 08:43.398 I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. 08:43.481 --> 08:45.900 Across this line you do not... 08:45.984 --> 08:50.071 Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. 08:50.155 --> 08:51.781 Asian-American, please. 08:51.865 --> 08:55.285 Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy... 08:55.368 --> 08:56.995 What the fuck are you... 08:57.120 --> 09:00.123 Walter, he peed on my rug! He peed on the Dude's rug. 09:00.206 --> 09:01.750 Donny, you're out of your element. 09:01.833 --> 09:05.128 Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here. 09:05.211 --> 09:07.630 So, who... Jeff Lebowski. 09:07.714 --> 09:10.842 The other Jeffrey Lebowski. The millionaire. 09:10.925 --> 09:13.678 That's fucking interesting, man. That's fucking interesting. 09:13.762 --> 09:17.724 Plus, he has the wealth, obviously, and the resources, 09:17.807 --> 09:20.351 so that there's no reason, there's no fucking reason 09:20.435 --> 09:23.146 why his wife should go out and owe money all over town, 09:23.229 --> 09:25.690 and then they come and they pee on your fucking rug! 09:25.774 --> 09:27.025 Am I wrong? No. 09:27.108 --> 09:28.651 Am I wrong? Yeah, but... 09:28.735 --> 09:29.778 Okay then. 09:31.613 --> 09:34.616 That rug really tied the room together, did it not? 09:34.699 --> 09:36.618 Fucking A. And this guy peed on it. 09:36.701 --> 09:38.036 Donny, please. 09:38.119 --> 09:39.287 You know, this is the fucking guy... 09:39.370 --> 09:41.664 I could find this fucking Lebowski guy. 09:41.748 --> 09:44.084 His name is Lebowski? That's your name, Dude. 09:44.167 --> 09:48.463 This is the guy who should compensate me for the fucking rug. 09:48.546 --> 09:52.175 His wife goes out and owes money all over town, and they pee on my rug? 09:52.258 --> 09:54.302 They pee on your fucking rug? 09:54.385 --> 09:57.097 Peed on my fucking rug. That's right, Dude. 09:58.515 --> 10:00.850 They peed on your fucking rug. 10:02.477 --> 10:04.145 This is the study. 10:04.229 --> 10:06.815 As you can see, the various commendations, awards... 10:06.940 --> 10:10.819 "Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations, honorary degrees, et cetera. 10:10.902 --> 10:14.572 Very impressive. Oh, please feel free to inspect them. 10:14.656 --> 10:17.283 Oh. No, I'm not really... Oh, please. Please. 10:17.367 --> 10:19.285 That is the key to the city of Pasadena, 10:19.369 --> 10:24.749 which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago in recognition of his various civic... 10:24.833 --> 10:29.504 Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Business Achiever Award, 10:29.587 --> 10:31.756 which is given... Oh, not necessarily given every year. 10:31.840 --> 10:32.924 Hey, is this... 10:33.049 --> 10:34.259 Given only when there's a worthy somebody... 10:34.342 --> 10:35.635 ls this him with Nancy? 10:35.718 --> 10:38.972 Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski with the first lady, yes. 10:39.055 --> 10:40.265 It was taken when Mrs. Reagan... 10:40.348 --> 10:42.976 That's Lebowski on the left there? 10:43.059 --> 10:45.812 Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left... So he's a... 10:45.895 --> 10:48.481 You know, a handicapped kind of guy? 10:48.565 --> 10:50.733 Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes. 10:51.401 --> 10:54.571 This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan was first lady of the nation. 10:54.654 --> 10:55.738 Yes, yes. 10:55.822 --> 10:57.782 Not of California. Good shot. 10:57.866 --> 11:00.076 In fact, he met privately with the President, 11:00.160 --> 11:02.912 though, unfortunately, there wasn't enough time for a photo opportunity. 11:02.996 --> 11:04.956 Oh, Nancy's pretty good. Oh, wonderful woman. 11:05.039 --> 11:07.333 We were very happy to... These are... 11:07.417 --> 11:10.086 Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's children, so to speak. 11:10.170 --> 11:11.421 Different mothers, huh? 11:11.546 --> 11:13.840 No, they're not... Racially, he's pretty cool? 11:15.592 --> 11:17.385 They're not literally his children. 11:17.468 --> 11:19.721 They're the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, 11:19.804 --> 11:22.849 inner city children of promise, but without the necessary means for... 11:22.932 --> 11:24.934 Necessary means for a higher education, 11:25.018 --> 11:28.438 so Mr. Lebowski is committed to sending all of them to college. 11:28.521 --> 11:29.856 Excuse me. Oh, geez. 11:29.939 --> 11:31.691 Thank you. Thank you. 11:31.816 --> 11:36.279 Far out. Think he's got room for one more? One... Oh. 11:37.947 --> 11:39.157 You never went to college. 11:39.282 --> 11:41.326 Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did, 11:41.409 --> 11:43.703 but, you know, I spent most of my time 11:43.786 --> 11:46.915 occupying various administration buildings, 11:46.998 --> 11:48.708 smoking a lot of Thai stick, 11:48.875 --> 11:52.045 breaking into the ROTC and bowling. 11:52.128 --> 11:54.380 Tell you the truth, Brandt, I don't remember most of it. 12:00.178 --> 12:03.348 Okay, sir. You're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski. 12:03.431 --> 12:05.183 That's terrific. 12:05.266 --> 12:08.144 But I am very busy, as I imagine you are. 12:09.395 --> 12:10.897 What can I do for you, sir? 12:10.980 --> 12:14.525 Well, sir, it's this rug I have. 12:14.609 --> 12:16.611 It really tied the room together. 12:16.694 --> 12:19.405 You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. 12:19.489 --> 12:20.990 Where do I fit in? 12:21.658 --> 12:24.911 Well, they were looking for you, these two guys. 12:24.994 --> 12:26.955 You know, they... I'll say it again. 12:27.038 --> 12:30.166 You told Brandt on the phone. He told me. 12:30.250 --> 12:32.293 I know what happened. Yes, yes. 12:32.377 --> 12:35.588 Oh, so you know that they were trying to piss on your rug. 12:35.672 --> 12:37.882 Did I urinate on your rug? 12:37.966 --> 12:40.218 You mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug? 12:40.301 --> 12:42.262 Hello! Do you speak English, sir? 12:42.345 --> 12:44.222 G, Parla usted inglés? 12:44.305 --> 12:47.183 I'll ask you again. Did I urinate on your rug? 12:48.017 --> 12:50.603 No. Like I said, Woo peed on my rug. 12:50.687 --> 12:52.355 I just want to understand this, sir. 12:52.438 --> 12:56.359 Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, 12:56.442 --> 12:58.194 I have to compensate the person? 12:58.278 --> 13:01.489 Come on, man. I'm not trying to scam anybody here. 13:01.572 --> 13:03.408 You know, I'm just... 13:03.491 --> 13:07.036 You're just looking for a handout like every other... 13:08.371 --> 13:10.665 Are you employed, Mr. Lebowski? 13:11.165 --> 13:14.085 Wait. Let me explain something to you. 13:14.168 --> 13:16.004 I am not Mr. Lebowski. 13:16.087 --> 13:19.048 You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. 13:19.132 --> 13:21.634 So that's what you call me. You know? 13:21.718 --> 13:23.803 That or His Dudeness, 13:23.886 --> 13:26.347 or Duder or, you know, 13:26.431 --> 13:29.475 El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing. 13:29.559 --> 13:31.561 Are you employed, sir? 13:32.937 --> 13:34.230 Employed? 13:35.398 --> 13:40.153 You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that, do you? On a weekday? 13:40.236 --> 13:41.612 Is this a... 13:41.696 --> 13:44.824 What day is this? Well, I do work, sir. 13:44.907 --> 13:49.078 So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind. The Dude minds. 13:49.162 --> 13:50.913 This will not stand, you know. 13:50.997 --> 13:53.499 This aggression will not stand, man. 13:53.583 --> 13:55.335 I mean, your wife owes money... 13:55.418 --> 13:58.379 My wife is not the issue here! 13:58.463 --> 14:01.841 I hope that someday my wife will learn to live on her allowance, 14:01.924 --> 14:03.343 which is ample. 14:03.426 --> 14:06.262 But if she does not, that is her problem, not mine, 14:06.346 --> 14:07.972 just as the rug is your problem. 14:08.056 --> 14:12.018 Just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility, 14:12.101 --> 14:14.812 regardless of who he chooses to blame. 14:14.896 --> 14:17.982 I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. 14:18.066 --> 14:20.526 Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea. 14:20.610 --> 14:23.029 But I went out and achieved anyway. 14:24.322 --> 14:27.492 I cannot solve your problems, sir. Only you can. 14:29.619 --> 14:32.038 Well, fuck it. Oh, fuck it. 14:32.121 --> 14:35.208 Yes, that's your answer. That's your answer to everything. 14:35.291 --> 14:37.043 Tattoo it on your forehead! 14:37.126 --> 14:39.587 Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski! 14:39.670 --> 14:42.924 Condolences! The bums lost! 14:43.007 --> 14:46.219 My advice to you is to do what your parents did! 14:46.302 --> 14:48.096 Get a job, sir! 14:48.179 --> 14:50.723 The bums will always lose! 14:50.807 --> 14:52.558 Do you hear me, Lebowski? 14:52.642 --> 14:55.061 The bums will always lose. 14:56.312 --> 14:58.606 How was your meeting, Mr. Lebowski? 14:58.689 --> 15:00.191 Okay» 15:00.274 --> 15:02.777 The old man told me to take any rug in the house. 15:03.569 --> 15:05.113 Well, enjoy. 15:05.196 --> 15:07.740 And perhaps we'll see you again sometime, Dude. 15:07.824 --> 15:08.950 Yeah, sure. 15:09.033 --> 15:11.911 If I'm in the neighborhood, you know, 15:13.413 --> 15:15.581 and I need to use the john. 15:26.217 --> 15:28.386 Blow on them. Huh? 15:28.845 --> 15:30.721 Go ahead. Blow. 15:32.473 --> 15:35.852 You want me to blow on your toes? 15:36.352 --> 15:37.520 Uh-huh. 15:38.104 --> 15:40.022 I can't blow that far. 15:46.237 --> 15:48.281 Are you sure he won't mind? 15:48.364 --> 15:51.451 Uli doesn't care about anything. He's a nihilist. 15:51.534 --> 15:53.786 Oh, that must be exhausting. 15:53.870 --> 15:55.621 You're not blowing. 15:55.705 --> 15:58.458 Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs. Lebowski. 15:58.541 --> 15:59.959 Oh! 16:00.460 --> 16:01.919 You're Bunny. 16:03.212 --> 16:05.381 I'll suck your cock for $1,000. 16:10.094 --> 16:11.721 Wonderful woman. 16:11.804 --> 16:13.931 We're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. 16:14.015 --> 16:16.726 Brandt can't watch though, or he has to pay $100. 16:18.227 --> 16:19.896 That's marvelous. 16:22.231 --> 16:24.901 I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. 16:29.530 --> 16:31.574 I'm slamming them tonight! 16:32.200 --> 16:33.951 You guys are dead in the water. 16:34.035 --> 16:36.996 All right! Way to go, Donny! 16:38.039 --> 16:40.416 "lf you will it, it is no dream." 16:40.500 --> 16:43.920 Fucking 20 minutes late, man. What the fuck is that? 16:44.003 --> 16:46.005 Theodore Herzl. Huh? 16:46.088 --> 16:49.175 State of Israel. If you will it, Dude, it is no dream. 16:49.258 --> 16:51.135 What the fuck are you talking about, man? 16:51.260 --> 16:54.096 The carrier. What's in the fucking carrier? Huh? 16:54.222 --> 16:57.141 Oh! Cynthia's dog. Think it's a Pomeranian. 16:57.225 --> 16:59.227 Can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture. 16:59.310 --> 17:02.063 I'm watching it while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii. 17:02.146 --> 17:04.065 You brought a fucking Pomeranian bowling? 17:04.148 --> 17:05.691 What do you mean, brought it bowling? 17:05.775 --> 17:08.778 I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. 17:08.861 --> 17:10.947 He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude. 17:11.030 --> 17:14.367 Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked me to take care of her fucking dog 17:14.450 --> 17:16.202 while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu, 17:16.285 --> 17:18.871 I'd tell her to go fuck herself. Why can't she board it? 17:18.955 --> 17:20.790 First of all, Dude, you don't have an ex. 17:20.873 --> 17:24.043 Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers. 17:24.126 --> 17:26.837 You can't board it. It gets upset. Its hair falls out. 17:26.963 --> 17:29.257 Walter... Fucking dog has fucking papers. 17:29.340 --> 17:32.009 Over the line! Huh? 17:32.093 --> 17:34.428 I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line. That's a foul. 17:34.512 --> 17:36.180 Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude. 17:36.264 --> 17:39.392 Excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame. 17:39.475 --> 17:42.395 Bullshit, Walter. Mark it eight, Dude. 17:42.478 --> 17:45.064 Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. 17:45.147 --> 17:47.900 Hey, Walter, come on. Hey, man, it's Smokey. 17:47.984 --> 17:50.152 So his toe slipped over a little, you know. 17:50.236 --> 17:52.405 It's just a game, man. This is a league game. 17:52.488 --> 17:54.407 This determines who enters the next round robin. 17:54.490 --> 17:56.242 - Am I wrong? - Yeah, but I wasn't... 17:56.325 --> 17:58.869 Am I wrong? Yeah, but I wasn't over. 17:58.953 --> 18:01.664 Give me the marker, Dude. I'm marking an eight. 18:01.747 --> 18:03.499 Smokey, my friend, 18:04.333 --> 18:07.295 you're entering a world of pain. Walter, man. 18:07.378 --> 18:11.090 You mark that frame an eight, you're entering a world of pain. 18:11.173 --> 18:13.759 I'm not... A world of pain. 18:13.843 --> 18:15.928 Look,Dude, this is your partner. 18:16.012 --> 18:18.389 Has the whole world gone crazy? 18:18.472 --> 18:21.225 Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? 18:21.350 --> 18:22.560 Mark it zero! 18:22.643 --> 18:24.729 They're calling the cops, man. Put the piece away. 18:24.854 --> 18:27.898 Mark it zero! DUDE: Walter, put the piece away. 18:27.982 --> 18:30.192 Walter. You think I'm fucking around here? 18:30.276 --> 18:31.902 Mark it zero! 18:38.701 --> 18:40.953 All right. It's fucking zero. 18:41.037 --> 18:43.122 You happy, you crazy fuck? 18:45.499 --> 18:47.501 It's a league game, Smokey. 18:49.211 --> 18:50.880 You can't do that, man. 18:50.963 --> 18:53.674 These guys, you know, they're like me, they're pacifists. 18:53.758 --> 18:56.344 Smokey was a conscientious objector. 18:56.427 --> 18:59.263 You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one point. 18:59.347 --> 19:00.640 Not in Nam, of course. 19:00.723 --> 19:04.185 And you know he's got emotional problems, man. 19:04.268 --> 19:06.687 You mean, beyond pacifism? 19:06.771 --> 19:09.482 He's fragile. He's very fragile. 19:12.234 --> 19:14.070 I did not know that. 19:14.153 --> 19:17.031 Well, it's all water under the bridge. 19:17.114 --> 19:20.117 And we do enter the next round robin. 19:20.201 --> 19:22.495 Am I wrong? No, you're not wrong. 19:22.578 --> 19:24.330 Am I wrong? You're not wrong, Walter. 19:24.413 --> 19:25.790 You're just an asshole. 19:25.915 --> 19:27.333 Okay then. 19:27.416 --> 19:29.043 Play Quintana and O'Brien next week. 19:29.126 --> 19:31.045 They should be pushovers. 19:32.588 --> 19:34.674 Man, would you just... 19:34.757 --> 19:36.509 Just take it easy, man. 19:36.592 --> 19:38.886 You know, that's your answer for everything, Dude. 19:38.969 --> 19:41.847 Let me point out something. Pacifism is not... 19:41.931 --> 19:44.767 Look at our current situation with that camel fucker in Iraq. 19:44.850 --> 19:46.811 Pacifism is not something to hide behind. 19:46.894 --> 19:49.271 Just take it easy, man. 19:50.398 --> 19:51.732 I'm perfectly calm, Dude. 19:51.816 --> 19:55.277 Yeah, waving the fucking gun around? Calmer than you are. 19:55.361 --> 19:57.279 Will you just take it easy? 19:58.114 --> 19:59.907 Calmer than you are. 20:04.245 --> 20:05.871 Dude, this is Smokey. 20:05.955 --> 20:07.873 Look, I don't wanna be a hard-on about this, 20:07.957 --> 20:09.208 and I know it wasn't your fault, 20:09.291 --> 20:10.876 but I just thought it was fair to tell you 20:10.960 --> 20:13.170 that Gilbert and I will be submitting this to the league 20:13.254 --> 20:15.464 and asking them to set aside the round. 20:15.548 --> 20:18.217 I don't know, maybe forfeit it to us. 20:18.300 --> 20:21.554 So, like I say, just thought, you know, fair warning. 20:21.637 --> 20:23.097 Tell Walter. 20:23.180 --> 20:24.432 I'm sorry. 20:26.308 --> 20:28.644 Mr. Lebowski, this is Brandt at... 20:30.312 --> 20:32.189 Well, at Mr. Leb0wski's office. 20:32.273 --> 20:34.775 Please call us as soon as it's convenient. 20:36.527 --> 20:38.571 Mr. Lebowski, this is Mel Zelnicker 20:38.654 --> 20:40.114 of the Southern Cal Bowling League. 20:40.197 --> 20:45.453 I just got an informal report that a member of your team, a Walter Sobchak, 20:45.536 --> 20:47.788 drew a firearm during league play. 20:47.913 --> 20:49.457 If this is true, of course, 20:49.540 --> 20:51.250 it contravenes a number of the league's bylaws 20:51.333 --> 20:53.043 and also article 27 of the league... 20:54.503 --> 20:56.797 Dude. Hey, Marty. 20:56.881 --> 20:58.632 Dude, I finally got... 20:58.716 --> 21:01.010 I got the venue I wanted. 21:01.552 --> 21:05.014 I'm performing my dance quintet, you know, my cycle, 21:05.097 --> 21:07.850 at Crane Jackson's Fountain Street Theater on Tuesday night. 21:07.933 --> 21:12.188 And, well, I'd love it if you came and gave me notes. 21:13.022 --> 21:14.732 I'll be there, man. 21:17.026 --> 21:19.904 Dude, tomorrow's already the tenth. 21:21.280 --> 21:22.531 Far out. 21:25.159 --> 21:27.328 Oh. Oh, all right. Okay. 21:27.411 --> 21:30.206 Just slip the rent under my door. 21:33.125 --> 21:36.420 ...serious infraction and examine your standing. 21:36.504 --> 21:38.005 Thank you. 21:39.590 --> 21:42.218 Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again. 21:42.301 --> 21:45.721 Please do call us as soon as you get in and I'll send the limo. 21:45.805 --> 21:49.391 I hope you're not avoiding this call because of the rug, 21:49.475 --> 21:52.144 which I assure you is not a problem. 21:52.228 --> 21:54.855 We need your help, and... 21:54.939 --> 21:58.901 Well, we would very much like to see you. Thank you. It's Brandt. 22:00.236 --> 22:01.695 We've had some terrible news. 22:01.779 --> 22:03.989 Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion in the west wing. 22:08.452 --> 22:09.954 Mr. Lebowski. 22:17.044 --> 22:18.212 Funny. 22:19.421 --> 22:23.217 I can look back on a life of achievement, 22:23.300 --> 22:25.511 challenges met, 22:25.594 --> 22:27.638 competitors bested, 22:27.721 --> 22:29.431 obstacles overcome. 22:31.016 --> 22:34.395 I've accomplished more than most men 22:34.478 --> 22:36.772 and without the use of my legs. 22:41.443 --> 22:44.238 What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? 22:45.531 --> 22:46.949 Dude. Huh? 22:48.993 --> 22:51.662 Oh, I don't know, sir. 22:51.745 --> 22:54.623 Is it being prepared to do the right thing, 22:56.750 --> 22:58.419 whatever the cost? 22:59.253 --> 23:01.380 Isn't that what makes a man? 23:02.506 --> 23:05.009 Sure, that and a pair of testicles. 23:05.593 --> 23:07.386 You're joking, 23:09.638 --> 23:11.265 but perhaps you're right. 23:11.348 --> 23:13.267 You mind if I do a Jay? 23:15.185 --> 23:16.353 Bunny. 23:18.439 --> 23:19.773 Excuse me? 23:20.107 --> 23:21.650 Bunny Lebowski. 23:22.776 --> 23:24.904 She is the light of my life. 23:26.488 --> 23:28.991 Are you surprised at my tears, sir? 23:30.910 --> 23:32.786 Oh, fucking A. 23:32.870 --> 23:35.372 Strong men also cry. 23:37.041 --> 23:40.002 Strong men also cry. 23:43.047 --> 23:45.507 I received this fax this morning. 23:48.469 --> 23:52.097 As you can see, it is a ransom note. 23:53.057 --> 23:55.100 "We have Bunny." 23:55.184 --> 23:59.438 Written by men who were unable to achieve on a level field of play. 23:59.521 --> 24:02.149 "Gather $1 million..." 24:02.274 --> 24:05.653 Cowards! - - In unmarked, nonconsecutive 20s-" 24:05.736 --> 24:08.447 VVeakHngs! "A wait instructions." 24:08.572 --> 24:10.324 Bums! "No funny stuff." 24:11.408 --> 24:13.577 Bummer. Huh? 24:14.828 --> 24:18.540 This is a bummer, man. That's... That's a bummer. 24:19.333 --> 24:22.044 Brandt will fill you in on the details. 24:36.600 --> 24:41.355 Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier 24:41.438 --> 24:43.983 once we get instructions for the money. 24:44.066 --> 24:45.234 Why me, man? 24:45.317 --> 24:50.823 He believes the culprits might be the very people who soiled your rug 24:50.906 --> 24:55.828 and you are in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion. 24:55.911 --> 24:57.663 He thinks the carpet pissers did this? 24:57.746 --> 24:59.665 Well, Dude, we just don't know. 26:30.839 --> 26:34.009 Welcome to the Hotel California 26:34.885 --> 26:36.804 Such a lovely place 26:36.887 --> 26:38.764 Fucking Quintana. 26:39.723 --> 26:42.059 That creep can roll, man. 26:42.184 --> 26:45.187 Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. Yeah. 26:46.146 --> 26:49.066 No, he's a sex offender with a record. 26:49.149 --> 26:52.111 He did six months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old. 26:53.612 --> 26:55.489 When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door-to-door 26:55.572 --> 26:57.366 to tell everyone he was a pederast. 26:58.325 --> 27:01.829 What's a pederast, Walter? Shut the fuck up, Donny. 27:04.164 --> 27:06.750 So, how much did he give you? 27:06.834 --> 27:10.087 20 grand, man. And, of course, I still get to keep the rug. 27:10.212 --> 27:11.547 Just for making a hand-off? Yeah. 27:11.630 --> 27:14.007 They gave Dude a beeper. 27:15.008 --> 27:17.803 So whenever these guys call... What if it's during a game? 27:17.886 --> 27:20.514 Oh, I told them if it was during league play... 27:20.597 --> 27:21.723 What's during league play? 27:21.807 --> 27:24.268 Life does not stop and start at your convenience, 27:24.351 --> 27:26.270 you miserable piece of shit. 27:26.353 --> 27:28.313 Ifigure... What's wrong with Walter, Dude? 27:28.397 --> 27:30.899 I figure it's easy money, you know. It's all pretty harmless. 27:30.983 --> 27:32.818 She probably kidnapped herself. 27:33.777 --> 27:36.655 What do you mean, Dude? Rug-peers did not do this. 27:36.738 --> 27:41.618 Look at it. A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. 27:41.702 --> 27:44.538 She figures he isn't giving her enough, you know. 27:44.621 --> 27:46.373 She owes money all over town. 27:46.456 --> 27:48.625 That fucking bitch! 27:48.709 --> 27:50.502 It's all a goddamn fake, man. 27:50.586 --> 27:52.504 It's like Lenin said, 27:52.588 --> 27:57.551 you look for the person who will benefit and, you know... 27:57.634 --> 28:00.262 I Am the Walrus? You know, you'll... 28:00.929 --> 28:02.931 You know what I'm trying to say. I Am the VVa/rus. 28:03.015 --> 28:05.809 That fucking bitch! Oh, yeah! 28:05.893 --> 28:07.311 I Am the Walrus. Thafis... 28:07.394 --> 28:08.896 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 28:08.979 --> 28:12.024 V.l. Lenin, Vladimir llyich Ulyanov! 28:12.107 --> 28:13.275 What the fuck is he talking about? 28:13.358 --> 28:15.194 Fucking exactly what happened to those... 28:15.277 --> 28:16.820 That makes me fucking sick! 28:16.945 --> 28:19.865 Well, what do you care, Walter? Those rich fucks. 28:19.948 --> 28:21.909 This whole fucking thing. 28:21.992 --> 28:24.745 I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck 28:24.828 --> 28:26.580 so that this fucking strumpet, 28:26.663 --> 28:27.831 this fucking whore, could waltz around... 28:27.915 --> 28:30.334 I don't see any connection with Vietnam, man. 28:30.417 --> 28:32.044 Well, there isn't a literal connection, Dude. 28:32.127 --> 28:34.046 No, Walter, face it, there isn't any connection. 28:34.129 --> 28:35.589 Your roll. Have it your way. 28:35.672 --> 28:37.007 Your roll. But my point is... 28:37.132 --> 28:39.885 My point is... QUINTANA: Are you ready to be fucked, man? 28:41.553 --> 28:44.348 I see you rolled your way into the semis. 28:45.390 --> 28:47.726 Dios mio, man. 28:47.809 --> 28:50.646 Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. 28:51.146 --> 28:56.944 Yeah? Well, you know, that's just like your opinion, man. 28:58.153 --> 29:01.240 Let me tell you something, pendejo. 29:01.323 --> 29:03.533 You pull any of your crazy shit with us, 29:03.617 --> 29:06.411 you flash a piece out on the lanes, 29:06.495 --> 29:09.414 I'll take it away from you and stick it up your ass 29:09.498 --> 29:12.709 and pull the fucking trigger till it goes click. 29:14.670 --> 29:15.921 Jesus. 29:16.004 --> 29:17.673 You said it, man. 29:17.756 --> 29:20.008 Nobody fucks with the Jesus. 29:26.306 --> 29:27.683 Eight-year-olds, Dude. 29:50.872 --> 29:54.042 La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la 29:54.418 --> 29:56.545 La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia 29:56.628 --> 29:58.255 La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia 29:58.338 --> 30:00.841 La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia 30:01.174 --> 30:02.926 La-Ia, Ia-Ia 30:05.095 --> 30:06.722 La-Ia-Ia 30:07.973 --> 30:10.017 La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia 30:10.100 --> 30:11.476 La-Ia, Ia-Ia 30:14.438 --> 30:16.648 The man in me will do 30:17.733 --> 30:20.235 Nearly any task 30:21.069 --> 30:24.156 And as for compensation 30:24.239 --> 30:26.325 There's little he would ask 30:27.909 --> 30:30.495 Take a woman like you 30:31.288 --> 30:32.706 To get through 30:33.165 --> 30:35.250 To the man in me 30:38.295 --> 30:41.423 Storm clouds are raging 30:41.923 --> 30:44.468 All around my door 30:45.552 --> 30:47.429 I think to myself 30:47.512 --> 30:50.974 I might not take it anymore 30:51.767 --> 30:54.686 Take a woman like your kind 30:55.103 --> 30:59.149 To find the man in me 31:01.902 --> 31:03.612 But, oh 31:04.863 --> 31:06.782 What a wonderful feeling 31:09.409 --> 31:11.203 Just to know 31:11.286 --> 31:13.747 That you are near 31:16.708 --> 31:20.128 Sets my heart a-reeling 31:21.505 --> 31:24.383 From my toes 31:24.925 --> 31:27.969 Up to my ears 31:28.845 --> 31:32.099 The man in me will hide sometimes 31:32.182 --> 31:33.683 They called about 80 minutes ago. 31:33.767 --> 31:36.395 They want you to take the money, drive north on the 405. 31:36.478 --> 31:37.813 They will call you on the portable phone 31:37.896 --> 31:39.981 with instructions in about 40 minutes. 31:40.065 --> 31:41.149 One person only. 31:41.233 --> 31:43.652 They were very clear on that, or I'd go with you. One person only. 31:43.777 --> 31:46.780 Vvhathappened to your jaw? Oh, nothing, man. 31:48.323 --> 31:49.950 Here's the money. 31:50.784 --> 31:52.411 And the phone. 31:52.494 --> 31:55.330 Please, Dude, follow whatever instructions they give. 31:55.414 --> 31:58.208 All right. Her life is in your hands. 31:58.291 --> 31:59.918 Man, don't say that. 32:00.001 --> 32:02.587 Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat that, her life is in your hands. 32:02.671 --> 32:04.005 Oh, shit, man. 32:04.089 --> 32:06.425 Her life is in yourhands,Dude. 32:06.508 --> 32:09.177 Report back to us as soon as it's done. 32:18.687 --> 32:22.941 Where the fuck are you going, man? Take the ringer, I'll drive. 32:23.024 --> 32:25.235 The what? The ringer. 32:25.318 --> 32:26.945 The ringer, Dude. 32:34.703 --> 32:36.663 What the... Have they called yet? 32:36.746 --> 32:38.540 What the hell is this? 32:38.623 --> 32:41.501 My dirty undies, Dude. The laundry. The whites. 32:41.585 --> 32:45.714 Walter, I'm sure there's a reason you brought your dirty undies, man. 32:45.797 --> 32:47.090 That's right, Dude. The weight. 32:47.174 --> 32:48.467 The ringer cannot look empty. 32:48.550 --> 32:50.635 Walter, what the fuck are you thinking, man? 32:50.719 --> 32:52.637 You're right, Dude. I got to thinking. 32:52.721 --> 32:55.557 I got to thinking, why should we settle for a measly fucking 20 grand... 32:55.640 --> 32:58.852 We? What the fuck, "we"? You said you just wanted to come along. 32:58.935 --> 33:01.313 My point, Dude, is why should we settle for 20 grand 33:01.396 --> 33:04.065 when we can keep the entire million? Am I wrong? 33:04.149 --> 33:07.235 Yes, you're wrong. This isn't a fucking game, man. 33:07.319 --> 33:09.654 Oh, but it is a game. You said so yourself. 33:09.738 --> 33:11.948 She kidnapped herself. I said I thought... 33:18.205 --> 33:20.248 Dude, here. MAN: Who is this? 33:21.666 --> 33:24.628 Dude. The bagman, man. Where do you want us to go? 33:24.711 --> 33:25.754 Us? 33:27.380 --> 33:28.465 Shit! 33:30.383 --> 33:33.011 Yeah, you know, me and the driver. 33:33.094 --> 33:36.848 I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all by my... 33:36.932 --> 33:38.183 Shut the fuck up! 33:38.266 --> 33:41.269 Dude, are you fucking this up? Who is that? 33:42.604 --> 33:45.190 That is the driver. I told you... 33:46.942 --> 33:48.860 Oh, shit! What the fuck's going on? 33:48.944 --> 33:50.320 Walter... What the fuck is going on? 33:50.403 --> 33:54.699 He hung up, man. You fucked it up. You fucked it up! 33:54.824 --> 33:57.369 Her “fie was 'm our hands, man. Easy, Dude. 33:57.452 --> 34:01.331 We're screwed now. We don't get shit. They're gonna kill her. 34:01.414 --> 34:04.125 We're fucked, Walter. Nothing is fucked, Dude. 34:04.209 --> 34:06.711 Come on. You're being very un-Dude. 34:06.795 --> 34:09.214 They'll call back. Look, she kidnapped... 34:10.423 --> 34:12.384 You see? Nothing's fucked here, Dude. 34:12.467 --> 34:16.346 Nothing is fucked. They're a bunch of fucking amateurs. 34:16.429 --> 34:18.932 Walter, will you just shut the fuck up? 34:19.015 --> 34:21.393 Don't say peep while I'm doing business here, man. 34:21.476 --> 34:23.436 Okay, Dude. Have it your way. 34:25.522 --> 34:27.983 But they're amateurs. Fuck. 34:29.568 --> 34:30.735 Dude. 34:30.819 --> 34:34.072 Okay, we proceed but only if there is no funny stuff. 34:34.155 --> 34:35.699 Yeah, yeah. 34:35.782 --> 34:37.867 So no funny stuff. Okay? 34:37.951 --> 34:40.537 Just tell me where the fuck you want us to go. 34:44.165 --> 34:46.376 That was the sign, man. 34:46.459 --> 34:50.171 So, all we gotta do is get her back. 34:50.255 --> 34:52.632 No one's in a position to complain. 34:52.716 --> 34:55.135 We keep the baksheesh. Yeah, terrific, Walter. 34:55.218 --> 34:57.887 But you haven't told me how we're gonna get her back. Where is she? 34:57.971 --> 34:59.806 That's the simple part, Dude. 34:59.889 --> 35:04.185 We make the hand-off, I grab one of them and beat it out of him. Huh? 35:05.312 --> 35:07.939 That's a great plan, Walter. 35:08.023 --> 35:10.150 That's fucking ingenious, if I understand it correctly. 35:10.233 --> 35:12.193 It's a Swiss fucking watch. 35:12.277 --> 35:15.405 That's right, Dude. The beauty of this is its simplicity. 35:15.488 --> 35:18.742 Once a plan gets too complex, everything can go wrong. 35:18.825 --> 35:20.577 If there's one thing I learned in Nam... 35:24.539 --> 35:25.624 Dude. 35:25.707 --> 35:27.542 You are coming to wooden bridge. 35:27.626 --> 35:28.793 When you cross the bridge, 35:28.877 --> 35:32.172 you throw the bag from the left window of the moving car. 35:32.255 --> 35:33.298 You're being watched. 35:34.633 --> 35:36.968 Fuck. Wham he say'? 'nere's the hand-off'? 35:37.052 --> 35:38.720 There is no fucking hand-off, man. 35:38.803 --> 35:41.473 At the wooden bridge we throw the money out of the oar. 35:41.556 --> 35:44.392 We throw the money out of the moving car. 35:44.934 --> 35:47.604 We can't do that, Dude. That fucks up our plan. 35:47.687 --> 35:49.606 Well, call them up and explain it to them, Walter. 35:49.689 --> 35:50.940 Your plan is so fucking simple, 35:51.024 --> 35:52.817 I'm sure they'll fucking understand it. 35:52.901 --> 35:54.027 That's the beauty of it. 35:54.152 --> 35:56.529 Wooden bfidge,huh? Throw them the money, Walter. 35:56.613 --> 35:58.156 We're not fucking around, man. 35:58.239 --> 36:00.492 Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up. Give me the ringer, chop-chop. 36:00.575 --> 36:02.118 Fuck that. Walter, I love you, 36:02.202 --> 36:05.288 but sooner or later you're gonna have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron. 36:05.372 --> 36:07.707 Okay, Dude. No time to argue. Hey, man! 36:07.791 --> 36:10.168 Here's the bridge. Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter! 36:10.251 --> 36:12.962 Hey, Walter! Here goes the ringer! 36:14.255 --> 36:16.466 What the fuck? Okay, Dude, you're wheel. 36:16.549 --> 36:18.718 Hey, man, what the fuck? At 15 mph, I roll out. 36:18.802 --> 36:20.720 I double back, grab one of them and beat it out of him. 36:20.804 --> 36:22.013 The Uzi. Uzi. 36:22.097 --> 36:24.182 You didn't think I was rolling out of here naked, did you? 36:24.265 --> 36:26.893 Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it! Let's take that hill! 36:26.976 --> 36:28.269 Walter! 36:51.084 --> 36:53.795 We have it! 36:53.878 --> 36:56.381 We have it! 36:56.464 --> 36:58.425 We have it! 37:12.981 --> 37:14.983 Fuck it, Dude. 37:15.066 --> 37:16.651 Let's go bowling. 37:55.148 --> 37:58.443 Aitz chaim he, Dude, as the ex used to say. 37:58.526 --> 38:00.320 What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 38:00.403 --> 38:03.490 What the fuck are we gonna tell Lebowski? 38:03.573 --> 38:05.700 Oh, him. 38:05.784 --> 38:08.787 I don't know. Vvhatexacfly is the problem? 38:08.870 --> 38:10.705 The problem is... 38:11.998 --> 38:13.750 What do you mean, what's the... 38:13.833 --> 38:15.376 There was no... 38:16.211 --> 38:17.796 We didn't... 38:18.880 --> 38:21.090 They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! 38:21.174 --> 38:23.009 What the fuck are you talking about? 38:23.092 --> 38:25.637 The poor woman, that poor slut kidnapped herself. 38:25.720 --> 38:27.013 Come on, Dude. You said so yourself. 38:27.096 --> 38:29.390 Man, I said I thought she kidnapped herself. 38:29.474 --> 38:30.975 You're the one who's so fucking certain. 38:31.059 --> 38:33.603 That's right, Dude. 100% certain. 38:33.686 --> 38:35.396 They posted the next round for the tournament. 38:35.480 --> 38:36.731 Donny, shut the fuck... 38:36.815 --> 38:38.817 When do we play? This Saturday. Quintana and... 38:38.900 --> 38:40.652 Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule. 38:40.735 --> 38:43.071 Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski? 38:43.154 --> 38:46.491 I told that fuck down at the league office. V\Iho's in charge of scheduling? 38:46.574 --> 38:48.117 Walter! Burkhalter. 38:48.201 --> 38:51.162 I told that kraut a fucking thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos! 38:51.246 --> 38:52.539 Walter! They already posted it. 38:52.622 --> 38:54.207 Well, they can fucking un-post it! 38:54.290 --> 38:57.585 Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! 38:57.710 --> 38:59.963 What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Come on, Dude. 39:00.046 --> 39:03.049 Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back. 39:03.132 --> 39:04.676 How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? 39:04.759 --> 39:05.885 I'm shomer shabbos. 39:06.010 --> 39:07.929 What's that, Walter? Yeah, and in the meantime, 39:08.012 --> 39:09.430 what do I tell Lebowski? 39:09.514 --> 39:11.850 Saturday, Donny, is shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. 39:11.933 --> 39:14.394 That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, 39:14.477 --> 39:15.979 I don't fucking ride in a car, 39:16.062 --> 39:17.897 I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven 39:17.981 --> 39:20.108 and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! 39:21.025 --> 39:22.110 Sheesh. 39:22.193 --> 39:23.736 Shomer shabbos! 39:25.655 --> 39:28.324 Walter, how am I gonna... Shomer fucking shabbos! 39:28.449 --> 39:31.703 Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here. Oh, come on, Dude. 39:33.746 --> 39:35.623 Dude!Dude! 39:37.876 --> 39:39.210 You just tell him... 39:39.294 --> 39:41.671 Tell him we made the drop and everything went, you know... 39:41.754 --> 39:42.797 Oh, yeah. How'd it go? 39:42.881 --> 39:44.757 Went all right. Dude's car got a little dinged up. 39:44.841 --> 39:47.218 Walter, we didn't make the fucking hand-off, man! 39:47.302 --> 39:49.387 They didn't get the fucking money! 39:49.470 --> 39:50.680 And they're gonna... They're gonna... 39:50.763 --> 39:52.348 They're gonna kill that poor woman. 39:52.432 --> 39:55.101 They're gonna kill that poor woman! 39:55.184 --> 39:56.644 Walter, if you can't ride in a car, 39:56.728 --> 39:58.104 then how do you get around on shabbos? 39:58.187 --> 40:00.231 Really, Dude, you surprise me. 40:00.315 --> 40:01.608 They're not gonna kill shit. 40:01.691 --> 40:02.817 They're not gonna do shit. 40:02.901 --> 40:04.527 What can they do to her? Bunch of fucking amateurs. 40:04.611 --> 40:06.446 And meanwhile, look at the bottom line. 40:06.529 --> 40:08.781 Who's sitting on a million fucking dollars? 40:08.865 --> 40:09.991 Am I wrong? Walter. 40:10.074 --> 40:13.119 V\Iho's got a fucking million fucking dollars sitting in the trunk of our oar? 40:13.244 --> 40:16.247 Our car, Walter? And what do they got? My dirty undies. 40:16.331 --> 40:17.999 My fucking whites! 40:24.088 --> 40:25.423 SaY,Dude? 40:26.299 --> 40:28.217 Where is your car? 40:28.343 --> 40:31.471 Who's got your undies, Walter? Where's your car, Dude? 40:31.554 --> 40:33.681 You don't know, Walter? 40:34.390 --> 40:38.061 It was parked in a handicap zone. Perhaps they towed it. 40:38.978 --> 40:41.689 You fucking know it's been stolen. 40:41.773 --> 40:44.692 Well, certainly that's a possibility, Dude. 40:46.069 --> 40:47.487 Oh, fuck it. 40:50.031 --> 40:53.451 Where you going, Dude? I'm going home, Donny. 40:53.534 --> 40:56.704 Phone's ringing, Dude. Thank you, Donny! 41:12.387 --> 41:13.513 Yeah. 41:14.889 --> 41:20.019 Green with some brown, rust coloration. 41:21.229 --> 41:24.357 And was there anything of value in the car? 41:24.440 --> 41:25.900 Oh, yeah. 41:27.276 --> 41:31.614 A tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a... 41:34.200 --> 41:35.743 My briefcase. 41:38.329 --> 41:39.956 In the briefcase? 41:42.083 --> 41:43.251 Papers. 41:44.168 --> 41:45.586 Just papers. 41:46.587 --> 41:49.966 You know, my papers, business papers. 41:51.634 --> 41:54.971 And what do you do, sir? I'm unemployed. 41:58.349 --> 42:01.269 My rug was also stolen. 42:01.352 --> 42:03.646 Your rug was in the car? 42:03.730 --> 42:05.440 No. Here. 42:06.107 --> 42:07.775 Separate incidents. 42:09.777 --> 42:11.529 The Dude is not in. 42:11.612 --> 42:14.449 Do you find them much, these stolen cars? 42:15.533 --> 42:16.868 Sometimes. 42:17.702 --> 42:20.163 Wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck though. 42:20.246 --> 42:21.956 Or the Creedence. 42:22.123 --> 42:26.085 What about the briefcase? 42:26.627 --> 42:28.046 Mr. Lebowski, I'd like to see you. 42:28.129 --> 42:30.048 Call when you get home and I'll send a car for you. 42:30.131 --> 42:33.760 My name is Maude Lebowski. I'm the one who took your rug. 42:33.843 --> 42:36.929 Well, guess we can close the file onthatone. 43:28.523 --> 43:31.442 I'll be with you in a moment, Mr. Lebowski. 43:49.961 --> 43:53.381 Does the female form make you uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski? 43:53.464 --> 43:57.260 Is that what this is a picture of? In a sense, yes. 43:57.343 --> 44:00.012 My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal, 44:00.096 --> 44:01.180 which bothers some men. 44:01.264 --> 44:04.225 The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. 44:04.725 --> 44:06.811 Vagina. Oh, yeah? 44:06.894 --> 44:09.313 Yes, they don't like hearing it and find it difficult to say, 44:09.397 --> 44:10.773 whereas without batting an eye, 44:10.857 --> 44:15.069 a man will refer to his dick, or his rod or his johnson. 44:16.320 --> 44:17.321 "Johnson"? 44:17.405 --> 44:20.116 All right, Mr. Lebowski, let's get down to cases. 44:20.199 --> 44:22.660 My father told me he agreed to let you have the rug, 44:22.743 --> 44:26.706 but as it was a gift from me to my late mother, it was not his to give. 44:26.789 --> 44:28.708 Now, your face. 44:29.959 --> 44:31.878 As for this kidnapping. 44:32.003 --> 44:33.004 Huh? 44:33.087 --> 44:36.507 Yes, I know all about it, and I know that you acted as courier. 44:36.591 --> 44:39.844 Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven. 44:39.927 --> 44:44.140 Yeah, right, but let me explain something about the rug. 44:44.223 --> 44:46.434 Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? 44:47.435 --> 44:50.688 Excuse me? Sex, the physical act of love. Coitus. 44:50.813 --> 44:54.025 Do you like it? I was talking about my rug. 44:54.108 --> 44:56.652 You're not interested in sex? 44:56.736 --> 44:59.030 You mean coitus? I like it, too. 44:59.113 --> 45:01.365 It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. 45:01.449 --> 45:03.868 It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. 45:03.951 --> 45:05.369 However, there are some people, 45:05.453 --> 45:08.372 it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women, 45:08.456 --> 45:11.626 who engage in it compulsively and without joy. 45:11.709 --> 45:14.712 Oh, no. Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski. 45:14.795 --> 45:18.716 These unfortunate souls cannot love, in the true sense of the word. 45:18.799 --> 45:22.261 Our mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. 45:22.345 --> 45:24.555 Listen, Maude, 45:24.639 --> 45:27.850 I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, 45:27.934 --> 45:31.312 but, you know, I don't see what this has to do with... 45:31.395 --> 45:34.190 You have any Kahlua? Take a look at this, sir. 45:37.735 --> 45:39.570 Oh, I know that guy. 45:41.155 --> 45:43.366 He's a nihilist. 45:44.951 --> 45:46.661 "Karl Hungus." 46:00.424 --> 46:01.842 Hi. Hello. 46:01.926 --> 46:04.887 Mein dispatcher says there is something wrong with dein Kabel. 46:04.971 --> 46:06.097 Yeah. Come on in. 46:06.180 --> 46:08.599 I'm not really sure exactly what's really wrong with the cable. 46:08.683 --> 46:11.269 That's why they sent me. I am an expert. 46:11.352 --> 46:12.687 The TV's in here. 46:12.728 --> 46:15.940 You recognize her, of course. Helga, bring my tools- 46:18.859 --> 46:20.611 That's my friend Sherry. 46:20.695 --> 46:22.363 She just came over to use the shower. 46:22.446 --> 46:24.782 The story is ludicrous. 46:24.865 --> 46:27.827 My name is Karl. lch bin expert. 46:27.910 --> 46:29.954 You must be here to fix the cable. 46:30.037 --> 46:32.915 Lord, you can imagine where it goes from here. 46:32.999 --> 46:34.458 He fixes the cable? 46:34.542 --> 46:36.585 Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey. 46:36.669 --> 46:39.964 Little matter to me that this woman chose to pursue a career in pornography, 46:40.047 --> 46:42.675 nor that she has been banging Jackie Treehorn, 46:42.758 --> 46:44.510 to use the parlance of our times. 46:44.593 --> 46:48.556 However, I am one of the two trustees of the Lebowski Foundation, 46:48.639 --> 46:50.308 the other being my father. 46:50.391 --> 46:52.351 The foundation takes youngsters from Watts and... 46:52.435 --> 46:53.811 Shit, yeah. The achievers. 46:53.894 --> 46:57.606 Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes, and proud we are of all of them. 46:57.690 --> 47:01.527 I asked my father about his withdrawal of $1 million from the foundation aooount, 47:01.610 --> 47:03.446 and he told me about this abduction, 47:03.529 --> 47:05.156 but I tell you it is preposterous. 47:05.239 --> 47:09.160 This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ride. 47:09.243 --> 47:11.162 Yeah, but my... I'm getting to your rug. 47:11.245 --> 47:12.997 My father and I don't get along. 47:13.080 --> 47:14.707 He doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, 47:14.790 --> 47:16.459 needless to say, I don't approve of his. 47:16.542 --> 47:20.338 However, I hardly wish to make my father's embezzlement a police matter. 47:20.421 --> 47:23.299 So I'm proposing that you try to recover the money 47:23.382 --> 47:25.509 from the people you delivered it to. 47:25.593 --> 47:28.512 Well, I could do that. 47:28.596 --> 47:30.473 If you successfully do so, 47:30.556 --> 47:35.811 I will compensate you to the tune of 10% of the recovered sum. 47:35.895 --> 47:37.897 A hundred... Thousand. Yes. 47:37.980 --> 47:40.733 Bones or clams or whatever you call them. 47:40.816 --> 47:45.071 Yeah, but what about my... Your rug, yes. 47:45.154 --> 47:47.740 Well, with that money you can buy any number of rugs 47:47.823 --> 47:50.451 that don't have sentimental value for me. 47:50.534 --> 47:53.037 And I am sorry about that crack on the jaw. 47:53.120 --> 47:55.581 Oh, that's fine. That doesn't even... 47:55.664 --> 47:58.209 Here's the name and number of a doctor who will look at it for you. 47:58.292 --> 47:59.877 You will receive no bill. 47:59.960 --> 48:01.545 He's a good man and thorough. 48:01.629 --> 48:03.214 That's thoughtful but... 48:03.297 --> 48:06.801 Please see him, Jeffrey. He's a good man and thorough. 48:08.427 --> 48:10.596 Oh, well, all right. 48:11.639 --> 48:13.265 So he says, "My wife's a pain in the ass. 48:13.349 --> 48:15.768 "She's always busting my frigging agates. 48:15.851 --> 48:19.063 "My daughter's married to a loser bastard. 48:19.146 --> 48:23.025 "L got a rash so bad on my ass I can't even sit down. 48:23.109 --> 48:25.236 "But you know me, I can't complain." 48:25.403 --> 48:27.154 Oh, fucking A, man. 48:27.238 --> 48:29.990 I got a rash, man. Fucking A. 48:31.033 --> 48:33.577 I gotta tell you, Tone, man, 48:33.661 --> 48:36.789 earlier today I was really feeling shitty, man. 48:36.872 --> 48:38.791 Really down in the dumps. 48:38.874 --> 48:40.251 Lost a little money... 48:40.334 --> 48:43.754 Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh? Forget about it. 48:43.838 --> 48:45.089 Yeah, fuck it, man. 48:45.172 --> 48:48.008 You can't be worried about that shit. Life goes on, man. 48:48.092 --> 48:50.803 Well, home, sweet home, Mr. L. 48:53.514 --> 48:55.808 Hey, yo. Come here. 48:55.891 --> 48:58.394 Who's your friend in the Volkswagen? Huh? 49:00.271 --> 49:02.481 Yeah. He followed us here. 49:02.565 --> 49:05.484 When did he start... Whoa! What the fuck? 49:05.568 --> 49:07.695 Get in the limo, you son of a bitch! No arguments! 49:07.778 --> 49:10.656 Hey! Hey! Careful, man! There's a beverage here! 49:12.324 --> 49:14.785 Start talking, and talk fast, you lousy bum. 49:14.869 --> 49:16.704 We've been frantically trying to reach you, Dude. 49:16.787 --> 49:19.331 Where is my goddamn money, you bum? 49:20.875 --> 49:23.586 Well, we... I don't... 49:23.669 --> 49:25.963 They did not receive the money, you nitwit! 49:26.046 --> 49:27.631 They did not receive the money! 49:27.715 --> 49:30.009 Her life was in your hands! 49:30.092 --> 49:31.635 This is our concern, Dude. 49:31.719 --> 49:33.762 No, man. Nothing is fucked here. 49:33.846 --> 49:35.764 Nothing is fucked? No, man. 49:35.848 --> 49:39.643 The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain! 49:39.727 --> 49:43.981 Man, come on. Who are you gonna believe, those guys or... 49:44.064 --> 49:45.816 We dropped off the damn money. 49:45.900 --> 49:47.193 We? 49:48.486 --> 49:51.489 I, the royal we. 49:51.572 --> 49:52.907 You know. The editorial... 49:52.990 --> 49:55.034 I dropped off the money exactly as per... 49:55.117 --> 49:58.871 Look, man, I've got certain information. All right? 49:58.954 --> 50:01.457 Certain things have come to light and... 50:01.540 --> 50:04.168 You know, has it ever occurred to you 50:04.251 --> 50:09.673 that instead of, you know, running around, blaming me... 50:09.757 --> 50:11.967 You know, given the nature of all this new shit, 50:12.051 --> 50:17.890 you know, this could be a lot more complex... 50:17.973 --> 50:22.937 I mean, it's not just... It might not be just such a simple... You know? 50:23.020 --> 50:26.524 What in God's holy name are you blathering about? 50:26.607 --> 50:28.984 Well, I'll tell you what I'm blathering about. 50:29.068 --> 50:31.028 I've got information, man. 50:31.111 --> 50:32.863 New shit has come to light. 50:32.947 --> 50:34.907 And, shit, man, 50:36.867 --> 50:38.786 she kidnapped herself. 50:41.789 --> 50:44.542 Well, sure, man. Look at it. You know? 50:44.625 --> 50:48.546 A young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know. 50:48.629 --> 50:53.801 She owes money all over town, including to known pornographers. 50:55.719 --> 50:57.972 And that's cool. That's cool. 50:58.847 --> 51:02.685 I'm saying she needs money, man. 51:02.768 --> 51:06.438 And, you know, of course they're gonna say they didn't get it 51:07.731 --> 51:10.568 because she wants more, man. 51:10.651 --> 51:13.070 She's gotta feed the monkey. I mean... 51:15.406 --> 51:18.492 Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? 51:18.576 --> 51:19.660 Sir? 51:21.829 --> 51:25.207 No, Mr. Lebowski, it had not occurred to me. 51:25.291 --> 51:27.501 That had not occurred to us, Dude. 51:27.585 --> 51:29.044 Well, okay, you know? 51:29.128 --> 51:33.632 You guys aren't privy to all the new shit, so, you know... 51:33.716 --> 51:37.094 But, hey, that's what you... That's what you pay me for. 51:39.513 --> 51:40.639 Speaking of which, 51:40.723 --> 51:45.060 do you think that you could give me my $20,000 in cash? 51:45.144 --> 51:48.105 My concern is, and I've gotta check it with my accountant, 51:48.188 --> 51:50.941 that this might bump me up into a higher tax... 51:51.025 --> 51:53.611 Brandt, give him the envelope. 51:54.320 --> 51:58.282 Oh, well, if you've already got the check made out, that's cool. 51:58.365 --> 52:00.367 We received this this morning. 52:02.911 --> 52:06.290 Since you have failed to achieve, 52:06.373 --> 52:09.877 even in the modest task which was your charge, 52:09.960 --> 52:13.130 since you have stolen my money, 52:13.213 --> 52:16.925 since you have unrepentantly betrayed my trust, 52:17.009 --> 52:20.971 I have no choice but to tell these bums 52:21.055 --> 52:23.265 to do whatever is necessary 52:23.349 --> 52:27.478 to recover their money from you, Jeffrey Lebowski. 52:28.729 --> 52:32.816 And with Brandt as my witness, I will tell you this, 52:32.900 --> 52:36.153 any further harm visited upon Bunny 52:36.236 --> 52:39.865 will be visited tenfold upon your head. 52:42.242 --> 52:43.702 By God, sir, 52:44.244 --> 52:47.247 I will not abide another toe. 52:47.873 --> 52:53.253 I hear the cottonwoods whispering above 52:53.337 --> 52:55.464 That wasn't her toe, Dude. 52:57.216 --> 53:00.219 Whose toe was it, Walter? How the fuck should I know? 53:00.344 --> 53:03.847 I do know that nothing about it indicates... The nail polish, Walter. 53:03.931 --> 53:05.224 Fine, Dude. 53:05.307 --> 53:09.186 As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe... 53:09.269 --> 53:10.562 Someone else... Pinking shears. 53:10.646 --> 53:12.022 Where the fuck are they gonna get... 53:12.106 --> 53:14.858 You want a toe? I can get you a toe. 53:14.942 --> 53:16.819 Believe me, there are ways, Dude. 53:16.944 --> 53:19.196 You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Yeah, but, Walter... 53:19.279 --> 53:22.700 Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish. 53:22.783 --> 53:24.702 These fucking amateurs. Walter... 53:24.785 --> 53:27.621 They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. 53:27.705 --> 53:29.248 Jesus Christ! Walter... 53:29.373 --> 53:31.458 The point is... They're gonna kill her, Walter, 53:31.542 --> 53:33.210 and then they're gonna kill me. 53:33.293 --> 53:35.754 Dude, that's... 53:37.047 --> 53:39.216 That's just the stress talking, man. 53:39.299 --> 53:44.346 Now, so far we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes. 53:44.430 --> 53:46.974 What about the toe? Forget about the fucking toe! 53:47.057 --> 53:50.185 Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? 53:50.269 --> 53:52.062 This is a family restaurant. 53:52.146 --> 53:54.565 Oh, please! Dear, for your information, 53:54.648 --> 53:57.443 the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint. 53:57.526 --> 53:59.903 Come on. Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man. 53:59.987 --> 54:03.157 Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 54:03.240 --> 54:06.326 Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck 54:06.410 --> 54:09.079 so that you and I can enjoy this family restaurant! 54:09.204 --> 54:12.541 All right, I'm out of here. Hey, Dude, don't go away, man. 54:12.624 --> 54:16.587 Come on. This affects all of us, man! It's our basic freedoms! 54:21.341 --> 54:22.801 I'm staying. 54:25.012 --> 54:27.014 I'm finishing my coffee. 54:31.852 --> 54:33.645 EnlQYiTIQ my coffee. 54:49.870 --> 54:52.039 The Dude is not in. 54:52.122 --> 54:54.958 Leave a message after the beep. It takes a minute. 54:56.168 --> 54:59.880 Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD. 54:59.963 --> 55:01.465 We've recovered your automobile. 55:01.548 --> 55:04.843 It can be claimed at the North Hollywood Auto Circus there on Victory. 55:04.927 --> 55:06.053 Their hours there are... 55:06.136 --> 55:07.679 Far out, man. Far fucking out! 55:18.148 --> 55:21.527 Hey! This is a private residence, man. 55:29.910 --> 55:31.745 Oh, nice marmot. 55:41.505 --> 55:45.592 Where is the money, Lebowski? V\Ie wants the money, Lebowski! 55:51.598 --> 55:54.810 You think we are kidding or making with the funny stuff? 55:54.893 --> 55:57.187 We could do things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski. 55:57.312 --> 56:01.233 Ja, we believes in nothing. V\Ie believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing! 56:01.316 --> 56:04.653 And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your johnson. 56:04.736 --> 56:07.990 Excuse me? I said, we cut off yourjohnson! 56:08.073 --> 56:10.492 Just think about that, Lebowski. 56:10.576 --> 56:12.494 Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski. 56:12.578 --> 56:14.913 Ja. Maybe we stomp on it and squish it. 56:23.881 --> 56:28.302 It was discovered last night in Van Nuys lodged against an abutment. 56:28.385 --> 56:30.178 Oh, man. Lodged where? 56:30.262 --> 56:32.556 You're lucky she didn't get chopped, Mr. Lebowski. 56:32.639 --> 56:35.058 Oh,man! Must've been a joyride situation. 56:35.142 --> 56:37.686 They abandoned the vehicle once they hit the retaining wall. 56:37.769 --> 56:41.106 Oh, my fucking briefcase, man! It's not here! Shit! 56:41.189 --> 56:42.900 Yeah, I saw that on the report. Sorry. 56:42.983 --> 56:44.985 You gotta get in on the other side. 56:46.028 --> 56:49.197 The side view was found on the road by the car. 56:50.782 --> 56:54.703 You're lucky they left the tape deck though, and the Creedence. 56:55.078 --> 56:57.706 Oh, Jesus! What's that smell, man? 56:57.789 --> 57:00.834 Yeah. It's probably a vagrant slept in the car. 57:00.918 --> 57:03.670 Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on. 57:03.754 --> 57:05.005 Hey, man, 57:06.340 --> 57:07.966 are you gonna find these guys? 57:08.050 --> 57:12.596 Or, you know, I mean... You got any promising leads or... 57:12.888 --> 57:14.431 Leads? 57:14.514 --> 57:16.099 Yeah. Sure. 57:16.183 --> 57:19.436 I'll just check with the boys down at the crime lab. 57:19.519 --> 57:23.357 They got four more detectives working on the case. 57:23.440 --> 57:25.067 They got us working in shifts! 57:30.530 --> 57:31.698 Leads! 57:32.532 --> 57:34.952 My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me 57:35.035 --> 57:36.745 before the Germans can cut my dick off. 57:36.828 --> 57:37.955 Leads! 57:38.038 --> 57:39.706 Now, that is just ridiculous, Dude. 57:39.790 --> 57:41.500 No one's going to cut your dick off. 57:41.625 --> 57:44.127 Thank you, Walter. Not if I have anything to say about it. 57:44.211 --> 57:45.253 Thank you, Walter. 57:45.379 --> 57:47.381 That makes me feel very secure. Dude? 57:47.506 --> 57:50.425 That makes me feel very warm inside, man. Dude? 57:50.509 --> 57:53.261 This whole fucking thing. 57:53.345 --> 57:56.556 I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. 57:56.682 --> 57:59.935 But no, man, I got a, you know... Yeah. Fucking Germans. 58:00.018 --> 58:01.186 Nothing changes. 58:02.229 --> 58:05.816 Fucking Nazis. They were Nazis, Dude? 58:05.899 --> 58:08.485 Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! 58:08.568 --> 58:10.404 Uh-huh. Are we gonna split hairs here? 58:10.487 --> 58:11.822 No. Am I wrong? 58:11.905 --> 58:15.200 Well, he didn't... Man, they were nihilists, man. 58:15.283 --> 58:17.828 They kept saying they believed in nothing. 58:17.911 --> 58:19.246 Nihilists. 58:20.956 --> 58:22.249 Fuck me. 58:23.959 --> 58:27.129 I mean, say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. 58:27.212 --> 58:29.506 At least it's an ethos. Yeah. 58:29.589 --> 58:32.300 And, also, let's not forget... Let's not forget, Dude, 58:32.384 --> 58:35.345 that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, 58:35.429 --> 58:38.974 for, you know, domestic... 58:39.057 --> 58:40.809 Within the city... 58:41.601 --> 58:44.688 That ain't legal, either. What are you, a fucking park ranger now? 58:44.771 --> 58:46.356 No! I'm just trying to... 58:46.440 --> 58:49.151 Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? 58:49.276 --> 58:52.487 e are sympathmng here, Dude. Fuck sympathy. 58:52.571 --> 58:56.491 I don't need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking johnson. 58:57.451 --> 59:00.662 What do you need that for, Dude? You have got to buck up, man! 59:00.746 --> 59:03.540 You cannot drag this negative energy into the tournament. 59:03.623 --> 59:06.293 Fuck the tournament. Fuck you, Walter. 59:09.004 --> 59:11.006 Fuck the tournament? 59:11.089 --> 59:14.092 Okay, Dude. I can see you don't want to be cheered up here. 59:14.176 --> 59:16.636 Come on, Donny. Let's go get us a lane. 59:21.641 --> 59:24.311 Another Caucasian, Gary. Right, Dude. 59:26.813 --> 59:30.150 Friends like these, huh, Gary? That's right, Dude. 59:37.741 --> 59:42.829 See them tumbling down 59:43.789 --> 59:49.002 Pledging their love to the ground 59:49.669 --> 59:53.924 Lonely, but free, I'll be found 59:54.049 --> 59:58.386 You got a good sarsaparilla? Sioux City Sarsaparilla? 59:58.470 --> 1:00:00.430 Yeah. That's a good one. 1:00:03.517 --> 1:00:05.811 How're you doing there, Dude? 1:00:05.894 --> 1:00:07.979 Not too good, man. 1:00:08.563 --> 1:00:10.982 One of those days, huh? Yeah. 1:00:12.192 --> 1:00:16.947 Well, a wiser fellow than myself once said, 1:00:17.030 --> 1:00:18.824 "Sometimes you eat the bear and..." 1:00:20.367 --> 1:00:22.452 Much obliged. 1:00:22.536 --> 1:00:26.373 "Sometimes the bear, well, he eats you." 1:00:28.083 --> 1:00:30.794 That some kind of Eastern thing? 1:00:30.877 --> 1:00:32.337 Far from it. 1:00:39.052 --> 1:00:41.054 I like your style, Dude. 1:00:42.305 --> 1:00:46.309 Oh, well, I dig your style, too, man. 1:00:46.393 --> 1:00:48.687 Got a whole cowboy thing going. 1:00:53.066 --> 1:00:54.526 Thank you. 1:00:54.609 --> 1:00:56.528 There's just one thing, Dude. 1:00:56.611 --> 1:00:58.363 What's that? 1:00:58.446 --> 1:01:01.074 Do you have to use so many cuss words? 1:01:04.494 --> 1:01:06.788 What the fuck are you talking about? 1:01:08.081 --> 1:01:10.542 Okay, Dude. Have it your way. 1:01:12.836 --> 1:01:15.172 Take her easy, Dude. 1:01:15.255 --> 1:01:16.923 Yeah. Thanks, man. 1:01:22.929 --> 1:01:24.639 Call for you, Dude. 1:01:28.310 --> 1:01:32.063 Hello? MA LJDE: Jeffrey, you have not gone to the doctor. 1:01:32.147 --> 1:01:35.233 Oh, yeah, no. No, I haven't yet. 1:01:35.317 --> 1:01:37.819 I'd like to see you immediately. 1:01:38.737 --> 1:01:39.779 Oh? 1:01:52.459 --> 1:01:55.754 So, you're Lebowski. Yeah. 1:01:58.632 --> 1:02:00.759 Maude has told me all about you. 1:02:00.842 --> 1:02:03.303 She'll be back in a minute. Sit down. 1:02:03.720 --> 1:02:06.723 Do you want a drink? Yeah, sure. White Russian. 1:02:07.682 --> 1:02:09.476 The bar's over there. 1:02:14.314 --> 1:02:18.401 So, what do you do, Lebowski? Who the fuck are you, man? 1:02:19.903 --> 1:02:23.740 Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah? The friend with the cleft asshole? 1:02:26.910 --> 1:02:29.454 What do you do? Oh, nothing much. 1:02:30.664 --> 1:02:32.582 Hello, Jeffrey. Hello. 1:02:32.666 --> 1:02:35.543 Yeah. How are you? Listen, Maude. 1:02:36.294 --> 1:02:37.837 I got to 1:02:40.173 --> 1:02:42.467 tender my resignation or whatever 1:02:42.550 --> 1:02:47.555 because looks like your mother really was kidnapped after all. 1:02:47.639 --> 1:02:49.683 She most certainly was not. 1:02:49.766 --> 1:02:54.813 Hey, man, why don't you fucking listen occasionally? 1:02:54.896 --> 1:02:57.440 You might learn something. Now, I got... 1:02:57.607 --> 1:03:00.360 Please don't call her my mother. 1:03:00.443 --> 1:03:03.280 She's most definitely the perpetrator and not the victim. 1:03:03.363 --> 1:03:06.199 I'm telling you, I've got pretty definitive evidence. 1:03:06.283 --> 1:03:09.119 From who? From the main guy, Uli. 1:03:09.202 --> 1:03:12.539 Uli Kunkel? Her costar in the beaver picture? 1:03:14.207 --> 1:03:17.294 You mean vagina? I mean, you know the guy? 1:03:17.377 --> 1:03:20.213 I might have introduced them, for all I know. 1:03:20.297 --> 1:03:22.465 Do you remember Uli? 1:03:22.549 --> 1:03:25.302 He's a musician. Used to have a group, Autobahn. 1:03:25.385 --> 1:03:29.931 Look in my LP's. They released one album in the late '70s. 1:03:30.015 --> 1:03:32.934 Their music is sort of a techno pop. 1:03:33.059 --> 1:03:36.479 So he's pretending to be the abductor? V\Iell, yeah. 1:03:36.563 --> 1:03:39.941 Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap someone you're acquainted with. 1:03:40.025 --> 1:03:44.529 The whole idea is that the hostage can't identify you after you've let them go. 1:03:44.612 --> 1:03:46.323 Well, I know that. 1:03:50.493 --> 1:03:53.163 What the fuck is with this guy? Who is he? 1:03:53.246 --> 1:03:56.750 Knox Harrington, the video artist. 1:03:56.833 --> 1:03:58.752 So, Uli has the money. 1:03:59.961 --> 1:04:03.506 Well, no, not exactly. 1:04:04.382 --> 1:04:06.134 This is a very complicated case, Maude. 1:04:06.301 --> 1:04:08.261 You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs, 1:04:08.386 --> 1:04:09.512 a lot of what-have-yous 1:04:09.596 --> 1:04:12.182 and a lot of strands to keep in my head, man. 1:04:12.265 --> 1:04:14.726 You know, a lot of strands in the old Duder's head. 1:04:14.809 --> 1:04:16.019 Hello? 1:04:16.102 --> 1:04:17.979 If Uli doesn't have it, then who does? 1:04:18.063 --> 1:04:19.981 It's Sandra about the Biennale. 1:04:20.065 --> 1:04:23.568 Look. I have to take this. Do you still have that doctor's number? 1:04:23.651 --> 1:04:27.197 No, really, it's not even bruised anymore. Oh, please, Jeffrey. 1:04:27.280 --> 1:04:30.367 I don't want to be responsible for any delayed aftereffects. 1:04:32.911 --> 1:04:34.537 Aftereffects? 1:05:03.983 --> 1:05:07.278 Could you slide your shorts down, Mr. Lebowski, please? 1:05:07.362 --> 1:05:08.446 Mmm? 1:05:08.780 --> 1:05:10.740 No, no, man. She hit me right here. 1:05:10.824 --> 1:05:14.494 I understand. Could you slide your shorts down, please? 1:05:25.630 --> 1:05:27.924 Just got home from Illinois 1:05:28.007 --> 1:05:30.176 Locked the front door, oh, boy 1:05:30.260 --> 1:05:34.472 Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch 1:05:34.848 --> 1:05:37.016 Imagination sets in 1:05:37.100 --> 1:05:39.310 Pretty soon I'm singin' 1:05:39.394 --> 1:05:41.229 Doo,doo,doo 1:05:41.312 --> 1:05:43.398 Looking out my back door 1:05:43.481 --> 1:05:46.192 Keeping mighty cool. There's a giant doing cartwheels 1:05:46.276 --> 1:05:48.528 A statue wearing high heels 1:05:48.611 --> 1:05:50.864 Look at all the happy creatures 1:05:50.947 --> 1:05:53.199 Dancing on the lawn 1:05:53.283 --> 1:05:57.620 A dinosaur Victrola listening to Buck Owens 1:05:57.745 --> 1:05:59.747 Doo, doo, doo 1:05:59.831 --> 1:06:01.916 Looking out my back door 1:06:02.375 --> 1:06:06.713 Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band 1:06:08.214 --> 1:06:09.382 Doo,doo,doo 1:06:09.466 --> 1:06:13.428 Wondrous apparition provided by magician 1:06:13.887 --> 1:06:15.722 Doo,doo,doo 1:06:15.805 --> 1:06:18.475 Looking out my back door 1:06:36.743 --> 1:06:40.997 Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band 1:06:41.080 --> 1:06:44.501 Won't you take a ride on the flying spoon? 1:06:44.584 --> 1:06:46.002 Doo,doo,doo 1:06:46.085 --> 1:06:47.837 Bother me tomorrow 1:06:47.921 --> 1:06:50.381 Today I'll buy no sorrows 1:06:50.465 --> 1:06:51.883 Doo,doo,doo 1:06:51.966 --> 1:06:54.761 Looking out my back door 1:07:47.146 --> 1:07:50.608 He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger. 1:07:50.692 --> 1:07:52.860 No, the ln-N-Out Burger's on Camrose. 1:07:52.944 --> 1:07:55.363 Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those are good burgers, Walter. 1:07:55.446 --> 1:07:58.324 Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid is in the ninth grade, Dude. 1:07:58.408 --> 1:08:01.035 And his father is... Are you ready for this? 1:08:01.119 --> 1:08:04.455 His father is Arthur Digby Sellers. 1:08:04.539 --> 1:08:06.124 Who the fuck is that? 1:08:06.207 --> 1:08:09.252 Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers? VVhO the... 1:08:09.335 --> 1:08:11.713 Have you ever heard of a little show called Branded, Dude? 1:08:11.796 --> 1:08:12.839 Yes, yes, I... 1:08:12.922 --> 1:08:14.924 "All but one man died there at Bitter Creek." 1:08:15.008 --> 1:08:17.260 I know the fucking show, Walter. So what? 1:08:17.343 --> 1:08:21.389 Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 156 episodes, Dude. 1:08:21.472 --> 1:08:23.182 The bulk of the series. 1:08:23.266 --> 1:08:24.309 Oh. 1:08:24.350 --> 1:08:26.936 Not exactly a lightweight. No. 1:08:27.020 --> 1:08:29.355 And yet his son is a fucking dunce. 1:08:30.857 --> 1:08:33.568 Anyway, we'll go there after the what-have-you. 1:08:33.651 --> 1:08:35.320 We'll brace the kid. Should be a pushover. 1:08:35.403 --> 1:08:36.613 We'll be near the ln-N-Out Burger. 1:08:36.696 --> 1:08:37.822 Shut the fuck up, Donny! 1:08:40.116 --> 1:08:43.328 V\Ie'll go out there, we'll brace the kid. He should be a pushover. 1:08:43.411 --> 1:08:45.538 We'll get that fucking million dollars back, 1:08:45.622 --> 1:08:47.749 if he hasn't spent it already. 1:08:47.832 --> 1:08:49.876 A million fucking clams. 1:08:49.959 --> 1:08:53.630 And, yes, we'll be near the... ln-N-Out. 1:08:54.047 --> 1:08:57.467 Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers. A few laughs. 1:09:00.178 --> 1:09:02.472 Our fucking troubles are over, Dude. 1:09:14.942 --> 1:09:17.945 Oh, fuck me, man. 1:09:18.029 --> 1:09:20.823 That kid's already spent all the money, man. 1:09:20.907 --> 1:09:23.159 New Vette? Hardly, Dude. 1:09:23.242 --> 1:09:28.581 I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000 left, depending on the options. 1:09:29.290 --> 1:09:30.291 Wait in the car, Donny. 1:09:34.462 --> 1:09:36.464 Yes? Pilar? 1:09:37.674 --> 1:09:41.803 My name is Walter Sobchak. This is my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski. 1:09:43.221 --> 1:09:45.515 We came to talk about little Larry. 1:09:45.598 --> 1:09:47.684 May we come in? Yes, yes. 1:09:47.767 --> 1:09:49.102 Thank you. 1:09:53.439 --> 1:09:55.066 That's him, Dude. 1:10:02.615 --> 1:10:05.076 And a good day to you, sir! 1:10:05.159 --> 1:10:07.161 Sit down, please. 1:10:12.583 --> 1:10:15.378 Larry, sweetie, the man is here! 1:10:15.461 --> 1:10:18.297 Is he... Does he still write? 1:10:18.381 --> 1:10:21.509 Oh, no, no. He has health problems. 1:10:21.676 --> 1:10:22.885 Uh-huh. 1:10:24.637 --> 1:10:26.681 Sir, I just want to say 1:10:27.682 --> 1:10:30.143 that we're both, on a personal level, 1:10:31.644 --> 1:10:33.604 really enormous fans. 1:10:33.688 --> 1:10:36.858 Branded, especially the early episodes, 1:10:36.941 --> 1:10:39.068 was truly a source of inspiration. 1:10:39.152 --> 1:10:41.946 Sweetie, sit down. This man is the police. 1:10:42.029 --> 1:10:45.616 Oh, no, ma'am. V\Ie didn't want to give the impression that we were police, exactly. 1:10:45.700 --> 1:10:48.453 V\Ie're hoping it won't be necessary to call the police. 1:10:48.536 --> 1:10:50.997 But that's up to little Larry here. 1:10:51.080 --> 1:10:52.707 Isn't it, Larry? 1:11:03.593 --> 1:11:05.720 Is this your homework, Larry? 1:11:07.180 --> 1:11:09.390 Is this your homework, Larry? Look, man, it... 1:11:09.474 --> 1:11:12.852 Dude. Please? ls this your homework, Larry? 1:11:12.935 --> 1:11:14.312 Just ask him about the car, man. 1:11:14.395 --> 1:11:16.731 Is this yours, Larry? ls this your homework, Larry? 1:11:16.814 --> 1:11:18.024 Is that your car out front? 1:11:18.065 --> 1:11:21.027 Is this your homework, Larry? We know it's his fucking homework! 1:11:21.110 --> 1:11:23.362 Where's the fucking money, you little brat? 1:11:23.446 --> 1:11:26.449 Look, Larry, have you ever heard of Vietnam? 1:11:26.574 --> 1:11:28.868 For Christ's sake, Walter. You are entering a world of pain, son. 1:11:28.951 --> 1:11:31.621 We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole the car. 1:11:31.704 --> 1:11:34.248 And the fucking money. And the fucking money! 1:11:34.332 --> 1:11:36.000 And we know that this is your homework! 1:11:36.083 --> 1:11:37.293 We're gonna cut your dick off, Larry. 1:11:37.376 --> 1:11:39.337 You're killing your father, Larry. 1:11:42.507 --> 1:11:44.592 All right. This is pointless. 1:11:45.885 --> 1:11:48.554 Okay, time for Plan B. 1:11:50.807 --> 1:11:53.768 You might want to watch out that front window, Larry. 1:11:55.061 --> 1:11:58.439 Son, this is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! 1:12:00.107 --> 1:12:02.068 A little language problem here. 1:12:02.151 --> 1:12:04.529 Little prick's stonewalling me. 1:12:05.404 --> 1:12:06.948 Walter. 1:12:07.657 --> 1:12:09.659 What are you doing, man? 1:12:12.286 --> 1:12:14.080 What are you doing? 1:12:15.414 --> 1:12:17.083 Here you go, Larry. 1:12:17.166 --> 1:12:19.168 You see what happens? 1:12:19.252 --> 1:12:21.295 You see what happens, Larry? 1:12:22.046 --> 1:12:23.881 You see what happens? Oh, great. 1:12:23.965 --> 1:12:27.552 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass, Larry. 1:12:30.596 --> 1:12:32.223 This is what happens, Larry. 1:12:32.306 --> 1:12:34.141 You see what happens, Larry? 1:12:34.225 --> 1:12:36.686 You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1:12:36.769 --> 1:12:38.980 This is what happens! 1:12:39.146 --> 1:12:41.232 You see what happens, Larry? 1:12:41.315 --> 1:12:43.693 You see what happens, Larry? 1:12:43.776 --> 1:12:47.488 Do you see what happens, Larry, when you fuck a stranger in the ass? 1:12:48.739 --> 1:12:50.283 This is what happens, Larry! 1:12:50.366 --> 1:12:52.034 This is what happens, Larry! 1:12:52.118 --> 1:12:54.871 My car! My baby! This is what happens, Larry! 1:12:54.954 --> 1:12:56.914 This is what happens when you fuck a stranger... 1:12:56.998 --> 1:12:59.667 What the fuck are you doing, man? Stop it! 1:12:59.792 --> 1:13:02.253 Hey, man. I just bought that fucking car last week! 1:13:02.378 --> 1:13:05.381 Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry! I'm gonna fucking kill you! 1:13:05.506 --> 1:13:08.634 I just bought the fucking car last week! Come on, man. 1:13:08.718 --> 1:13:10.553 I'll kill your fucking car, man! 1:13:10.636 --> 1:13:12.680 No, no. Hey, hey, that's not his! Hey! 1:13:12.763 --> 1:13:15.224 God damn it! Whoa! Oh, no! 1:13:15.308 --> 1:13:17.101 Fuck you! Man. No. 1:13:17.184 --> 1:13:19.687 You like that? Fuck you! 1:13:19.770 --> 1:13:23.232 - I'll kill your fucking car! - No. No, no. No. 1:13:23.316 --> 1:13:25.234 I'll kill your fucking car! 1:13:46.255 --> 1:13:48.174 I accept your apology. 1:13:49.342 --> 1:13:52.845 No, I just want to handle it by myself from now on. 1:13:54.055 --> 1:13:56.098 No.No.No! 1:13:56.182 --> 1:13:58.017 That has nothing to do with it. 1:13:59.393 --> 1:14:02.772 Yes, the car made it home. You're calling me at home. 1:14:04.398 --> 1:14:09.153 No, Walter, it did not look like Larry was about to crack! 1:14:11.364 --> 1:14:13.366 Well, that's your perception. 1:14:15.076 --> 1:14:17.745 You know, Walter, you're right. 1:14:17.828 --> 1:14:19.789 There is an unspoken message here. 1:14:19.872 --> 1:14:22.291 It's, "Fuck you! Leave me the fuck alone!" 1:14:25.211 --> 1:14:27.046 Yeah, I'll be at practice. 1:14:44.647 --> 1:14:46.482 Pin your diapers on, Lebowski. 1:14:46.565 --> 1:14:48.317 Jackie Treehorn wants to see you. 1:14:48.401 --> 1:14:51.278 Jackie Treehorn knows which Lebowski you are, Lebowski. 1:14:51.362 --> 1:14:54.198 Jackie Treehorn wants to see the deadbeat Lebowski. 1:14:54.281 --> 1:14:56.158 You're not dealing with morons here. 1:15:44.206 --> 1:15:47.209 Hello, Dude. Thanks for coming. 1:15:47.293 --> 1:15:48.961 I'm Jackie Treehorn. 1:15:51.881 --> 1:15:54.592 This is quite a pad you got here, man. 1:15:54.675 --> 1:15:56.677 Completely unspoiled. 1:15:56.761 --> 1:15:59.972 What's your drink, Dude? A White Russian. Thanks. 1:16:00.848 --> 1:16:02.141 White Russian. 1:16:02.767 --> 1:16:06.729 How's the smut business, Jackie? I wouldn't know, Dude. 1:16:06.812 --> 1:16:12.234 I deal in publishing, entertainment, pofificaladvocacy. 1:16:12.318 --> 1:16:15.571 Which one's Logjammin'? Yes, regrettably, it's true. 1:16:15.654 --> 1:16:18.491 Standards have fallen in adult entertainment. 1:16:18.574 --> 1:16:20.201 It's video, Dude. 1:16:21.035 --> 1:16:22.870 Now that we're competing with those amateurs, 1:16:22.953 --> 1:16:26.499 we can't afford to invest in little extras like story, 1:16:27.333 --> 1:16:30.252 production value, feelings. 1:16:32.004 --> 1:16:37.218 You know, people forget that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone. 1:16:37.843 --> 1:16:39.428 On you maybe. 1:16:39.512 --> 1:16:41.430 Of course, you have to take the good with the bad. 1:16:41.514 --> 1:16:44.433 New technology permits us to do very exciting things 1:16:44.517 --> 1:16:47.228 in interactive erotic software. 1:16:47.311 --> 1:16:51.398 Wave of the future, Dude. 100% electronic. 1:16:52.733 --> 1:16:55.361 Well, I still jerk off manually. 1:16:57.655 --> 1:17:02.034 Of course you do. I can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. 1:17:02.118 --> 1:17:04.829 Well, here it is, Dude. 1:17:04.912 --> 1:17:06.497 Where's Bunny? 1:17:06.539 --> 1:17:09.125 Well, I thought you might know that, man. V\Ihy would I? 1:17:09.208 --> 1:17:13.462 She only ran off to get away from that rather sizable debt to me. 1:17:13.546 --> 1:17:15.965 No, she didn't run off. She's been... 1:17:16.048 --> 1:17:18.134 I heard that kidnapping story, so save it. 1:17:18.217 --> 1:17:20.219 I know you're mixed up in all this, Dude. 1:17:21.846 --> 1:17:24.974 And I don't care what you're trying to get from the husband. 1:17:25.057 --> 1:17:26.559 That's your business. 1:17:26.642 --> 1:17:30.479 All I'm saying is I want mine. 1:17:30.563 --> 1:17:31.814 Yeah, right, man. 1:17:31.897 --> 1:17:35.776 I mean, there are a lot of facets to this, 1:17:35.901 --> 1:17:37.778 a lot of interested parties. 1:17:38.195 --> 1:17:39.530 Excuse me. 1:17:45.244 --> 1:17:46.328 Yeah? 1:17:47.288 --> 1:17:48.455 Oh. yeah? 1:17:48.539 --> 1:17:49.957 Where is that? 1:17:53.586 --> 1:17:55.713 All right. Yeah. 1:17:58.716 --> 1:18:00.050 Excuse me. 1:18:35.544 --> 1:18:39.215 Forgive me. No problemo, man. 1:18:39.298 --> 1:18:43.636 So, if I can find your money, 1:18:45.429 --> 1:18:47.306 what's in it for the Dude? 1:18:47.389 --> 1:18:50.559 Well, of course, there's that to discuss. You want a refill? 1:18:50.643 --> 1:18:54.104 Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods? 10% finder's fee. 1:18:54.188 --> 1:18:57.650 That all right? Okay. Done, Jackie. 1:18:58.609 --> 1:19:00.903 I dig the way you do business, man. 1:19:00.986 --> 1:19:04.615 Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. 1:19:04.698 --> 1:19:07.451 He lives in North Hollywood on Radford, 1:19:08.661 --> 1:19:11.163 by the ln-N-Out Burger. 1:19:11.247 --> 1:19:12.289 Fucking brat. 1:19:12.373 --> 1:19:16.585 But I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's 15. 1:19:18.837 --> 1:19:20.798 Flunking social studies. 1:19:24.176 --> 1:19:27.054 So, if you could just 1:19:27.137 --> 1:19:31.433 write me a check for my 10% of half a million, 1:19:31.517 --> 1:19:34.603 5 grand, I'll go out and mingle. 1:19:39.066 --> 1:19:41.527 You mix a hell of a Caucasian, Jackie. 1:19:43.028 --> 1:19:45.114 Fifteen-year-old kid. 1:19:45.864 --> 1:19:49.868 Is this some sort of a joke? No. No joke. 1:19:51.662 --> 1:19:54.790 No funny stuff, Jackie. The kid's got it. 1:19:54.873 --> 1:19:56.041 Hi, fellas. 1:19:58.752 --> 1:20:00.379 Kid just wanted a car. 1:20:03.674 --> 1:20:07.052 All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. 1:20:07.553 --> 1:20:08.887 Not greedy. 1:20:10.556 --> 1:20:11.932 It really 1:20:13.559 --> 1:20:15.269 tied the room together. 1:20:18.230 --> 1:20:21.400 Darkness washed over the Dude. 1:20:21.483 --> 1:20:25.988 Darker than a black steer's tokus on a moonless prairie night. 1:20:26.947 --> 1:20:29.742 There was no bottom. 1:20:43.839 --> 1:20:46.258 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1:20:46.342 --> 1:20:49.928 What condition my condition was in 1:20:51.930 --> 1:20:57.269 I woke up this morning with the sundown shining in 1:21:00.272 --> 1:21:05.611 I found my mind in a brown paper bag within 1:21:08.489 --> 1:21:12.743 I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high 1:21:12.826 --> 1:21:16.872 I tore my mind on a jagged sky 1:21:16.955 --> 1:21:18.707 I just dropped in 1:21:18.791 --> 1:21:22.961 To see what condition my condition was in 1:21:23.337 --> 1:21:26.006 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1:21:26.090 --> 1:21:29.385 What condition my condition was in 1:21:35.641 --> 1:21:39.228 I pushed my soul in a deep, dark hole 1:21:39.311 --> 1:21:41.980 And then I followed it in 1:21:43.899 --> 1:21:47.027 I watched myself crawlin' out 1:21:47.111 --> 1:21:50.989 As I was a-crawlin' in 1:21:51.615 --> 1:21:54.076 I got up so tight 1:21:54.159 --> 1:21:56.286 I couldn't unwind 1:21:56.370 --> 1:22:00.499 I saw so much I broke my mind 1:22:00.582 --> 1:22:02.418 I just dropped in 1:22:02.501 --> 1:22:06.213 To see what condition my condition was in 1:22:15.180 --> 1:22:17.766 Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah 1:22:17.850 --> 1:22:21.103 What condition my condition was in 1:22:26.984 --> 1:22:30.779 Someone painted "April Fool" 1:22:30.863 --> 1:22:33.490 In big, black letters on a "Dead End" sign 1:22:35.117 --> 1:22:39.496 I had my foot on the gas as I left the road 1:22:39.580 --> 1:22:43.167 And blew out my mind 1:22:43.667 --> 1:22:48.088 Eight miles out of Memphis and I got no spare 1:22:48.172 --> 1:22:52.050 Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere 1:22:52.384 --> 1:22:54.303 I just dropped in 1:22:54.386 --> 1:22:58.724 To see what condition my condition was in 1:23:00.142 --> 1:23:02.478 I said I just dropped in 1:23:02.561 --> 1:23:06.732 To see what condition my condition was in 1:23:07.107 --> 1:23:10.194 Yeah, yeah 1:23:10.277 --> 1:23:16.575 Oh, yeah 1:24:10.712 --> 1:24:14.132 He was innocent 1:24:15.050 --> 1:24:18.679 Not a charge was true 1:24:19.388 --> 1:24:24.977 And they say he ran away branded 1:24:38.365 --> 1:24:40.200 ls this your only ID? 1:24:40.993 --> 1:24:42.911 I know my rights, man. 1:24:45.038 --> 1:24:46.790 You don't know shit, Lebowski. 1:24:46.873 --> 1:24:49.585 I want a fucking lawyer, man. 1:24:49.668 --> 1:24:53.839 L want Bill Kunstler, man, 1:24:55.340 --> 1:24:57.050 or Ron Kuby. 1:24:57.134 --> 1:25:00.304 Mr. Treehorn tells us that he had to eject you 1:25:00.387 --> 1:25:02.389 from his garden party, 1:25:02.848 --> 1:25:04.766 that you were drunk and abusive. 1:25:04.850 --> 1:25:09.938 Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man. 1:25:10.439 --> 1:25:13.567 Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town. 1:25:13.650 --> 1:25:16.028 You don't draw shit, Lebowski. 1:25:16.111 --> 1:25:18.822 Now, we got a nice quiet little beach community here, 1:25:18.905 --> 1:25:21.450 and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. 1:25:21.533 --> 1:25:23.869 So let me make something plain. 1:25:24.411 --> 1:25:28.498 I don't like you sucking around bothering our citizens, Lebowski. 1:25:29.207 --> 1:25:31.460 I don't like your jerk-off name. 1:25:31.543 --> 1:25:32.794 I don't like your jerk-off face. 1:25:32.878 --> 1:25:34.504 I don't like your jerk-off behavior. 1:25:34.588 --> 1:25:37.549 And I don't like you, jerk-off. 1:25:41.219 --> 1:25:43.096 Do I make myself clear? 1:25:46.224 --> 1:25:48.226 I'm sorry. I wasn't listening. 1:25:49.728 --> 1:25:50.771 Ow! 1:25:50.854 --> 1:25:52.439 Fucking fascist! 1:25:54.066 --> 1:25:56.234 Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski. 1:25:57.069 --> 1:25:59.196 Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat! 1:26:00.364 --> 1:26:04.868 Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking ass out of my beach community. 1:26:05.035 --> 1:26:07.704 I want to sleep with you 1:26:07.788 --> 1:26:10.916 In the desert tonight 1:26:12.167 --> 1:26:16.797 With a billion stars all around 1:26:17.673 --> 1:26:20.842 Jesus, man. Could you change the channel? 1:26:20.926 --> 1:26:22.594 Fuck you, man! If you don't like my fucking music, 1:26:22.678 --> 1:26:24.179 get your own fucking cab! 1:26:24.262 --> 1:26:25.347 I had a really rough... 1:26:25.430 --> 1:26:27.182 I'll pull off to the side and kick your ass out. 1:26:27.265 --> 1:26:31.978 Man, come on. I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man. 1:26:39.736 --> 1:26:42.322 Out of my fucking cab! Out! Man! 1:26:43.782 --> 1:26:45.951 Man! Man! Hey! 1:26:57.129 --> 1:27:01.049 There 's a thousand pretty women waiting out there 1:27:01.133 --> 1:27:04.886 And they're all livin' devil may care 1:27:04.970 --> 1:27:08.557 And I'm just the devil with love to spare 1:27:08.807 --> 1:27:12.102 So viva Las Vegas 1:27:12.936 --> 1:27:16.481 Viva Las Vegas 1:27:28.493 --> 1:27:31.121 Oh, Jesus! 1:27:51.057 --> 1:27:52.309 Jeffrey. 1:27:53.226 --> 1:27:55.103 Maude? Love me. 1:27:57.898 --> 1:27:59.858 That's my robe. 1:28:01.151 --> 1:28:03.069 Tell me about yourself, Jeffrey. 1:28:03.904 --> 1:28:06.156 Well, not much to tell. 1:28:07.282 --> 1:28:12.913 I was one of the authors of the Port Huron Statement. 1:28:14.539 --> 1:28:16.917 The original Port Huron Statement. Uh-huh. 1:28:17.375 --> 1:28:20.921 Not the compromised second draft. 1:28:22.839 --> 1:28:24.549 Then I... 1:28:25.717 --> 1:28:28.261 You ever hear of the Seattle Seven? 1:28:28.345 --> 1:28:29.721 That was me. 1:28:32.974 --> 1:28:35.227 And there were six other guys. 1:28:36.770 --> 1:28:39.981 And then the music business, briefly. 1:28:40.065 --> 1:28:41.608 Oh? Yeah. 1:28:41.691 --> 1:28:43.401 Roadie for Metallica. 1:28:43.485 --> 1:28:44.528 Oh. 1:28:44.611 --> 1:28:46.112 Speed of Sound tour. 1:28:46.488 --> 1:28:47.864 Mmm-hmm. 1:28:48.323 --> 1:28:49.991 Bunch of assholes. 1:28:51.284 --> 1:28:54.663 And then, you know, little of this, little of that. 1:28:56.039 --> 1:28:59.292 My career's slowed down a little lately. 1:28:59.376 --> 1:29:02.504 What do you do for recreation? 1:29:03.296 --> 1:29:04.756 Well, the usual. 1:29:04.840 --> 1:29:07.634 Bowl, drive around, 1:29:09.094 --> 1:29:11.429 the occasional acid flashback. 1:29:17.644 --> 1:29:19.729 What happened to your house? 1:29:19.813 --> 1:29:22.357 Oh, Jackie Treehorn trashed the place. 1:29:22.440 --> 1:29:25.360 He thought I had your father's money. 1:29:25.443 --> 1:29:28.613 He got me out of the way while he looked for it. 1:29:28.697 --> 1:29:30.824 Cocktail? No, thanks. 1:29:30.907 --> 1:29:33.994 It's not my father's money. It's the foundation's. 1:29:34.494 --> 1:29:37.789 Why did he think you have it? Who does? 1:29:37.873 --> 1:29:42.335 Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid. Real fucking brat. 1:29:42.419 --> 1:29:45.964 You know, this is a very complicated case, Maude. 1:29:46.047 --> 1:29:48.049 A lot of ins, a lot of outs. 1:29:48.717 --> 1:29:53.263 You know, fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, drug regimen 1:29:53.346 --> 1:29:55.599 to keep my mind, you know, limber, 1:29:55.682 --> 1:29:59.227 and I'm very fucking close to your father's money. 1:29:59.311 --> 1:30:01.938 I keep telling you, it's the foundation's money. 1:30:02.022 --> 1:30:03.648 Father doesn't have any. 1:30:05.233 --> 1:30:07.402 What are you talking about? He's fucking loaded. 1:30:07.485 --> 1:30:09.821 No, no. The wealth is all Mother's. 1:30:10.614 --> 1:30:12.073 No, he runs stuff. 1:30:12.490 --> 1:30:14.701 We did let him run one of the companies briefly, 1:30:14.784 --> 1:30:17.704 but he didn't do very well at it. Oh, he's, you know... 1:30:17.787 --> 1:30:20.165 No, he helps administer the charities now, 1:30:20.248 --> 1:30:22.876 and I give him a reasonable allowance. 1:30:22.959 --> 1:30:24.628 He has no money of his own. 1:30:24.711 --> 1:30:26.421 I know how he likes to present himself. 1:30:26.504 --> 1:30:29.799 Father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut. 1:30:32.052 --> 1:30:33.678 Do you think he... 1:30:35.180 --> 1:30:36.514 What is that, yoga? 1:30:36.598 --> 1:30:38.975 It increases the chances ofconcepflon. 1:30:41.937 --> 1:30:44.439 Increases... Well, yes. 1:30:44.522 --> 1:30:47.484 What did you think this was all about? Fun and games? 1:30:47.567 --> 1:30:49.110 L want a child. 1:30:49.694 --> 1:30:51.529 Okay, yeah, okay. 1:30:51.613 --> 1:30:54.449 But let me... Let me explain something about the Dude. 1:30:54.532 --> 1:30:57.994 Look, Jeffrey, I don't want a partner. 1:30:58.078 --> 1:31:01.790 In fact, I don't want the father to be someone I have to see socially 1:31:01.873 --> 1:31:04.960 or who will have any interest in raising the child himself. 1:31:06.378 --> 1:31:09.881 Oh. So, that doctor... Exactly. 1:31:10.966 --> 1:31:13.843 Now, what happened to your face? 1:31:14.469 --> 1:31:16.596 Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well? 1:31:16.680 --> 1:31:21.977 No, it was the chief of police of Malibu, a real reactionary. 1:31:22.060 --> 1:31:23.812 So, your father... 1:31:25.814 --> 1:31:28.733 Oh, yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. What? 1:31:28.817 --> 1:31:33.238 Oh,man. My thinking about this case has become very uptight. 1:31:33.321 --> 1:31:34.823 Yeah. 1:31:34.906 --> 1:31:36.241 Your father. 1:31:37.242 --> 1:31:40.245 Jeffrey, what are you talking about? 1:31:42.247 --> 1:31:43.248 Jeffrey! 1:31:43.331 --> 1:31:46.126 Walter, if you're there, pick up the fucking phone, man. 1:31:46.209 --> 1:31:48.211 Come on, Walter. 1:31:48.294 --> 1:31:51.506 Pick it up, man. This is an emergency. Dude ? Dude ? 1:31:51.589 --> 1:31:55.552 Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place. I need you to come pick me up. 1:31:55.635 --> 1:31:58.013 I can't drive, Dude- It's Erev shabbos. What? 1:31:58.096 --> 1:31:59.514 Erev shabbos. What? 1:31:59.597 --> 1:32:02.767 Erev shabbos. I can't drive. Man! 1:32:02.851 --> 1:32:05.478 I'm not even supposed to pick up the phone unless it's an emergency. 1:32:05.562 --> 1:32:08.940 This is a fucking emergency! I understand. 1:32:09.024 --> 1:32:10.608 That's why I picked up the phone. 1:32:10.692 --> 1:32:13.987 Walter, you fuck. We gotta go to Pasadena, man. 1:32:14.070 --> 1:32:16.322 Come pick me up or I'm off the fucking bowling team. 1:32:31.963 --> 1:32:34.424 Get out of that fucking car, man! 1:32:35.717 --> 1:32:37.761 Get out of that fucking car! 1:32:37.844 --> 1:32:40.138 Get the fuck out of the car, man. 1:32:42.140 --> 1:32:44.142 Get out of the fucking... 1:32:44.726 --> 1:32:46.561 Who the fuck are you, man? Easy, man! 1:32:46.644 --> 1:32:48.021 Relax, man. 1:32:49.105 --> 1:32:50.774 No physical harm intended. 1:32:50.857 --> 1:32:53.568 Who the fuck are you? Why you following me around? 1:32:53.693 --> 1:32:56.863 Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man. I'm a brother shamus. 1:32:57.864 --> 1:32:59.407 Miner 1:33:01.159 --> 1:33:02.827 Like an Irish monk? 1:33:02.911 --> 1:33:04.788 What the fuck are you talking about? 1:33:04.871 --> 1:33:08.833 My name is Da Fino. I'm a private snoop, like you, man. 1:33:10.126 --> 1:33:12.170 What? A dick, man. 1:33:12.253 --> 1:33:15.381 And let me tell you something, I dig your work. 1:33:15.465 --> 1:33:18.426 Playing one side against the other, in bed with everybody. 1:33:18.510 --> 1:33:20.887 Fabulous stuff, man. I'm not... 1:33:20.970 --> 1:33:23.890 Fuck it, man. Just stay away from my fucking lady friend. 1:33:23.973 --> 1:33:26.518 Hey, I'm not messing with your special lady. 1:33:26.601 --> 1:33:29.104 She's not my special lady. She's my fucking lady friend. 1:33:29.229 --> 1:33:31.981 I'm just helping her conceive, man! Hey, man. I'm not... 1:33:32.065 --> 1:33:34.526 Who are you working for? Lebowski? 1:33:34.609 --> 1:33:36.027 Jackie Treehorn? 1:33:37.862 --> 1:33:39.364 The Kneutsons. 1:33:40.740 --> 1:33:43.368 Who the fuck are the Kneutsons? 1:33:43.451 --> 1:33:47.038 The Kneutsons, it's a wandering daughter job. 1:33:48.414 --> 1:33:50.959 Bunny Lebowski, man. 1:33:51.042 --> 1:33:53.837 Her real name is Fawn Kneutson. 1:33:53.920 --> 1:33:55.880 Her parents want her back, see? 1:33:57.048 --> 1:33:59.008 Jesus fucking Christ. 1:33:59.092 --> 1:34:02.011 Crazy, huh? Ran away about a year ago. 1:34:02.095 --> 1:34:05.807 The Kneutsons told me I should show her this when I found her. 1:34:05.890 --> 1:34:09.435 It's the family farm. It's outside Moorhead, Minnesota. 1:34:09.561 --> 1:34:12.647 They think it'll make her homesick. Oh, boy. 1:34:12.730 --> 1:34:14.357 How are you gonna keep them down on the farm 1:34:14.440 --> 1:34:16.401 once they've seen Karl Hungus? 1:34:17.026 --> 1:34:19.529 She's been kidnapped, DaFWm. Oh,man. 1:34:19.612 --> 1:34:20.822 Or I don't know. Maybe not. 1:34:20.905 --> 1:34:22.490 But she's definitely not around. 1:34:22.574 --> 1:34:26.494 Hey, maybe you and me could pool our resources, 1:34:26.911 --> 1:34:28.746 trade information. 1:34:28.872 --> 1:34:30.665 Professional courtesy? 1:34:31.249 --> 1:34:32.333 Compeers. You know what I mean? 1:34:32.417 --> 1:34:34.961 Yeah, yeah, I get it. Fuck off, Da Fino. 1:34:35.044 --> 1:34:37.172 And stay away from my special... 1:34:37.255 --> 1:34:40.175 From my fucking lady friend, man! 1:34:42.760 --> 1:34:44.679 The lingonberry pancake. 1:34:49.184 --> 1:34:51.311 Lingonberry pancakes. 1:34:54.939 --> 1:34:56.774 Three pigs in blanket. 1:35:02.780 --> 1:35:04.657 She has lingonberry pancakes. 1:35:13.416 --> 1:35:16.711 I mean, we totally fucked it up, man. We fucked up his payoff. 1:35:16.794 --> 1:35:19.005 We got the kidnappers all pissed off. 1:35:19.088 --> 1:35:21.341 And Lebowski, you know, he yelled at me a lot, 1:35:21.424 --> 1:35:23.551 but he didn't do anything, huh? 1:35:23.676 --> 1:35:25.887 Well, sometimes it's a cathartic... No, no. 1:35:25.970 --> 1:35:28.264 I'm saying that if he knows I'm a fuckup, 1:35:28.348 --> 1:35:30.725 why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back? 1:35:30.808 --> 1:35:34.145 Because he doesn't fucking want her back, man. 1:35:34.229 --> 1:35:37.398 He's had enough. He no longer digs her. It's all a show. 1:35:37.482 --> 1:35:41.903 Okay, but then why doesn't he give a shit about his million bucks? 1:35:41.986 --> 1:35:44.656 I mean, he knows we never handed off his briefcase, 1:35:44.822 --> 1:35:46.824 but he never asked for it back. 1:35:46.908 --> 1:35:49.994 The million bucks was never in the briefcase. 1:35:50.662 --> 1:35:53.706 The briefcase was fucking empty, man. 1:35:53.790 --> 1:35:56.459 The asshole was hoping that they would kill her. 1:35:56.542 --> 1:35:59.087 You threw out a ringer for a ringer. 1:35:59.170 --> 1:36:02.924 Okay, but how does all this add up to an emergency? 1:36:03.007 --> 1:36:07.220 I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. 1:36:07.303 --> 1:36:09.138 My point is... 1:36:09.222 --> 1:36:12.433 Here we are, it's shabbos, the Sabbath, 1:36:12.517 --> 1:36:16.562 which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death. 1:36:16.646 --> 1:36:19.983 VVill you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man. 1:36:20.066 --> 1:36:21.734 What the fuck are you talking about? 1:36:21.818 --> 1:36:23.194 Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic! 1:36:23.278 --> 1:36:24.904 What the fuck are you talking about? 1:36:24.988 --> 1:36:27.115 I converted when I married Cynthia. Come on, Dude. 1:36:27.198 --> 1:36:29.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know this. 1:36:29.284 --> 1:36:31.536 And five fucking years ago, you were divorced. 1:36:31.619 --> 1:36:33.121 So what are you saying? When you get divorced, 1:36:33.204 --> 1:36:35.331 you turn in your library card? You get a new license? 1:36:35.415 --> 1:36:38.501 You stop being Jewish? This is the driveway. 1:36:38.584 --> 1:36:40.628 Jewish as fucking Tevye. Man. 1:36:40.712 --> 1:36:44.966 You know, it's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing. 1:36:45.049 --> 1:36:48.970 Man, taking care of her fucking dog, going to her fucking synagogue. 1:36:49.053 --> 1:36:50.888 You're living in the fucking past. 1:36:50.972 --> 1:36:54.309 Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax. 1:36:54.392 --> 1:36:57.353 You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past! 1:36:57.437 --> 1:36:59.564 I've... Jesus. 1:37:00.815 --> 1:37:02.734 What the hell happened? 1:37:03.651 --> 1:37:06.487 So viva Las Vegas 1:37:07.905 --> 1:37:10.825 Viva Las Vegas 1:37:15.747 --> 1:37:17.749 Let's go. Fuck it. 1:37:22.086 --> 1:37:23.504 Where was she, man? 1:37:23.588 --> 1:37:25.590 Visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs. 1:37:25.673 --> 1:37:28.092 She just picked up and left, never bothered to tell us. 1:37:28.176 --> 1:37:30.678 Well,I guess the fucking nihilists knew where she was. 1:37:30.762 --> 1:37:32.930 Jesus, Dude. She never even kidnapped herself. 1:37:33.056 --> 1:37:36.392 Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran. 1:37:36.476 --> 1:37:37.685 Come on! That's who I am. 1:37:37.769 --> 1:37:40.313 You shouldn't go in there, Dude. He's very angry. 1:37:42.648 --> 1:37:44.025 So, man. 1:37:44.108 --> 1:37:47.904 So? She's back, no thanks to you. 1:37:47.987 --> 1:37:50.365 Where's the fucking money, Lebowski? 1:37:50.448 --> 1:37:53.785 A million bucks from fucking, needy, little Urban Achievers! 1:37:53.868 --> 1:37:55.370 You are scum, man! 1:37:55.453 --> 1:37:57.705 Who the hell is he? Who am I? Who am I? 1:37:57.789 --> 1:37:59.374 Walter. I'm the guy that's gonna kick your phony, 1:37:59.457 --> 1:38:00.792 gold-bricking ass, that's who I am. Man. 1:38:00.875 --> 1:38:02.710 We know the briefcase was fucking empty. 1:38:02.794 --> 1:38:04.837 We know you kept the million bucks for yourself. 1:38:04.921 --> 1:38:06.506 You have your story, I have mine. 1:38:06.589 --> 1:38:09.884 I say I entrusted the money to you and you stole it. 1:38:09.967 --> 1:38:13.179 As if we would ever dream of taking your bullshit money! 1:38:13.262 --> 1:38:15.473 You thought that Bunny had been kidnapped, 1:38:15.556 --> 1:38:17.141 and you were fucking glad, man. 1:38:17.225 --> 1:38:19.477 You could use it as an excuse to make some money disappear. 1:38:19.560 --> 1:38:22.855 All you needed was a sap to pin it on. You just met me. 1:38:22.939 --> 1:38:25.858 You... You human paraquat. 1:38:25.942 --> 1:38:29.404 You figured, "Oh, here's a loser, you know, a deadbeat. 1:38:29.487 --> 1:38:32.073 "Somebody this square community won't give a shit about." 1:38:32.156 --> 1:38:33.741 Well, aren't you? 1:38:34.992 --> 1:38:38.746 Well, yeah, but... Get out, both of you. 1:38:38.830 --> 1:38:42.083 Look at that fucking phony, Dude, pretending to be a fucking millionaire. 1:38:42.166 --> 1:38:44.460 Out of this house now, you bums! 1:38:44.544 --> 1:38:46.129 Let me tell you something else. 1:38:46.212 --> 1:38:49.966 I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this guy's a fake. 1:38:50.675 --> 1:38:53.845 A fucking gold-bricker. Stay away from me, mister! 1:38:53.928 --> 1:38:55.596 This guy fucking walks. 1:38:55.680 --> 1:38:58.015 I've never been more certain of anything in my life. 1:38:58.099 --> 1:38:59.267 You stay away from me! 1:38:59.350 --> 1:39:01.769 Walter, for Christ's sake, man! He's a cripple. 1:39:01.853 --> 1:39:03.563 I said! Get away from me! Come on. Come on. 1:39:03.729 --> 1:39:07.191 Walter, put him down, man! 1:39:07.275 --> 1:39:10.945 Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude. Walk! Achtung, baby! 1:39:28.212 --> 1:39:31.340 Come on, man. Help me put him back in his chair. 1:39:35.261 --> 1:39:37.263 At least they had the fucking decency to tell us 1:39:37.346 --> 1:39:39.724 that we were fighting the communists. 1:39:42.226 --> 1:39:45.646 Whereas this whole fucking thing, this whole fucking thing 1:39:45.730 --> 1:39:48.566 is nothing about nothing, about oil, 1:39:48.649 --> 1:39:50.985 which is what I personally hear, Dude. 1:39:51.068 --> 1:39:53.362 Sure you'll see some tank battles, 1:39:53.446 --> 1:39:56.991 but fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopyjungle. 1:39:58.075 --> 1:40:01.496 I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's war, whereas this thing should... 1:40:02.455 --> 1:40:04.707 You know, should be a piece of cake. 1:40:04.790 --> 1:40:08.211 I mean, I had an M16, Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. 1:40:08.336 --> 1:40:11.714 Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball. Yeah. 1:40:11.797 --> 1:40:14.133 That's fucking combat. 1:40:14.217 --> 1:40:17.094 The man in the black pajamas, Dude. 1:40:17.178 --> 1:40:19.055 Worthy fucking adversary. 1:40:19.138 --> 1:40:22.558 Who's in pajamas, Walter? Shut the fuck up, Donny. 1:40:22.642 --> 1:40:24.852 Whereas what we have here, 1:40:24.936 --> 1:40:27.104 a bunch of fig eaters wearing towels on their head, 1:40:27.188 --> 1:40:29.357 trying to find reverse on a Soviet tank. 1:40:30.233 --> 1:40:32.401 - This is not a worthy fucking adversary. - Hey! 1:40:32.485 --> 1:40:34.529 What's this day-of-rest shit? 1:40:34.612 --> 1:40:36.197 What's this bullshit? 1:40:36.280 --> 1:40:39.325 I don't fucking care! It don't matter to Jesus. 1:40:39.408 --> 1:40:40.868 But you not fooling me, man. 1:40:40.952 --> 1:40:43.663 You might fool the fucks in the league office 1:40:43.746 --> 1:40:46.040 but you don't fool Jesus. 1:40:46.207 --> 1:40:48.918 It's Bush league psych-out stuff. 1:40:49.001 --> 1:40:50.419 Laughable, man! 1:40:51.587 --> 1:40:54.674 I would've fucked you in the ass Saturday. 1:40:55.424 --> 1:40:58.344 I'll fuck you in the ass next Wednesday instead. 1:40:59.804 --> 1:41:02.265 You got a date VVednesday,baby! 1:41:07.144 --> 1:41:08.312 He's cracking. 1:41:08.396 --> 1:41:10.106 ...the whole concept of age. 1:41:10.189 --> 1:41:12.400 I mean, many learned men have disputed this 1:41:12.483 --> 1:41:15.319 but in the 14th century, the Rambam... 1:41:25.329 --> 1:41:27.540 Well, they finally did it. 1:41:27.623 --> 1:41:29.750 They killed my fucking car. 1:41:29.834 --> 1:41:33.421 We want the money, Lebowski. 1:41:33.504 --> 1:41:36.007 Ja. Otherwise, we kill the girl. 1:41:36.090 --> 1:41:39.594 Ja- It seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski. 1:41:39.677 --> 1:41:42.430 You don't have the fucking girl, dipshit. 1:41:42.513 --> 1:41:44.765 We know you never did. 1:41:44.849 --> 1:41:46.434 Are these the Nazis, Walter? 1:41:46.517 --> 1:41:48.227 No, Donny. These men are nihilists. 1:41:48.311 --> 1:41:49.729 There's nothing to be afraid of. 1:41:51.397 --> 1:41:52.481 We don't care. 1:41:52.565 --> 1:41:57.028 We still want the money, Lebowski, or we fuck you up. 1:41:57.111 --> 1:41:59.780 Fuck you. Fuck the three of you. Cool it, Walter. 1:41:59.864 --> 1:42:03.701 No. Without a hostage, there is no ransom. 1:42:03.784 --> 1:42:07.121 That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules. 1:42:07.204 --> 1:42:09.540 His girlfriend gave up her toe. 1:42:09.624 --> 1:42:11.959 She thought we could get $1 million. 1:42:12.043 --> 1:42:14.545 It's not fair. Fair? 1:42:14.629 --> 1:42:18.257 V\Iho's the fucking nihilists around here, you bunch of fucking crybabies? 1:42:18.341 --> 1:42:20.718 Cool it, Walter. Hey, look, pal. 1:42:20.801 --> 1:42:22.511 There never was any money. 1:42:22.595 --> 1:42:24.722 The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, 1:42:24.805 --> 1:42:26.849 so take it up with him, man. 1:42:26.932 --> 1:42:29.477 And I would like my undies back. 1:42:29.560 --> 1:42:30.770 Are these guys gonna hurt us, Walter? 1:42:30.853 --> 1:42:33.314 No, Donny. These men are cowards. 1:42:33.397 --> 1:42:34.690 Okay! 1:42:34.774 --> 1:42:38.319 So we takes the money you have on you, and we calls it even. 1:42:39.737 --> 1:42:41.781 Fuck you. Hey, no. Come on, Walter. 1:42:41.864 --> 1:42:43.866 Come on, we're ending this thing cheap, man. 1:42:43.949 --> 1:42:46.535 No. What's mine is mine. No, come on, Walter. 1:42:46.619 --> 1:42:48.829 No funny stuff. All right. All right. 1:42:48.913 --> 1:42:53.668 No funny stuff. I got 4 bucks, almost 5. 1:42:53.751 --> 1:42:56.337 - Igot$18. - What's mine is mine. 1:42:56.420 --> 1:42:59.548 We fuck you up, man! We takes the money! 1:43:00.091 --> 1:43:01.425 Come and get it. 1:43:02.760 --> 1:43:07.014 We fuck you up! Show me what you got, nihilists. 1:43:07.098 --> 1:43:09.558 I fuck you! Walter, come on. He's got a sword. 1:43:09.642 --> 1:43:11.852 Fucking dipshit with a nine-toed woman! 1:43:11.936 --> 1:43:15.773 I fuck you! Fuck you! I fuck you! 1:43:21.946 --> 1:43:23.614 Take it easy, man. I fuck you! 1:43:23.698 --> 1:43:25.616 Take the $4. I fuck you! 1:43:29.954 --> 1:43:30.996 I fuck you! 1:43:31.080 --> 1:43:32.957 I'm gonna hit you with the fucking ball, man. 1:43:37.712 --> 1:43:39.839 Hey, dickhead! Anti-Semite. 1:43:40.798 --> 1:43:43.509 I fuck you in the ass! I fuck you in the ass! 1:43:43.592 --> 1:43:46.721 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1:43:46.804 --> 1:43:48.806 I fuck you! I fuck you! 1:43:55.062 --> 1:43:57.022 We got a man down, Dude! 1:44:00.735 --> 1:44:01.944 Oh, God. They shot him, man. 1:44:02.027 --> 1:44:04.238 He's not shot. No, Dude. Are you shot, Donny? 1:44:04.363 --> 1:44:06.657 There weren't any shots fired. Huh? 1:44:06.741 --> 1:44:09.994 It's a heart attack. Call the medics, Dude. 1:44:10.536 --> 1:44:13.372 I'd go myself, but I'm pumping blood, might pass out. 1:44:13.456 --> 1:44:16.751 Rest easy, good buddy. You're doing fine. 1:44:16.834 --> 1:44:19.253 We got help choppering in. 1:44:46.781 --> 1:44:48.449 Hello, gentlemen. 1:44:48.532 --> 1:44:50.785 You are the bereaved? Yeah, man. 1:44:51.452 --> 1:44:54.121 Francis Donnelly, pleased to meet you. 1:44:54.205 --> 1:44:56.499 Jeff Lebowski. Walter Sobchak. 1:44:56.582 --> 1:44:58.834 The Dude actually is... 1:44:59.877 --> 1:45:01.796 Excuse me? Oh, nothing. 1:45:03.631 --> 1:45:08.302 Yes. I understand you're taking away the remains? 1:45:08.385 --> 1:45:09.553 Yeah. 1:45:10.304 --> 1:45:12.097 We have the urn. 1:45:13.474 --> 1:45:15.684 I assume this is credit card? 1:45:16.894 --> 1:45:17.978 Yeah. 1:45:32.660 --> 1:45:34.078 What's this? 1:45:34.829 --> 1:45:36.497 Now, that's for the urn. 1:45:36.580 --> 1:45:38.582 Don't need it. We're scattering the ashes. 1:45:39.375 --> 1:45:42.002 Yes. So we were informed. 1:45:42.086 --> 1:45:45.840 However, we must, of course, transmit the remains to you 1:45:45.923 --> 1:45:47.508 in a receptacle. 1:45:48.759 --> 1:45:50.553 That's $180. 1:45:50.886 --> 1:45:54.807 It is our most modestly priced receptacle. 1:45:55.140 --> 1:45:57.309 Well, can't we just... $180? 1:45:57.393 --> 1:45:59.395 They range up to $3,000. 1:46:00.187 --> 1:46:03.315 We're... Can't we just rent it from you, you know? 1:46:03.399 --> 1:46:06.193 Sir, this is a mortuary not a rental house. 1:46:06.318 --> 1:46:08.654 V\Ie're scattering the fucking ashes! Walter, Walter. 1:46:08.737 --> 1:46:11.240 Just because we're bereaved doesn't make us saps. 1:46:11.323 --> 1:46:13.701 Sir, please lower your voices. 1:46:13.784 --> 1:46:17.872 Man, don't you have, you know, something else we can put him in? 1:46:17.955 --> 1:46:18.998 You know? 1:46:19.081 --> 1:46:22.126 That is our most modestly priced receptacle. 1:46:22.418 --> 1:46:24.003 God damn it! 1:46:26.130 --> 1:46:27.798 Is there a Ralph's around here? 1:46:54.825 --> 1:46:57.494 Donny was a good bowler and a good man. 1:46:58.746 --> 1:47:00.873 He was one of us. 1:47:00.956 --> 1:47:04.877 He was a man who loved the outdoors and bowling. 1:47:05.002 --> 1:47:08.756 And as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California 1:47:08.839 --> 1:47:11.634 from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo 1:47:11.717 --> 1:47:14.303 and up to Pismo. 1:47:15.095 --> 1:47:16.347 He died... 1:47:17.348 --> 1:47:21.435 He died as so many young men of his generation, before his time. 1:47:21.518 --> 1:47:24.688 In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, 1:47:24.813 --> 1:47:28.108 as you took so many bright, flowering young men 1:47:28.192 --> 1:47:31.028 at Khe Sanh, at Ian Doc, 1:47:31.111 --> 1:47:32.863 at Hill 364. 1:47:34.156 --> 1:47:36.533 These young men gave their lives, 1:47:37.117 --> 1:47:38.577 and so did Donny. 1:47:40.704 --> 1:47:42.706 Donny, who loved bowling. 1:47:45.751 --> 1:47:46.752 And so, 1:47:48.379 --> 1:47:50.756 Theodore Donald Kerabatsos, 1:47:52.049 --> 1:47:57.179 in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, 1:47:58.514 --> 1:48:01.308 we commit your final mortal remains 1:48:02.226 --> 1:48:04.603 to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean 1:48:06.063 --> 1:48:08.065 which you loved so well. 1:48:10.401 --> 1:48:12.486 Good night, sweet prince. 1:48:27.626 --> 1:48:29.044 Shit. 1:48:30.963 --> 1:48:33.007 Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry. 1:48:34.800 --> 1:48:37.928 Goddamn wind. Fuck, god damn it, Walter! 1:48:38.012 --> 1:48:40.305 You fucking asshole! Shit, Dude. I'm sorry. 1:48:40.389 --> 1:48:42.599 Everything's a fucking travesty with you, man! 1:48:42.683 --> 1:48:44.268 I'm sorry. It was an accident. 1:48:44.351 --> 1:48:46.854 What was that shit about Vietnam? Dude, I'm sorry. 1:48:46.937 --> 1:48:49.231 What the fuck does anything have to do with Vietnam? 1:48:49.314 --> 1:48:51.316 Dude, I'm sorry. What the fuck are you talking about? 1:48:51.400 --> 1:48:52.985 Dude, I'm sorry. 1:48:55.904 --> 1:48:57.114 Fucking... 1:49:04.121 --> 1:49:05.581 Fuck, Walter. 1:49:07.458 --> 1:49:08.959 Come on, Dude. 1:49:09.793 --> 1:49:11.462 Hey, fuck it, man. 1:49:15.382 --> 1:49:17.009 Let's go bowling. 1:49:40.491 --> 1:49:43.827 And when you're sittin' there 1:49:44.453 --> 1:49:47.581 In your silk upholstered chair 1:49:49.083 --> 1:49:53.128 Talkin' to some rich folks that you know 1:49:56.465 --> 1:49:59.301 Well, I hope you don't see me 1:50:00.302 --> 1:50:03.514 In my ragged company 1:50:04.306 --> 1:50:09.353 Oh, but you know I could never be alone 1:50:11.522 --> 1:50:14.525 Two oat sodas, Gary. Right. Good luck tomorrow. 1:50:14.608 --> 1:50:18.070 Yeah, thanks, man. I was sorry to hear about Donny. 1:50:18.153 --> 1:50:21.031 Oh, yeah. Well, you know, 1:50:21.865 --> 1:50:25.828 sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes, you know... 1:50:25.911 --> 1:50:27.204 Hey, man. 1:50:27.996 --> 1:50:31.166 How do you do, Dude? I wondered if I'd see you again. 1:50:31.250 --> 1:50:33.293 I wouldn't miss the semis. 1:50:33.377 --> 1:50:35.003 Oh, yeah? How's things been going? 1:50:35.087 --> 1:50:38.215 Well, you know, strikes and gutters, ups and downs. 1:50:38.298 --> 1:50:41.009 Sure. I got you. Yeah. 1:50:42.553 --> 1:50:43.595 Thanks, Gary. 1:50:43.679 --> 1:50:46.014 Well, take care, man. Gotta get back. 1:50:46.098 --> 1:50:49.143 Sure. Take it easy, Dude. Oh, yeah. 1:50:49.226 --> 1:50:51.311 I know that you will. 1:50:51.395 --> 1:50:54.731 Yeah. Well, the Dude abides. 1:50:58.735 --> 1:50:59.945 Walter. 1:51:01.655 --> 1:51:03.615 The Dude abides. 1:51:07.536 --> 1:51:10.873 I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. 1:51:12.166 --> 1:51:14.376 It's good knowing he's out there, 1:51:14.459 --> 1:51:18.547 the Dude, taking her easy for all us sinners. 1:51:21.258 --> 1:51:23.427 I sure hope he makes the finals. 1:51:25.053 --> 1:51:27.181 Well, that about does her. 1:51:27.264 --> 1:51:28.765 Wraps her all up. 1:51:30.350 --> 1:51:33.812 Things seem to have worked out pretty good for the Dude and Walter. 1:51:34.479 --> 1:51:37.774 And it was a pretty good story, don't you think? 1:51:38.609 --> 1:51:40.944 Made me laugh to beat the band. 1:51:41.612 --> 1:51:43.071 Parts anyway. 1:51:44.615 --> 1:51:46.783 I didn't like seeing Donny go. 1:51:47.910 --> 1:51:52.956 But then I happen to know that there's a little Lebowski on the way. 1:51:54.625 --> 1:51:57.961 I guess that's the way the whole darned human comedy keeps 1:51:58.503 --> 1:52:00.839 perpetuating itself 1:52:00.923 --> 1:52:03.091 down through the generations. 1:52:03.592 --> 1:52:07.846 Westward the wagons, across the sands of time until we... 1:52:09.056 --> 1:52:12.267 Oh, look at me. I'm rambling again. 1:52:13.644 --> 1:52:16.146 Well, I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. 1:52:16.647 --> 1:52:18.982 Catch you later on down the trail. 1:52:20.150 --> 1:52:23.278 Say, friend, you got any more of that good sarsaparilla? 1:52:46.218 --> 1:52:50.222 Take me down, little Susie 1:52:50.305 --> 1:52:52.140 Take me down 1:52:55.435 --> 1:52:57.938 I know you think you're the queen 1:52:58.021 --> 1:53:00.148 Of the underground 1:53:03.860 --> 1:53:08.824 Send me dead flowers every morning 1:53:12.202 --> 1:53:16.707 Send me dead flowers by the mail 1:53:20.502 --> 1:53:24.965 Send me dead flowers to my wedding 1:53:27.509 --> 1:53:34.474 And I won't forget to put roses on your grave 1:53:35.767 --> 1:53:40.105 No, I won't forget to put roses 1:53:40.188 --> 1:53:44.484 On your grave 1:54:09.593 --> 1:54:14.139 Bright light city gonna set my soul 1:54:14.598 --> 1:54:18.310 Gonna set my soul on fire 1:54:19.644 --> 1:54:24.775 Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn 1:54:24.858 --> 1:54:28.487 So get those stakes up higher 1:54:30.072 --> 1:54:34.826 There's a thousand pretty women livin' out there 1:54:35.577 --> 1:54:40.665 They're all livin' devil may care 1:54:40.749 --> 1:54:45.212 And I'm just a devil with love to spare 1:54:45.295 --> 1:54:49.549 So viva Las Vegas 1:54:51.093 --> 1:54:55.138 Viva Las Vegas 1:54:58.850 --> 1:55:03.522 Viva Las Vegas with your neon flashing 1:55:03.605 --> 1:55:06.566 And your one-arm bandits crashing 1:55:06.650 --> 1:55:10.237 All those hopes down the drain 1:55:11.822 --> 1:55:16.993 Viva Las Vegas turnin' day into nighttime 1:55:17.077 --> 1:55:19.579 Night into daytime 1:55:19.663 --> 1:55:21.832 If you see it once 1:55:21.915 --> 1:55:28.338 You'll never be the same again 1:55:30.382 --> 1:55:34.845 I'm gonna keep on keep on runnin' 1:55:34.928 --> 1:55:38.682 If it costs me my very last dime 1:55:40.183 --> 1:55:42.519 If I wind up broke 1:55:42.602 --> 1:55:44.813 Well, I'll always remember 1:55:44.896 --> 1:55:48.942 That I had a swingin' time 1:55:50.777 --> 1:55:54.865 I'm gonna give it everything I've got 1:55:55.991 --> 1:56:00.203 Lady Luck, please let the dice stay hot 1:56:01.121 --> 1:56:05.625 Let me shoot a seven on every shot 1:56:05.709 --> 1:56:09.921 So viva Las Vegas 1:56:11.465 --> 1:56:15.218 Viva Las Vegas 1:56:16.595 --> 1:56:20.807 Viva Las Vegas 1:56:21.683 --> 1:56:23.560 Viva 1:56:24.561 --> 1:56:26.062 Viva 1:56:27.022 --> 1:56:28.523 Viva 1:56:29.608 --> 1:56:32.861 Viva 1:56:34.112 --> 1:56:40.911 Las Vegas 1:56:45.248 --> 1:56:48.585 Viva