WEBVTT
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See them tumbling down
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Pledging their love
to the ground
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Way out West
there was this fella.
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Fella I wanna tell you about.
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Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.
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Least that was the handle that
his loving parents gave him.
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But he never had
much use for it himself.
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This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.
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Now Dude,
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that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.
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But then there was a lot about the Dude that
didn't make a whole lot of sense to me,
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and a lot about
where he lived likewise.
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Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweeds
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But then again,
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maybe that's why I found the
place so darned interesting.
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I know when night has gone
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That a new world's
born at dawn
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They call Los
Angeles the City of Angels.
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I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.
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But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.
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Course, I can't say
I seen London,
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and I never been to France,
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and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.
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But I'll tell you what,
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after seeing Los Angeles and this
here story I'm about to unfold,
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well, I guess
I've seen something
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every bit as stupefying as you can
see in any of those other places,
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and in English, too.
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So I can die with
a smile on my face
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without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.
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Now, this here story
I'm about to unfold
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took place back
in the early '90s,
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just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.
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I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...
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I won't say a hero.
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'Cause what's a hero?
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But sometimes there's a man...
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And I'm talking about
the Dude here.
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Sometimes there's a man...
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Well, he's the man
for his time and place.
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He fits right in there.
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And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.
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And even if he is a lazy man,
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and the Dude was
most certainly that,
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quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,
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which would place him high in the
running for laziest worldwide.
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But sometimes there's a man...
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Sometimes there's a man...
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Well, I lost my train
of thought here.
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But...
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Hell, I done introduced him
enough.
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...with them all
for a collective action.
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This will not stand.
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This will not stand, this
aggression against Kuwait.
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Here on the range I belong
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Drifting along
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With the tumbling
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Tumbleweeds
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Where's the money,
Lebowski?
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I want that money,
Lebowski.
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Bunny says you're
good for it.
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Where's the money,
Lebowski?
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Where's the money,
Lebowski?
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Where's the fucking money,
shithead?
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It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.
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Don't fuck with us.
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Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,
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that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.
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Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.
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No, don't do...
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- Not on the rug, man.
- See?
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See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?
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Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.
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I'm the Dude, man.
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Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.
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Your wife is Bunny.
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My wife? Bunny?
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Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?
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Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?
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The toilet seat's up, man!
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What the fuck is this?
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Obviously you're
not a golfer.
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Woo?
Yeah.
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Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?
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Fuck.
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Yeah. What do you think?
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He looks like
a fucking loser.
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Hey, at least I'm housebroken.
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Fucking time-waster.
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Thanks a lot,
asshole.
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La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
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La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
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La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia-Ia Ia-Ia
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La, Ia, Ia-Ia
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La-Ia-Ia
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La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
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La-Ia, Ia-Ia
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The man in me will do
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Nearly any task
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And as for compensation
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There's little he would ask
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Take a woman like you
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To get through
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To the man in me
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Storm clouds are raging
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All around my door
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I think to myself
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I might not take it anymore
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Take a woman like your kind
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To find the man in me
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But, oh
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What a wonderful feeling
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Just to know that you are near
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Sets my heart a-reeling
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From my toes
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Up to my ears
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The man in me will
hide sometimes
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To keep from being seen
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But that's just because
he doesn't want
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To turn into some machine
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Take a woman like you
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To get through
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To the man in me
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I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.
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I'm telling you, this
was a valued rug. This was a...
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Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.
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This was
a valued...
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What tied the room together, Dude?
My rug.
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Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?
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What?
Walter.
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Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling.
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So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.
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You're like a child who wanders into the
middle of a movie and wants to know...
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Walter, what's the point, man? There's
no reason, here's my point, Dude.
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There's no fucking reason
why these two...
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Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?
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Walter, what is the...
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Look, we all know
who is at fault here.
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What the fuck are you
talking about? Huh?
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No, what the fuck
are you... I'm not...
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We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.
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What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.
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Forget it, Donny! You're
out of your element!
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Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,
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I can't go
give him a bill!
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So what the fuck
are you talking about?
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What the fuck are
you talking about?
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The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!
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I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.
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Across this line
you do not...
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Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not
the preferred nomenclature.
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Asian-American,
please.
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Walter, this isn't a guy who built
the railroads here. This is a guy...
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What the fuck
are you...
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Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on the Dude's rug.
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Donny, you're out
of your element.
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Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.
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So, who...
Jeff Lebowski.
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The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.
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That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.
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Plus, he has the wealth,
obviously, and the resources,
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so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reason
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why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,
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and then they come and they
pee on your fucking rug!
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Am I wrong?
No.
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Am I wrong?
Yeah, but...
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Okay then.
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That rug really tied the
room together, did it not?
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Fucking A.
And this guy peed on it.
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Donny, please.
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You know, this is
the fucking guy...
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I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.
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His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.
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This is the guy who should
compensate me for the fucking rug.
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His wife goes out and owes money all
over town, and they pee on my rug?
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They pee on
your fucking rug?
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Peed on my fucking rug.
That's right, Dude.
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They peed on
your fucking rug.
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This is the study.
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As you can see, the various
commendations, awards...
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"Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations,
honorary degrees, et cetera.
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Very impressive. Oh, please
feel free to inspect them.
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Oh. No, I'm not really...
Oh, please. Please.
10:17.367 --> 10:19.285
That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,
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which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago
in recognition of his various civic...
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Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber
of Commerce Business Achiever Award,
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which is given... Oh, not
necessarily given every year.
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Hey, is this...
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Given only when there's
a worthy somebody...
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ls this him with Nancy?
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Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski
with the first lady, yes.
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It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan...
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That's Lebowski
on the left there?
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Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left...
So he's a...
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You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?
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Mr. Lebowski is
disabled, yes.
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This picture was taken when Mrs.
Reagan was first lady of the nation.
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Yes, yes.
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Not of California.
Good shot.
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In fact, he met privately
with the President,
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though, unfortunately, there wasn't
enough time for a photo opportunity.
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Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman.
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We were very happy to...
These are...
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Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's
children, so to speak.
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Different mothers, huh?
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No, they're not... Racially,
he's pretty cool?
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They're not literally
his children.
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They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,
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inner city children of promise, but
without the necessary means for...
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Necessary means for
a higher education,
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so Mr. Lebowski is committed to
sending all of them to college.
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Excuse me.
Oh, geez.
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Far out. Think he's got room
for one more? One... Oh.
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You never went to college.
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Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, I did,
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but, you know,
I spent most of my time
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occupying various
administration buildings,
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smoking a lot
of Thai stick,
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breaking into
the ROTC and bowling.
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Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.
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Okay, sir. You're a
Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski.
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That's terrific.
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But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.
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What can I do for you, sir?
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Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.
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It really tied
the room together.
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You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
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Where do I fit in?
12:21.658 --> 12:24.911
Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.
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You know, they...
I'll say it again.
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You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
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I know what happened.
Yes, yes.
12:32.377 --> 12:35.588
Oh, so you know that they were
trying to piss on your rug.
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Did I urinate on your rug?
12:37.966 --> 12:40.218
You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?
12:40.301 --> 12:42.262
Hello! Do you speak
English, sir?
12:42.345 --> 12:44.222
G, Parla usted inglés?
12:44.305 --> 12:47.183
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
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No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
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I just want to
understand this, sir.
12:52.438 --> 12:56.359
Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,
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I have to compensate
the person?
12:58.278 --> 13:01.489
Come on, man. I'm not trying
to scam anybody here.
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You know, I'm just...
13:03.491 --> 13:07.036
You're just looking for
a handout like every other...
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Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
13:11.165 --> 13:14.085
Wait. Let me explain
something to you.
13:14.168 --> 13:16.004
I am not Mr. Lebowski.
13:16.087 --> 13:19.048
You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.
13:19.132 --> 13:21.634
So that's what you call me.
You know?
13:21.718 --> 13:23.803
That or His Dudeness,
13:23.886 --> 13:26.347
or Duder or, you know,
13:26.431 --> 13:29.475
El Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.
13:29.559 --> 13:31.561
Are you employed, sir?
13:32.937 --> 13:34.230
Employed?
13:35.398 --> 13:40.153
You don't go out looking for a job
dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?
13:40.236 --> 13:41.612
Is this a...
13:41.696 --> 13:44.824
What day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.
13:44.907 --> 13:49.078
So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind.
The Dude minds.
13:49.162 --> 13:50.913
This will not stand, you know.
13:50.997 --> 13:53.499
This aggression
will not stand, man.
13:53.583 --> 13:55.335
I mean,
your wife owes money...
13:55.418 --> 13:58.379
My wife is not
the issue here!
13:58.463 --> 14:01.841
I hope that someday my wife will
learn to live on her allowance,
14:01.924 --> 14:03.343
which is ample.
14:03.426 --> 14:06.262
But if she does not, that
is her problem, not mine,
14:06.346 --> 14:07.972
just as the rug
is your problem.
14:08.056 --> 14:12.018
Just as every bum's lot in life
is his own responsibility,
14:12.101 --> 14:14.812
regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
14:14.896 --> 14:17.982
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
14:18.066 --> 14:20.526
Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
14:20.610 --> 14:23.029
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
14:24.322 --> 14:27.492
I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.
14:29.619 --> 14:32.038
Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
14:32.121 --> 14:35.208
Yes, that's your answer. That's
your answer to everything.
14:35.291 --> 14:37.043
Tattoo it on your forehead!
14:37.126 --> 14:39.587
Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!
14:39.670 --> 14:42.924
Condolences! The bums lost!
14:43.007 --> 14:46.219
My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
14:46.302 --> 14:48.096
Get a job, sir!
14:48.179 --> 14:50.723
The bums will
always lose!
14:50.807 --> 14:52.558
Do you hear me,
Lebowski?
14:52.642 --> 14:55.061
The bums will
always lose.
14:56.312 --> 14:58.606
How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?
14:58.689 --> 15:00.191
Okay»
15:00.274 --> 15:02.777
The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.
15:03.569 --> 15:05.113
Well, enjoy.
15:05.196 --> 15:07.740
And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.
15:07.824 --> 15:08.950
Yeah, sure.
15:09.033 --> 15:11.911
If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,
15:13.413 --> 15:15.581
and I need to use the john.
15:26.217 --> 15:28.386
Blow on them.
Huh?
15:28.845 --> 15:30.721
Go ahead. Blow.
15:32.473 --> 15:35.852
You want me to blow
on your toes?
15:36.352 --> 15:37.520
Uh-huh.
15:38.104 --> 15:40.022
I can't blow that far.
15:46.237 --> 15:48.281
Are you sure he won't mind?
15:48.364 --> 15:51.451
Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.
15:51.534 --> 15:53.786
Oh, that must be exhausting.
15:53.870 --> 15:55.621
You're not blowing.
15:55.705 --> 15:58.458
Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs.
Lebowski.
15:58.541 --> 15:59.959
Oh!
16:00.460 --> 16:01.919
You're Bunny.
16:03.212 --> 16:05.381
I'll suck your cock
for $1,000.
16:10.094 --> 16:11.721
Wonderful woman.
16:11.804 --> 16:13.931
We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.
16:14.015 --> 16:16.726
Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.
16:18.227 --> 16:19.896
That's marvelous.
16:22.231 --> 16:24.901
I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.
16:29.530 --> 16:31.574
I'm slamming them tonight!
16:32.200 --> 16:33.951
You guys are dead
in the water.
16:34.035 --> 16:36.996
All right!
Way to go, Donny!
16:38.039 --> 16:40.416
"lf you
will it, it is no dream."
16:40.500 --> 16:43.920
Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?
16:44.003 --> 16:46.005
Theodore Herzl.
Huh?
16:46.088 --> 16:49.175
State of Israel. If you will
it, Dude, it is no dream.
16:49.258 --> 16:51.135
What the fuck are you
talking about, man?
16:51.260 --> 16:54.096
The carrier. What's in the
fucking carrier? Huh?
16:54.222 --> 16:57.141
Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.
16:57.225 --> 16:59.227
Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.
16:59.310 --> 17:02.063
I'm watching it while Cynthia and
Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
17:02.146 --> 17:04.065
You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?
17:04.148 --> 17:05.691
What do you mean,
brought it bowling?
17:05.775 --> 17:08.778
I didn't rent it shoes. I'm
not buying it a fucking beer.
17:08.861 --> 17:10.947
He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.
17:11.030 --> 17:14.367
Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked
me to take care of her fucking dog
17:14.450 --> 17:16.202
while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,
17:16.285 --> 17:18.871
I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?
17:18.955 --> 17:20.790
First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.
17:20.873 --> 17:24.043
Secondly, this is a fucking
show dog with fucking papers.
17:24.126 --> 17:26.837
You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out.
17:26.963 --> 17:29.257
Walter... Fucking dog
has fucking papers.
17:29.340 --> 17:32.009
Over the line!
Huh?
17:32.093 --> 17:34.428
I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line.
That's a foul.
17:34.512 --> 17:36.180
Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.
17:36.264 --> 17:39.392
Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.
17:39.475 --> 17:42.395
Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.
17:42.478 --> 17:45.064
Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling.
There are rules.
17:45.147 --> 17:47.900
Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.
17:47.984 --> 17:50.152
So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.
17:50.236 --> 17:52.405
It's just a game, man.
This is a league game.
17:52.488 --> 17:54.407
This determines who enters
the next round robin.
17:54.490 --> 17:56.242
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't...
17:56.325 --> 17:58.869
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't over.
17:58.953 --> 18:01.664
Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.
18:01.747 --> 18:03.499
Smokey, my friend,
18:04.333 --> 18:07.295
you're entering a world of pain.
Walter, man.
18:07.378 --> 18:11.090
You mark that frame an eight,
you're entering a world of pain.
18:11.173 --> 18:13.759
I'm not...
A world of pain.
18:13.843 --> 18:15.928
Look,Dude,
this is your partner.
18:16.012 --> 18:18.389
Has the whole world
gone crazy?
18:18.472 --> 18:21.225
Am I the only one around here who
gives a shit about the rules?
18:21.350 --> 18:22.560
Mark it zero!
18:22.643 --> 18:24.729
They're calling the
cops, man. Put the piece away.
18:24.854 --> 18:27.898
Mark it zero! DUDE: Walter,
put the piece away.
18:27.982 --> 18:30.192
Walter. You think I'm
fucking around here?
18:30.276 --> 18:31.902
Mark it zero!
18:38.701 --> 18:40.953
All right. It's fucking zero.
18:41.037 --> 18:43.122
You happy,
you crazy fuck?
18:45.499 --> 18:47.501
It's a league game,
Smokey.
18:49.211 --> 18:50.880
You can't do that, man.
18:50.963 --> 18:53.674
These guys, you know, they're
like me, they're pacifists.
18:53.758 --> 18:56.344
Smokey was a
conscientious objector.
18:56.427 --> 18:59.263
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled
in pacifism at one point.
18:59.347 --> 19:00.640
Not in Nam, of course.
19:00.723 --> 19:04.185
And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.
19:04.268 --> 19:06.687
You mean, beyond pacifism?
19:06.771 --> 19:09.482
He's fragile.
He's very fragile.
19:12.234 --> 19:14.070
I did not know that.
19:14.153 --> 19:17.031
Well, it's all water
under the bridge.
19:17.114 --> 19:20.117
And we do enter
the next round robin.
19:20.201 --> 19:22.495
Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
19:22.578 --> 19:24.330
Am I wrong?
You're not wrong, Walter.
19:24.413 --> 19:25.790
You're just an asshole.
19:25.915 --> 19:27.333
Okay then.
19:27.416 --> 19:29.043
Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.
19:29.126 --> 19:31.045
They should be pushovers.
19:32.588 --> 19:34.674
Man, would you just...
19:34.757 --> 19:36.509
Just take it easy, man.
19:36.592 --> 19:38.886
You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.
19:38.969 --> 19:41.847
Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not...
19:41.931 --> 19:44.767
Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.
19:44.850 --> 19:46.811
Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.
19:46.894 --> 19:49.271
Just take it easy, man.
19:50.398 --> 19:51.732
I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
19:51.816 --> 19:55.277
Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.
19:55.361 --> 19:57.279
Will you just take it easy?
19:58.114 --> 19:59.907
Calmer than you are.
20:04.245 --> 20:05.871
Dude, this is Smokey.
20:05.955 --> 20:07.873
Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,
20:07.957 --> 20:09.208
and I know
it wasn't your fault,
20:09.291 --> 20:10.876
but I just thought
it was fair to tell you
20:10.960 --> 20:13.170
that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the league
20:13.254 --> 20:15.464
and asking them
to set aside the round.
20:15.548 --> 20:18.217
I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.
20:18.300 --> 20:21.554
So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.
20:21.637 --> 20:23.097
Tell Walter.
20:23.180 --> 20:24.432
I'm sorry.
20:26.308 --> 20:28.644
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...
20:30.312 --> 20:32.189
Well, at Mr. Leb0wski's
office.
20:32.273 --> 20:34.775
Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.
20:36.527 --> 20:38.571
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel Zelnicker
20:38.654 --> 20:40.114
of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.
20:40.197 --> 20:45.453
I just got an informal report that a
member of your team, a Walter Sobchak,
20:45.536 --> 20:47.788
drew a firearm
during league play.
20:47.913 --> 20:49.457
If this is true, of course,
20:49.540 --> 20:51.250
it contravenes a number of
the league's bylaws
20:51.333 --> 20:53.043
and also article 27
of the league...
20:54.503 --> 20:56.797
Dude.
Hey, Marty.
20:56.881 --> 20:58.632
Dude, I finally got...
20:58.716 --> 21:01.010
I got the venue I wanted.
21:01.552 --> 21:05.014
I'm performing my dance
quintet, you know, my cycle,
21:05.097 --> 21:07.850
at Crane Jackson's Fountain
Street Theater on Tuesday night.
21:07.933 --> 21:12.188
And, well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.
21:13.022 --> 21:14.732
I'll be there, man.
21:17.026 --> 21:19.904
Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.
21:21.280 --> 21:22.531
Far out.
21:25.159 --> 21:27.328
Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.
21:27.411 --> 21:30.206
Just slip the rent
under my door.
21:33.125 --> 21:36.420
...serious
infraction and examine your standing.
21:36.504 --> 21:38.005
Thank you.
21:39.590 --> 21:42.218
Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.
21:42.301 --> 21:45.721
Please do call us as soon as you
get in and I'll send the limo.
21:45.805 --> 21:49.391
I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,
21:49.475 --> 21:52.144
which I assure you
is not a problem.
21:52.228 --> 21:54.855
We need your help, and...
21:54.939 --> 21:58.901
Well, we would very much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.
22:00.236 --> 22:01.695
We've had some
terrible news.
22:01.779 --> 22:03.989
Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.
22:08.452 --> 22:09.954
Mr. Lebowski.
22:17.044 --> 22:18.212
Funny.
22:19.421 --> 22:23.217
I can look back on
a life of achievement,
22:23.300 --> 22:25.511
challenges met,
22:25.594 --> 22:27.638
competitors bested,
22:27.721 --> 22:29.431
obstacles overcome.
22:31.016 --> 22:34.395
I've accomplished
more than most men
22:34.478 --> 22:36.772
and without
the use of my legs.
22:41.443 --> 22:44.238
What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?
22:45.531 --> 22:46.949
Dude.
Huh?
22:48.993 --> 22:51.662
Oh, I don't know, sir.
22:51.745 --> 22:54.623
Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,
22:56.750 --> 22:58.419
whatever the cost?
22:59.253 --> 23:01.380
Isn't that what
makes a man?
23:02.506 --> 23:05.009
Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.
23:05.593 --> 23:07.386
You're joking,
23:09.638 --> 23:11.265
but perhaps you're right.
23:11.348 --> 23:13.267
You mind if I do a Jay?
23:15.185 --> 23:16.353
Bunny.
23:18.439 --> 23:19.773
Excuse me?
23:20.107 --> 23:21.650
Bunny Lebowski.
23:22.776 --> 23:24.904
She is the light of my life.
23:26.488 --> 23:28.991
Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?
23:30.910 --> 23:32.786
Oh, fucking A.
23:32.870 --> 23:35.372
Strong men also cry.
23:37.041 --> 23:40.002
Strong men also cry.
23:43.047 --> 23:45.507
I received
this fax this morning.
23:48.469 --> 23:52.097
As you can see,
it is a ransom note.
23:53.057 --> 23:55.100
"We have Bunny."
23:55.184 --> 23:59.438
Written by men who were unable to
achieve on a level field of play.
23:59.521 --> 24:02.149
"Gather $1 million..."
24:02.274 --> 24:05.653
Cowards! - - In unmarked,
nonconsecutive 20s-"
24:05.736 --> 24:08.447
VVeakHngs!
"A wait instructions."
24:08.572 --> 24:10.324
Bums!
"No funny stuff."
24:11.408 --> 24:13.577
Bummer.
Huh?
24:14.828 --> 24:18.540
This is a bummer, man.
That's... That's a bummer.
24:19.333 --> 24:22.044
Brandt will fill you in
on the details.
24:36.600 --> 24:41.355
Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a
generous offer to you to act as courier
24:41.438 --> 24:43.983
once we get instructions
for the money.
24:44.066 --> 24:45.234
Why me, man?
24:45.317 --> 24:50.823
He believes the culprits might be
the very people who soiled your rug
24:50.906 --> 24:55.828
and you are in a unique position to
confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.
24:55.911 --> 24:57.663
He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?
24:57.746 --> 24:59.665
Well, Dude,
we just don't know.
26:30.839 --> 26:34.009
Welcome to the
Hotel California
26:34.885 --> 26:36.804
Such a lovely place
26:36.887 --> 26:38.764
Fucking Quintana.
26:39.723 --> 26:42.059
That creep can roll, man.
26:42.184 --> 26:45.187
Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
Yeah.
26:46.146 --> 26:49.066
No, he's a sex offender
with a record.
26:49.149 --> 26:52.111
He did six months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
26:53.612 --> 26:55.489
When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-door
26:55.572 --> 26:57.366
to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
26:58.325 --> 27:01.829
What's a pederast, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
27:04.164 --> 27:06.750
So, how much
did he give you?
27:06.834 --> 27:10.087
20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.
27:10.212 --> 27:11.547
Just for making a hand-off?
Yeah.
27:11.630 --> 27:14.007
They gave Dude a beeper.
27:15.008 --> 27:17.803
So whenever these guys call...
What if it's during a game?
27:17.886 --> 27:20.514
Oh, I told them if it was
during league play...
27:20.597 --> 27:21.723
What's during
league play?
27:21.807 --> 27:24.268
Life does not stop and
start at your convenience,
27:24.351 --> 27:26.270
you miserable
piece of shit.
27:26.353 --> 27:28.313
Ifigure... What's wrong
with Walter, Dude?
27:28.397 --> 27:30.899
I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.
27:30.983 --> 27:32.818
She probably
kidnapped herself.
27:33.777 --> 27:36.655
What do you mean, Dude?
Rug-peers did not do this.
27:36.738 --> 27:41.618
Look at it. A young trophy wife
marries this guy for his money.
27:41.702 --> 27:44.538
She figures he isn't giving
her enough, you know.
27:44.621 --> 27:46.373
She owes money
all over town.
27:46.456 --> 27:48.625
That fucking bitch!
27:48.709 --> 27:50.502
It's all a goddamn
fake, man.
27:50.586 --> 27:52.504
It's like Lenin said,
27:52.588 --> 27:57.551
you look for the person who
will benefit and, you know...
27:57.634 --> 28:00.262
I Am the Walrus?
You know, you'll...
28:00.929 --> 28:02.931
You know what I'm trying to say.
I Am the VVa/rus.
28:03.015 --> 28:05.809
That fucking bitch!
Oh, yeah!
28:05.893 --> 28:07.311
I Am the Walrus.
Thafis...
28:07.394 --> 28:08.896
Shut the fuck up,
Donny!
28:08.979 --> 28:12.024
V.l. Lenin, Vladimir
llyich Ulyanov!
28:12.107 --> 28:13.275
What the fuck is
he talking about?
28:13.358 --> 28:15.194
Fucking exactly what
happened to those...
28:15.277 --> 28:16.820
That makes me
fucking sick!
28:16.945 --> 28:19.865
Well, what do you care, Walter?
Those rich fucks.
28:19.948 --> 28:21.909
This whole fucking thing.
28:21.992 --> 28:24.745
I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muck
28:24.828 --> 28:26.580
so that this
fucking strumpet,
28:26.663 --> 28:27.831
this fucking whore,
could waltz around...
28:27.915 --> 28:30.334
I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.
28:30.417 --> 28:32.044
Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.
28:32.127 --> 28:34.046
No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.
28:34.129 --> 28:35.589
Your roll.
Have it your way.
28:35.672 --> 28:37.007
Your roll.
But my point is...
28:37.132 --> 28:39.885
My point is... QUINTANA: Are
you ready to be fucked, man?
28:41.553 --> 28:44.348
I see you rolled your way
into the semis.
28:45.390 --> 28:47.726
Dios mio, man.
28:47.809 --> 28:50.646
Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
28:51.146 --> 28:56.944
Yeah? Well, you know, that's
just like your opinion, man.
28:58.153 --> 29:01.240
Let me tell you
something, pendejo.
29:01.323 --> 29:03.533
You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,
29:03.617 --> 29:06.411
you flash a piece out
on the lanes,
29:06.495 --> 29:09.414
I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass
29:09.498 --> 29:12.709
and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.
29:14.670 --> 29:15.921
Jesus.
29:16.004 --> 29:17.673
You said it, man.
29:17.756 --> 29:20.008
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
29:26.306 --> 29:27.683
Eight-year-olds, Dude.
29:50.872 --> 29:54.042
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
29:54.418 --> 29:56.545
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
29:56.628 --> 29:58.255
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
29:58.338 --> 30:00.841
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
30:01.174 --> 30:02.926
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
30:05.095 --> 30:06.722
La-Ia-Ia
30:07.973 --> 30:10.017
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
30:10.100 --> 30:11.476
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
30:14.438 --> 30:16.648
The man in me will do
30:17.733 --> 30:20.235
Nearly any task
30:21.069 --> 30:24.156
And as for compensation
30:24.239 --> 30:26.325
There's little he would ask
30:27.909 --> 30:30.495
Take a woman like you
30:31.288 --> 30:32.706
To get through
30:33.165 --> 30:35.250
To the man in me
30:38.295 --> 30:41.423
Storm clouds are raging
30:41.923 --> 30:44.468
All around my door
30:45.552 --> 30:47.429
I think to myself
30:47.512 --> 30:50.974
I might not take it anymore
30:51.767 --> 30:54.686
Take a woman like your kind
30:55.103 --> 30:59.149
To find the man in me
31:01.902 --> 31:03.612
But, oh
31:04.863 --> 31:06.782
What a wonderful feeling
31:09.409 --> 31:11.203
Just to know
31:11.286 --> 31:13.747
That you are near
31:16.708 --> 31:20.128
Sets my heart a-reeling
31:21.505 --> 31:24.383
From my toes
31:24.925 --> 31:27.969
Up to my ears
31:28.845 --> 31:32.099
The man in me
will hide sometimes
31:32.182 --> 31:33.683
They called
about 80 minutes ago.
31:33.767 --> 31:36.395
They want you to take the
money, drive north on the 405.
31:36.478 --> 31:37.813
They will call you
on the portable phone
31:37.896 --> 31:39.981
with instructions
in about 40 minutes.
31:40.065 --> 31:41.149
One person only.
31:41.233 --> 31:43.652
They were very clear on that, or
I'd go with you. One person only.
31:43.777 --> 31:46.780
Vvhathappened to your jaw?
Oh, nothing, man.
31:48.323 --> 31:49.950
Here's the money.
31:50.784 --> 31:52.411
And the phone.
31:52.494 --> 31:55.330
Please, Dude, follow whatever
instructions they give.
31:55.414 --> 31:58.208
All right.
Her life is in your hands.
31:58.291 --> 31:59.918
Man, don't say that.
32:00.001 --> 32:02.587
Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat
that, her life is in your hands.
32:02.671 --> 32:04.005
Oh, shit, man.
32:04.089 --> 32:06.425
Her life is in
yourhands,Dude.
32:06.508 --> 32:09.177
Report back to us
as soon as it's done.
32:18.687 --> 32:22.941
Where the fuck are you going, man?
Take the ringer, I'll drive.
32:23.024 --> 32:25.235
The what?
The ringer.
32:25.318 --> 32:26.945
The ringer, Dude.
32:34.703 --> 32:36.663
What the...
Have they called yet?
32:36.746 --> 32:38.540
What the hell is this?
32:38.623 --> 32:41.501
My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.
32:41.585 --> 32:45.714
Walter, I'm sure there's a reason
you brought your dirty undies, man.
32:45.797 --> 32:47.090
That's right, Dude.
The weight.
32:47.174 --> 32:48.467
The ringer cannot look empty.
32:48.550 --> 32:50.635
Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?
32:50.719 --> 32:52.637
You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.
32:52.721 --> 32:55.557
I got to thinking, why should we settle
for a measly fucking 20 grand...
32:55.640 --> 32:58.852
We? What the fuck, "we"? You said
you just wanted to come along.
32:58.935 --> 33:01.313
My point, Dude, is why should
we settle for 20 grand
33:01.396 --> 33:04.065
when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
33:04.149 --> 33:07.235
Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.
33:07.319 --> 33:09.654
Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.
33:09.738 --> 33:11.948
She kidnapped herself.
I said I thought...
33:18.205 --> 33:20.248
Dude, here. MAN: Who is this?
33:21.666 --> 33:24.628
Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?
33:24.711 --> 33:25.754
Us?
33:27.380 --> 33:28.465
Shit!
33:30.383 --> 33:33.011
Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.
33:33.094 --> 33:36.848
I'm not handling the money, driving the
car and talking on the phone all by my...
33:36.932 --> 33:38.183
Shut the fuck up!
33:38.266 --> 33:41.269
Dude, are you fucking this up?
Who is that?
33:42.604 --> 33:45.190
That is the driver.
I told you...
33:46.942 --> 33:48.860
Oh, shit!
What the fuck's going on?
33:48.944 --> 33:50.320
Walter...
What the fuck is going on?
33:50.403 --> 33:54.699
He hung up, man. You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!
33:54.824 --> 33:57.369
Her “fie was 'm our hands, man.
Easy, Dude.
33:57.452 --> 34:01.331
We're screwed now. We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.
34:01.414 --> 34:04.125
We're fucked, Walter.
Nothing is fucked, Dude.
34:04.209 --> 34:06.711
Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.
34:06.795 --> 34:09.214
They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped...
34:10.423 --> 34:12.384
You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.
34:12.467 --> 34:16.346
Nothing is fucked. They're a
bunch of fucking amateurs.
34:16.429 --> 34:18.932
Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?
34:19.015 --> 34:21.393
Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.
34:21.476 --> 34:23.436
Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.
34:25.522 --> 34:27.983
But they're amateurs.
Fuck.
34:29.568 --> 34:30.735
Dude.
34:30.819 --> 34:34.072
Okay, we proceed but only
if there is no funny stuff.
34:34.155 --> 34:35.699
Yeah, yeah.
34:35.782 --> 34:37.867
So no funny stuff. Okay?
34:37.951 --> 34:40.537
Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.
34:44.165 --> 34:46.376
That was the sign, man.
34:46.459 --> 34:50.171
So, all we gotta do
is get her back.
34:50.255 --> 34:52.632
No one's in a position
to complain.
34:52.716 --> 34:55.135
We keep the baksheesh.
Yeah, terrific, Walter.
34:55.218 --> 34:57.887
But you haven't told me how we're
gonna get her back. Where is she?
34:57.971 --> 34:59.806
That's the simple part, Dude.
34:59.889 --> 35:04.185
We make the hand-off, I grab one of
them and beat it out of him. Huh?
35:05.312 --> 35:07.939
That's a great plan, Walter.
35:08.023 --> 35:10.150
That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.
35:10.233 --> 35:12.193
It's a Swiss fucking watch.
35:12.277 --> 35:15.405
That's right, Dude. The beauty
of this is its simplicity.
35:15.488 --> 35:18.742
Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.
35:18.825 --> 35:20.577
If there's one thing
I learned in Nam...
35:24.539 --> 35:25.624
Dude.
35:25.707 --> 35:27.542
You are coming
to wooden bridge.
35:27.626 --> 35:28.793
When you cross the bridge,
35:28.877 --> 35:32.172
you throw the bag from the
left window of the moving car.
35:32.255 --> 35:33.298
You're being watched.
35:34.633 --> 35:36.968
Fuck. Wham he say'?
'nere's the hand-off'?
35:37.052 --> 35:38.720
There is no fucking
hand-off, man.
35:38.803 --> 35:41.473
At the wooden bridge we throw
the money out of the oar.
35:41.556 --> 35:44.392
We throw the money
out of the moving car.
35:44.934 --> 35:47.604
We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.
35:47.687 --> 35:49.606
Well, call them up and
explain it to them, Walter.
35:49.689 --> 35:50.940
Your plan is so
fucking simple,
35:51.024 --> 35:52.817
I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.
35:52.901 --> 35:54.027
That's the beauty of it.
35:54.152 --> 35:56.529
Wooden bfidge,huh?
Throw them the money, Walter.
35:56.613 --> 35:58.156
We're not fucking around, man.
35:58.239 --> 36:00.492
Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up.
Give me the ringer, chop-chop.
36:00.575 --> 36:02.118
Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,
36:02.202 --> 36:05.288
but sooner or later you're gonna have to
face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
36:05.372 --> 36:07.707
Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
Hey, man!
36:07.791 --> 36:10.168
Here's the bridge.
Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!
36:10.251 --> 36:12.962
Hey, Walter!
Here goes the ringer!
36:14.255 --> 36:16.466
What the fuck?
Okay, Dude, you're wheel.
36:16.549 --> 36:18.718
Hey, man, what the fuck?
At 15 mph, I roll out.
36:18.802 --> 36:20.720
I double back, grab one of
them and beat it out of him.
36:20.804 --> 36:22.013
The Uzi.
Uzi.
36:22.097 --> 36:24.182
You didn't think I was rolling
out of here naked, did you?
36:24.265 --> 36:26.893
Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it!
Let's take that hill!
36:26.976 --> 36:28.269
Walter!
36:51.084 --> 36:53.795
We have it!
36:53.878 --> 36:56.381
We have it!
36:56.464 --> 36:58.425
We have it!
37:12.981 --> 37:14.983
Fuck it, Dude.
37:15.066 --> 37:16.651
Let's go bowling.
37:55.148 --> 37:58.443
Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.
37:58.526 --> 38:00.320
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
38:00.403 --> 38:03.490
What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?
38:03.573 --> 38:05.700
Oh, him.
38:05.784 --> 38:08.787
I don't know. Vvhatexacfly
is the problem?
38:08.870 --> 38:10.705
The problem is...
38:11.998 --> 38:13.750
What do you mean,
what's the...
38:13.833 --> 38:15.376
There was no...
38:16.211 --> 38:17.796
We didn't...
38:18.880 --> 38:21.090
They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
38:21.174 --> 38:23.009
What the fuck
are you talking about?
38:23.092 --> 38:25.637
The poor woman, that poor
slut kidnapped herself.
38:25.720 --> 38:27.013
Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.
38:27.096 --> 38:29.390
Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.
38:29.474 --> 38:30.975
You're the one who's
so fucking certain.
38:31.059 --> 38:33.603
That's right, Dude.
100% certain.
38:33.686 --> 38:35.396
They posted the next round
for the tournament.
38:35.480 --> 38:36.731
Donny, shut the fuck...
38:36.815 --> 38:38.817
When do we play?
This Saturday. Quintana and...
38:38.900 --> 38:40.652
Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.
38:40.735 --> 38:43.071
Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?
38:43.154 --> 38:46.491
I told that fuck down at the league office.
V\Iho's in charge of scheduling?
38:46.574 --> 38:48.117
Walter!
Burkhalter.
38:48.201 --> 38:51.162
I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times, I don't roll on shabbos!
38:51.246 --> 38:52.539
Walter!
They already posted it.
38:52.622 --> 38:54.207
Well, they can
fucking un-post it!
38:54.290 --> 38:57.585
Who gives a shit? They're gonna
kill that poor woman, man!
38:57.710 --> 38:59.963
What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Come on, Dude.
39:00.046 --> 39:03.049
Eventually she'll get tired of her little
game and, you know, wander on back.
39:03.132 --> 39:04.676
How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?
39:04.759 --> 39:05.885
I'm shomer shabbos.
39:06.010 --> 39:07.929
What's that, Walter? Yeah,
and in the meantime,
39:08.012 --> 39:09.430
what do I tell Lebowski?
39:09.514 --> 39:11.850
Saturday, Donny, is shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.
39:11.933 --> 39:14.394
That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,
39:14.477 --> 39:15.979
I don't fucking
ride in a car,
39:16.062 --> 39:17.897
I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the oven
39:17.981 --> 39:20.108
and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!
39:21.025 --> 39:22.110
Sheesh.
39:22.193 --> 39:23.736
Shomer shabbos!
39:25.655 --> 39:28.324
Walter, how am I gonna...
Shomer fucking shabbos!
39:28.449 --> 39:31.703
Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on, Dude.
39:33.746 --> 39:35.623
Dude!Dude!
39:37.876 --> 39:39.210
You just tell him...
39:39.294 --> 39:41.671
Tell him we made the drop and
everything went, you know...
39:41.754 --> 39:42.797
Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?
39:42.881 --> 39:44.757
Went all right. Dude's car
got a little dinged up.
39:44.841 --> 39:47.218
Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!
39:47.302 --> 39:49.387
They didn't get
the fucking money!
39:49.470 --> 39:50.680
And they're gonna...
They're gonna...
39:50.763 --> 39:52.348
They're gonna kill
that poor woman.
39:52.432 --> 39:55.101
They're gonna kill
that poor woman!
39:55.184 --> 39:56.644
Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,
39:56.728 --> 39:58.104
then how do you get
around on shabbos?
39:58.187 --> 40:00.231
Really, Dude,
you surprise me.
40:00.315 --> 40:01.608
They're not gonna
kill shit.
40:01.691 --> 40:02.817
They're not gonna do shit.
40:02.901 --> 40:04.527
What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.
40:04.611 --> 40:06.446
And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.
40:06.529 --> 40:08.781
Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?
40:08.865 --> 40:09.991
Am I wrong?
Walter.
40:10.074 --> 40:13.119
V\Iho's got a fucking million fucking
dollars sitting in the trunk of our oar?
40:13.244 --> 40:16.247
Our car, Walter? And what do they got?
My dirty undies.
40:16.331 --> 40:17.999
My fucking whites!
40:24.088 --> 40:25.423
SaY,Dude?
40:26.299 --> 40:28.217
Where is your car?
40:28.343 --> 40:31.471
Who's got your undies, Walter?
Where's your car, Dude?
40:31.554 --> 40:33.681
You don't know,
Walter?
40:34.390 --> 40:38.061
It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.
40:38.978 --> 40:41.689
You fucking
know it's been stolen.
40:41.773 --> 40:44.692
Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.
40:46.069 --> 40:47.487
Oh, fuck it.
40:50.031 --> 40:53.451
Where you going, Dude?
I'm going home, Donny.
40:53.534 --> 40:56.704
Phone's ringing, Dude.
Thank you, Donny!
41:12.387 --> 41:13.513
Yeah.
41:14.889 --> 41:20.019
Green with some brown,
rust coloration.
41:21.229 --> 41:24.357
And was there anything
of value in the car?
41:24.440 --> 41:25.900
Oh, yeah.
41:27.276 --> 41:31.614
A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a...
41:34.200 --> 41:35.743
My briefcase.
41:38.329 --> 41:39.956
In the briefcase?
41:42.083 --> 41:43.251
Papers.
41:44.168 --> 41:45.586
Just papers.
41:46.587 --> 41:49.966
You know, my papers,
business papers.
41:51.634 --> 41:54.971
And what do you do, sir?
I'm unemployed.
41:58.349 --> 42:01.269
My rug was also stolen.
42:01.352 --> 42:03.646
Your rug was in the car?
42:03.730 --> 42:05.440
No. Here.
42:06.107 --> 42:07.775
Separate incidents.
42:09.777 --> 42:11.529
The Dude is not in.
42:11.612 --> 42:14.449
Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?
42:15.533 --> 42:16.868
Sometimes.
42:17.702 --> 42:20.163
Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.
42:20.246 --> 42:21.956
Or the Creedence.
42:22.123 --> 42:26.085
What about the briefcase?
42:26.627 --> 42:28.046
Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.
42:28.129 --> 42:30.048
Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.
42:30.131 --> 42:33.760
My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.
42:33.843 --> 42:36.929
Well, guess we can close
the file onthatone.
43:28.523 --> 43:31.442
I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.
43:49.961 --> 43:53.381
Does the female form make you
uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
43:53.464 --> 43:57.260
Is that what this is a picture of?
In a sense, yes.
43:57.343 --> 44:00.012
My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,
44:00.096 --> 44:01.180
which bothers some men.
44:01.264 --> 44:04.225
The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.
44:04.725 --> 44:06.811
Vagina.
Oh, yeah?
44:06.894 --> 44:09.313
Yes, they don't like hearing it
and find it difficult to say,
44:09.397 --> 44:10.773
whereas without
batting an eye,
44:10.857 --> 44:15.069
a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.
44:16.320 --> 44:17.321
"Johnson"?
44:17.405 --> 44:20.116
All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.
44:20.199 --> 44:22.660
My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,
44:22.743 --> 44:26.706
but as it was a gift from me to my
late mother, it was not his to give.
44:26.789 --> 44:28.708
Now, your face.
44:29.959 --> 44:31.878
As for this kidnapping.
44:32.003 --> 44:33.004
Huh?
44:33.087 --> 44:36.507
Yes, I know all about it, and I
know that you acted as courier.
44:36.591 --> 44:39.844
Let me tell you something. The
whole thing stinks to high heaven.
44:39.927 --> 44:44.140
Yeah, right, but let me explain
something about the rug.
44:44.223 --> 44:46.434
Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?
44:47.435 --> 44:50.688
Excuse me? Sex, the physical
act of love. Coitus.
44:50.813 --> 44:54.025
Do you like it? I was
talking about my rug.
44:54.108 --> 44:56.652
You're not interested in sex?
44:56.736 --> 44:59.030
You mean coitus?
I like it, too.
44:59.113 --> 45:01.365
It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.
45:01.449 --> 45:03.868
It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.
45:03.951 --> 45:05.369
However, there are
some people,
45:05.453 --> 45:08.372
it is called satyriasis in
men, nymphomania in women,
45:08.456 --> 45:11.626
who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.
45:11.709 --> 45:14.712
Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
45:14.795 --> 45:18.716
These unfortunate souls cannot love,
in the true sense of the word.
45:18.799 --> 45:22.261
Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.
45:22.345 --> 45:24.555
Listen, Maude,
45:24.639 --> 45:27.850
I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,
45:27.934 --> 45:31.312
but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with...
45:31.395 --> 45:34.190
You have any Kahlua?
Take a look at this, sir.
45:37.735 --> 45:39.570
Oh, I know that guy.
45:41.155 --> 45:43.366
He's a nihilist.
45:44.951 --> 45:46.661
"Karl Hungus."
46:00.424 --> 46:01.842
Hi.
Hello.
46:01.926 --> 46:04.887
Mein dispatcher says there is
something wrong with dein Kabel.
46:04.971 --> 46:06.097
Yeah. Come on in.
46:06.180 --> 46:08.599
I'm not really sure exactly what's
really wrong with the cable.
46:08.683 --> 46:11.269
That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.
46:11.352 --> 46:12.687
The TV's in here.
46:12.728 --> 46:15.940
You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools-
46:18.859 --> 46:20.611
That's my friend Sherry.
46:20.695 --> 46:22.363
She just came over
to use the shower.
46:22.446 --> 46:24.782
The story is ludicrous.
46:24.865 --> 46:27.827
My name is Karl.
lch bin expert.
46:27.910 --> 46:29.954
You must be here
to fix the cable.
46:30.037 --> 46:32.915
Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.
46:32.999 --> 46:34.458
He fixes the cable?
46:34.542 --> 46:36.585
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
46:36.669 --> 46:39.964
Little matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography,
46:40.047 --> 46:42.675
nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,
46:42.758 --> 46:44.510
to use the parlance
of our times.
46:44.593 --> 46:48.556
However, I am one of the two
trustees of the Lebowski Foundation,
46:48.639 --> 46:50.308
the other being my father.
46:50.391 --> 46:52.351
The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and...
46:52.435 --> 46:53.811
Shit, yeah. The achievers.
46:53.894 --> 46:57.606
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes,
and proud we are of all of them.
46:57.690 --> 47:01.527
I asked my father about his withdrawal of
$1 million from the foundation aooount,
47:01.610 --> 47:03.446
and he told me
about this abduction,
47:03.529 --> 47:05.156
but I tell you
it is preposterous.
47:05.239 --> 47:09.160
This compulsive fornicator is taking
my father for the proverbial ride.
47:09.243 --> 47:11.162
Yeah, but my...
I'm getting to your rug.
47:11.245 --> 47:12.997
My father and I
don't get along.
47:13.080 --> 47:14.707
He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,
47:14.790 --> 47:16.459
needless to say,
I don't approve of his.
47:16.542 --> 47:20.338
However, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter.
47:20.421 --> 47:23.299
So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the money
47:23.382 --> 47:25.509
from the people
you delivered it to.
47:25.593 --> 47:28.512
Well, I could do that.
47:28.596 --> 47:30.473
If you successfully do so,
47:30.556 --> 47:35.811
I will compensate you to the tune
of 10% of the recovered sum.
47:35.895 --> 47:37.897
A hundred...
Thousand. Yes.
47:37.980 --> 47:40.733
Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
47:40.816 --> 47:45.071
Yeah, but what about my...
Your rug, yes.
47:45.154 --> 47:47.740
Well, with that money you
can buy any number of rugs
47:47.823 --> 47:50.451
that don't have sentimental
value for me.
47:50.534 --> 47:53.037
And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.
47:53.120 --> 47:55.581
Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even...
47:55.664 --> 47:58.209
Here's the name and number of a
doctor who will look at it for you.
47:58.292 --> 47:59.877
You will receive no bill.
47:59.960 --> 48:01.545
He's a good man
and thorough.
48:01.629 --> 48:03.214
That's thoughtful but...
48:03.297 --> 48:06.801
Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.
48:08.427 --> 48:10.596
Oh, well, all right.
48:11.639 --> 48:13.265
So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.
48:13.349 --> 48:15.768
"She's always busting
my frigging agates.
48:15.851 --> 48:19.063
"My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.
48:19.146 --> 48:23.025
"L got a rash so bad on my
ass I can't even sit down.
48:23.109 --> 48:25.236
"But you know me,
I can't complain."
48:25.403 --> 48:27.154
Oh, fucking A, man.
48:27.238 --> 48:29.990
I got a rash, man. Fucking A.
48:31.033 --> 48:33.577
I gotta tell you, Tone, man,
48:33.661 --> 48:36.789
earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.
48:36.872 --> 48:38.791
Really down in the dumps.
48:38.874 --> 48:40.251
Lost a little money...
48:40.334 --> 48:43.754
Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.
48:43.838 --> 48:45.089
Yeah, fuck it, man.
48:45.172 --> 48:48.008
You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.
48:48.092 --> 48:50.803
Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. L.
48:53.514 --> 48:55.808
Hey, yo. Come here.
48:55.891 --> 48:58.394
Who's your friend in
the Volkswagen? Huh?
49:00.271 --> 49:02.481
Yeah.
He followed us here.
49:02.565 --> 49:05.484
When did he start...
Whoa! What the fuck?
49:05.568 --> 49:07.695
Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!
49:07.778 --> 49:10.656
Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!
49:12.324 --> 49:14.785
Start talking, and talk
fast, you lousy bum.
49:14.869 --> 49:16.704
We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.
49:16.787 --> 49:19.331
Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?
49:20.875 --> 49:23.586
Well, we... I don't...
49:23.669 --> 49:25.963
They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!
49:26.046 --> 49:27.631
They did not
receive the money!
49:27.715 --> 49:30.009
Her life was
in your hands!
49:30.092 --> 49:31.635
This is our concern, Dude.
49:31.719 --> 49:33.762
No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.
49:33.846 --> 49:35.764
Nothing is fucked?
No, man.
49:35.848 --> 49:39.643
The goddamn plane has
crashed into the mountain!
49:39.727 --> 49:43.981
Man, come on. Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or...
49:44.064 --> 49:45.816
We dropped off the damn money.
49:45.900 --> 49:47.193
We?
49:48.486 --> 49:51.489
I, the royal we.
49:51.572 --> 49:52.907
You know. The editorial...
49:52.990 --> 49:55.034
I dropped off the money
exactly as per...
49:55.117 --> 49:58.871
Look, man, I've got certain information.
All right?
49:58.954 --> 50:01.457
Certain things have
come to light and...
50:01.540 --> 50:04.168
You know, has it ever
occurred to you
50:04.251 --> 50:09.673
that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me...
50:09.757 --> 50:11.967
You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,
50:12.051 --> 50:17.890
you know, this could be
a lot more complex...
50:17.973 --> 50:22.937
I mean, it's not just... It might not
be just such a simple... You know?
50:23.020 --> 50:26.524
What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?
50:26.607 --> 50:28.984
Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.
50:29.068 --> 50:31.028
I've got information, man.
50:31.111 --> 50:32.863
New shit has come to light.
50:32.947 --> 50:34.907
And, shit, man,
50:36.867 --> 50:38.786
she kidnapped herself.
50:41.789 --> 50:44.542
Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?
50:44.625 --> 50:48.546
A young trophy wife, in the
parlance of our times, you know.
50:48.629 --> 50:53.801
She owes money all over town,
including to known pornographers.
50:55.719 --> 50:57.972
And that's cool.
That's cool.
50:58.847 --> 51:02.685
I'm saying she
needs money, man.
51:02.768 --> 51:06.438
And, you know, of course they're
gonna say they didn't get it
51:07.731 --> 51:10.568
because she wants more, man.
51:10.651 --> 51:13.070
She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean...
51:15.406 --> 51:18.492
Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?
51:18.576 --> 51:19.660
Sir?
51:21.829 --> 51:25.207
No, Mr. Lebowski, it had
not occurred to me.
51:25.291 --> 51:27.501
That had not
occurred to us, Dude.
51:27.585 --> 51:29.044
Well, okay, you know?
51:29.128 --> 51:33.632
You guys aren't privy to all
the new shit, so, you know...
51:33.716 --> 51:37.094
But, hey, that's what you...
That's what you pay me for.
51:39.513 --> 51:40.639
Speaking of which,
51:40.723 --> 51:45.060
do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?
51:45.144 --> 51:48.105
My concern is, and I've gotta
check it with my accountant,
51:48.188 --> 51:50.941
that this might bump me up
into a higher tax...
51:51.025 --> 51:53.611
Brandt, give him
the envelope.
51:54.320 --> 51:58.282
Oh, well, if you've already got
the check made out, that's cool.
51:58.365 --> 52:00.367
We received this
this morning.
52:02.911 --> 52:06.290
Since you have
failed to achieve,
52:06.373 --> 52:09.877
even in the modest task
which was your charge,
52:09.960 --> 52:13.130
since you have
stolen my money,
52:13.213 --> 52:16.925
since you have unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,
52:17.009 --> 52:20.971
I have no choice
but to tell these bums
52:21.055 --> 52:23.265
to do whatever is necessary
52:23.349 --> 52:27.478
to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.
52:28.729 --> 52:32.816
And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,
52:32.900 --> 52:36.153
any further harm
visited upon Bunny
52:36.236 --> 52:39.865
will be visited tenfold
upon your head.
52:42.242 --> 52:43.702
By God, sir,
52:44.244 --> 52:47.247
I will not abide another toe.
52:47.873 --> 52:53.253
I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above
52:53.337 --> 52:55.464
That wasn't her toe, Dude.
52:57.216 --> 53:00.219
Whose toe was it, Walter?
How the fuck should I know?
53:00.344 --> 53:03.847
I do know that nothing about it
indicates... The nail polish, Walter.
53:03.931 --> 53:05.224
Fine, Dude.
53:05.307 --> 53:09.186
As if it's impossible to get some nail
polish, apply it to someone else's toe...
53:09.269 --> 53:10.562
Someone else...
Pinking shears.
53:10.646 --> 53:12.022
Where the fuck are
they gonna get...
53:12.106 --> 53:14.858
You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.
53:14.942 --> 53:16.819
Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.
53:16.944 --> 53:19.196
You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Yeah, but, Walter...
53:19.279 --> 53:22.700
Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00
this afternoon with nail polish.
53:22.783 --> 53:24.702
These fucking amateurs.
Walter...
53:24.785 --> 53:27.621
They send us a toe, we're supposed
to shit ourselves with fear.
53:27.705 --> 53:29.248
Jesus Christ!
Walter...
53:29.373 --> 53:31.458
The point is... They're
gonna kill her, Walter,
53:31.542 --> 53:33.210
and then they're
gonna kill me.
53:33.293 --> 53:35.754
Dude, that's...
53:37.047 --> 53:39.216
That's just the
stress talking, man.
53:39.299 --> 53:44.346
Now, so far we have what appears to me
to be a series of victimless crimes.
53:44.430 --> 53:46.974
What about the toe?
Forget about the fucking toe!
53:47.057 --> 53:50.185
Excuse me, sir. Could you
please keep your voices down?
53:50.269 --> 53:52.062
This is a family restaurant.
53:52.146 --> 53:54.565
Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,
53:54.648 --> 53:57.443
the Supreme Court has roundly
rejected prior restraint.
53:57.526 --> 53:59.903
Come on. Walter, this is not a
First Amendment thing, man.
53:59.987 --> 54:03.157
Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
54:03.240 --> 54:06.326
Lady, I got buddies who
died face down in the muck
54:06.410 --> 54:09.079
so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!
54:09.204 --> 54:12.541
All right, I'm out of here.
Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.
54:12.624 --> 54:16.587
Come on. This affects all of us, man!
It's our basic freedoms!
54:21.341 --> 54:22.801
I'm staying.
54:25.012 --> 54:27.014
I'm finishing my coffee.
54:31.852 --> 54:33.645
EnlQYiTIQ my coffee.
54:49.870 --> 54:52.039
The Dude is not in.
54:52.122 --> 54:54.958
Leave a message after the beep.
It takes a minute.
54:56.168 --> 54:59.880
Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty
Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD.
54:59.963 --> 55:01.465
We've recovered
your automobile.
55:01.548 --> 55:04.843
It can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
55:04.927 --> 55:06.053
Their hours there are...
55:06.136 --> 55:07.679
Far out, man. Far fucking out!
55:18.148 --> 55:21.527
Hey! This is a private
residence, man.
55:29.910 --> 55:31.745
Oh, nice marmot.
55:41.505 --> 55:45.592
Where is the money,
Lebowski? V\Ie wants the money, Lebowski!
55:51.598 --> 55:54.810
You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?
55:54.893 --> 55:57.187
We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.
55:57.312 --> 56:01.233
Ja, we believes in nothing. V\Ie
believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!
56:01.316 --> 56:04.653
And tomorrow we come back
and we cut off your johnson.
56:04.736 --> 56:07.990
Excuse me? I said, we
cut off yourjohnson!
56:08.073 --> 56:10.492
Just think about that,
Lebowski.
56:10.576 --> 56:12.494
Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski.
56:12.578 --> 56:14.913
Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.
56:23.881 --> 56:28.302
It was discovered last night in
Van Nuys lodged against an abutment.
56:28.385 --> 56:30.178
Oh, man. Lodged where?
56:30.262 --> 56:32.556
You're lucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.
56:32.639 --> 56:35.058
Oh,man! Must've been
a joyride situation.
56:35.142 --> 56:37.686
They abandoned the vehicle once
they hit the retaining wall.
56:37.769 --> 56:41.106
Oh, my fucking briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!
56:41.189 --> 56:42.900
Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.
56:42.983 --> 56:44.985
You gotta get in
on the other side.
56:46.028 --> 56:49.197
The side view was found
on the road by the car.
56:50.782 --> 56:54.703
You're lucky they left the tape
deck though, and the Creedence.
56:55.078 --> 56:57.706
Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?
56:57.789 --> 57:00.834
Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.
57:00.918 --> 57:03.670
Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.
57:03.754 --> 57:05.005
Hey, man,
57:06.340 --> 57:07.966
are you gonna find these guys?
57:08.050 --> 57:12.596
Or, you know, I mean... You
got any promising leads or...
57:12.888 --> 57:14.431
Leads?
57:14.514 --> 57:16.099
Yeah. Sure.
57:16.183 --> 57:19.436
I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.
57:19.519 --> 57:23.357
They got four more detectives
working on the case.
57:23.440 --> 57:25.067
They got us working in shifts!
57:30.530 --> 57:31.698
Leads!
57:32.532 --> 57:34.952
My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills me
57:35.035 --> 57:36.745
before the Germans
can cut my dick off.
57:36.828 --> 57:37.955
Leads!
57:38.038 --> 57:39.706
Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.
57:39.790 --> 57:41.500
No one's going to
cut your dick off.
57:41.625 --> 57:44.127
Thank you, Walter. Not if I
have anything to say about it.
57:44.211 --> 57:45.253
Thank you, Walter.
57:45.379 --> 57:47.381
That makes me feel very secure.
Dude?
57:47.506 --> 57:50.425
That makes me feel very
warm inside, man. Dude?
57:50.509 --> 57:53.261
This whole fucking thing.
57:53.345 --> 57:56.556
I could be sitting here with
just pee stains on my rug.
57:56.682 --> 57:59.935
But no, man, I got a, you know...
Yeah. Fucking Germans.
58:00.018 --> 58:01.186
Nothing changes.
58:02.229 --> 58:05.816
Fucking Nazis.
They were Nazis, Dude?
58:05.899 --> 58:08.485
Oh, come on, Donny. They
were threatening castration!
58:08.568 --> 58:10.404
Uh-huh. Are we gonna
split hairs here?
58:10.487 --> 58:11.822
No.
Am I wrong?
58:11.905 --> 58:15.200
Well, he didn't... Man,
they were nihilists, man.
58:15.283 --> 58:17.828
They kept saying they
believed in nothing.
58:17.911 --> 58:19.246
Nihilists.
58:20.956 --> 58:22.249
Fuck me.
58:23.959 --> 58:27.129
I mean, say what you want about the
tenets of national socialism, Dude.
58:27.212 --> 58:29.506
At least it's an ethos.
Yeah.
58:29.589 --> 58:32.300
And, also, let's not forget...
Let's not forget, Dude,
58:32.384 --> 58:35.345
that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,
58:35.429 --> 58:38.974
for, you know,
domestic...
58:39.057 --> 58:40.809
Within the city...
58:41.601 --> 58:44.688
That ain't legal, either. What are
you, a fucking park ranger now?
58:44.771 --> 58:46.356
No! I'm just
trying to...
58:46.440 --> 58:49.151
Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?
58:49.276 --> 58:52.487
e are sympathmng here, Dude.
Fuck sympathy.
58:52.571 --> 58:56.491
I don't need your fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.
58:57.451 --> 59:00.662
What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man!
59:00.746 --> 59:03.540
You cannot drag this negative
energy into the tournament.
59:03.623 --> 59:06.293
Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.
59:09.004 --> 59:11.006
Fuck the tournament?
59:11.089 --> 59:14.092
Okay, Dude. I can see you don't
want to be cheered up here.
59:14.176 --> 59:16.636
Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.
59:21.641 --> 59:24.311
Another Caucasian, Gary.
Right, Dude.
59:26.813 --> 59:30.150
Friends like these, huh, Gary?
That's right, Dude.
59:37.741 --> 59:42.829
See them tumbling down
59:43.789 --> 59:49.002
Pledging their love
to the ground
59:49.669 --> 59:53.924
Lonely, but free,
I'll be found
59:54.049 --> 59:58.386
You got a good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City Sarsaparilla?
59:58.470 --> 1:00:00.430
Yeah. That's a good one.
1:00:03.517 --> 1:00:05.811
How're you doing there,
Dude?
1:00:05.894 --> 1:00:07.979
Not too good, man.
1:00:08.563 --> 1:00:10.982
One of those days, huh?
Yeah.
1:00:12.192 --> 1:00:16.947
Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,
1:00:17.030 --> 1:00:18.824
"Sometimes you eat
the bear and..."
1:00:20.367 --> 1:00:22.452
Much obliged.
1:00:22.536 --> 1:00:26.373
"Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."
1:00:28.083 --> 1:00:30.794
That some kind of
Eastern thing?
1:00:30.877 --> 1:00:32.337
Far from it.
1:00:39.052 --> 1:00:41.054
I like your style, Dude.
1:00:42.305 --> 1:00:46.309
Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.
1:00:46.393 --> 1:00:48.687
Got a whole cowboy thing
going.
1:00:53.066 --> 1:00:54.526
Thank you.
1:00:54.609 --> 1:00:56.528
There's just one thing, Dude.
1:00:56.611 --> 1:00:58.363
What's that?
1:00:58.446 --> 1:01:01.074
Do you have to use
so many cuss words?
1:01:04.494 --> 1:01:06.788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1:01:08.081 --> 1:01:10.542
Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
1:01:12.836 --> 1:01:15.172
Take her easy, Dude.
1:01:15.255 --> 1:01:16.923
Yeah. Thanks, man.
1:01:22.929 --> 1:01:24.639
Call for you, Dude.
1:01:28.310 --> 1:01:32.063
Hello? MA LJDE: Jeffrey, you
have not gone to the doctor.
1:01:32.147 --> 1:01:35.233
Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.
1:01:35.317 --> 1:01:37.819
I'd like to see you
immediately.
1:01:38.737 --> 1:01:39.779
Oh?
1:01:52.459 --> 1:01:55.754
So, you're Lebowski.
Yeah.
1:01:58.632 --> 1:02:00.759
Maude has told me
all about you.
1:02:00.842 --> 1:02:03.303
She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.
1:02:03.720 --> 1:02:06.723
Do you want a drink?
Yeah, sure. White Russian.
1:02:07.682 --> 1:02:09.476
The bar's over there.
1:02:14.314 --> 1:02:18.401
So, what do you do, Lebowski?
Who the fuck are you, man?
1:02:19.903 --> 1:02:23.740
Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah?
The friend with the cleft asshole?
1:02:26.910 --> 1:02:29.454
What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.
1:02:30.664 --> 1:02:32.582
Hello, Jeffrey.
Hello.
1:02:32.666 --> 1:02:35.543
Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.
1:02:36.294 --> 1:02:37.837
I got to
1:02:40.173 --> 1:02:42.467
tender my resignation
or whatever
1:02:42.550 --> 1:02:47.555
because looks like your mother
really was kidnapped after all.
1:02:47.639 --> 1:02:49.683
She most certainly was not.
1:02:49.766 --> 1:02:54.813
Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?
1:02:54.896 --> 1:02:57.440
You might learn something.
Now, I got...
1:02:57.607 --> 1:03:00.360
Please
don't call her my mother.
1:03:00.443 --> 1:03:03.280
She's most definitely the
perpetrator and not the victim.
1:03:03.363 --> 1:03:06.199
I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.
1:03:06.283 --> 1:03:09.119
From who?
From the main guy, Uli.
1:03:09.202 --> 1:03:12.539
Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?
1:03:14.207 --> 1:03:17.294
You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?
1:03:17.377 --> 1:03:20.213
I might have introduced them,
for all I know.
1:03:20.297 --> 1:03:22.465
Do you remember Uli?
1:03:22.549 --> 1:03:25.302
He's a musician. Used to
have a group, Autobahn.
1:03:25.385 --> 1:03:29.931
Look in my LP's. They released
one album in the late '70s.
1:03:30.015 --> 1:03:32.934
Their music is
sort of a techno pop.
1:03:33.059 --> 1:03:36.479
So he's pretending to be the abductor?
V\Iell, yeah.
1:03:36.563 --> 1:03:39.941
Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap
someone you're acquainted with.
1:03:40.025 --> 1:03:44.529
The whole idea is that the hostage can't
identify you after you've let them go.
1:03:44.612 --> 1:03:46.323
Well, I know that.
1:03:50.493 --> 1:03:53.163
What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?
1:03:53.246 --> 1:03:56.750
Knox Harrington,
the video artist.
1:03:56.833 --> 1:03:58.752
So, Uli has the money.
1:03:59.961 --> 1:04:03.506
Well, no, not exactly.
1:04:04.382 --> 1:04:06.134
This is a very complicated
case, Maude.
1:04:06.301 --> 1:04:08.261
You know, a
lot of ins, a lot of outs,
1:04:08.386 --> 1:04:09.512
a lot of what-have-yous
1:04:09.596 --> 1:04:12.182
and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.
1:04:12.265 --> 1:04:14.726
You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.
1:04:14.809 --> 1:04:16.019
Hello?
1:04:16.102 --> 1:04:17.979
If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?
1:04:18.063 --> 1:04:19.981
It's Sandra
about the Biennale.
1:04:20.065 --> 1:04:23.568
Look. I have to take this. Do you
still have that doctor's number?
1:04:23.651 --> 1:04:27.197
No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
Oh, please, Jeffrey.
1:04:27.280 --> 1:04:30.367
I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.
1:04:32.911 --> 1:04:34.537
Aftereffects?
1:05:03.983 --> 1:05:07.278
Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?
1:05:07.362 --> 1:05:08.446
Mmm?
1:05:08.780 --> 1:05:10.740
No, no, man.
She hit me right here.
1:05:10.824 --> 1:05:14.494
I understand. Could you slide
your shorts down, please?
1:05:25.630 --> 1:05:27.924
Just got home from Illinois
1:05:28.007 --> 1:05:30.176
Locked the front door, oh, boy
1:05:30.260 --> 1:05:34.472
Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porch
1:05:34.848 --> 1:05:37.016
Imagination sets in
1:05:37.100 --> 1:05:39.310
Pretty soon I'm singin'
1:05:39.394 --> 1:05:41.229
Doo,doo,doo
1:05:41.312 --> 1:05:43.398
Looking out my back door
1:05:43.481 --> 1:05:46.192
Keeping mighty cool. There's
a giant doing cartwheels
1:05:46.276 --> 1:05:48.528
A statue wearing high heels
1:05:48.611 --> 1:05:50.864
Look at all the
happy creatures
1:05:50.947 --> 1:05:53.199
Dancing on the lawn
1:05:53.283 --> 1:05:57.620
A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens
1:05:57.745 --> 1:05:59.747
Doo, doo, doo
1:05:59.831 --> 1:06:01.916
Looking out my back door
1:06:02.375 --> 1:06:06.713
Tambourines and
elephants are playing in the band
1:06:08.214 --> 1:06:09.382
Doo,doo,doo
1:06:09.466 --> 1:06:13.428
Wondrous apparition
provided by magician
1:06:13.887 --> 1:06:15.722
Doo,doo,doo
1:06:15.805 --> 1:06:18.475
Looking out my back door
1:06:36.743 --> 1:06:40.997
Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
1:06:41.080 --> 1:06:44.501
Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?
1:06:44.584 --> 1:06:46.002
Doo,doo,doo
1:06:46.085 --> 1:06:47.837
Bother me tomorrow
1:06:47.921 --> 1:06:50.381
Today I'll buy no sorrows
1:06:50.465 --> 1:06:51.883
Doo,doo,doo
1:06:51.966 --> 1:06:54.761
Looking out my back door
1:07:47.146 --> 1:07:50.608
He lives in North Hollywood on
Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger.
1:07:50.692 --> 1:07:52.860
No, the ln-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.
1:07:52.944 --> 1:07:55.363
Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those
are good burgers, Walter.
1:07:55.446 --> 1:07:58.324
Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid
is in the ninth grade, Dude.
1:07:58.408 --> 1:08:01.035
And his father is...
Are you ready for this?
1:08:01.119 --> 1:08:04.455
His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.
1:08:04.539 --> 1:08:06.124
Who the fuck is that?
1:08:06.207 --> 1:08:09.252
Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
VVhO the...
1:08:09.335 --> 1:08:11.713
Have you ever heard of a little
show called Branded, Dude?
1:08:11.796 --> 1:08:12.839
Yes, yes, I...
1:08:12.922 --> 1:08:14.924
"All but one man died
there at Bitter Creek."
1:08:15.008 --> 1:08:17.260
I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?
1:08:17.343 --> 1:08:21.389
Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
1:08:21.472 --> 1:08:23.182
The bulk of the series.
1:08:23.266 --> 1:08:24.309
Oh.
1:08:24.350 --> 1:08:26.936
Not exactly a lightweight. No.
1:08:27.020 --> 1:08:29.355
And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.
1:08:30.857 --> 1:08:33.568
Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.
1:08:33.651 --> 1:08:35.320
We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.
1:08:35.403 --> 1:08:36.613
We'll be near
the ln-N-Out Burger.
1:08:36.696 --> 1:08:37.822
Shut the fuck up, Donny!
1:08:40.116 --> 1:08:43.328
V\Ie'll go out there, we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.
1:08:43.411 --> 1:08:45.538
We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,
1:08:45.622 --> 1:08:47.749
if he hasn't
spent it already.
1:08:47.832 --> 1:08:49.876
A million fucking clams.
1:08:49.959 --> 1:08:53.630
And, yes, we'll be near the...
ln-N-Out.
1:08:54.047 --> 1:08:57.467
Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers.
A few laughs.
1:09:00.178 --> 1:09:02.472
Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.
1:09:14.942 --> 1:09:17.945
Oh, fuck me, man.
1:09:18.029 --> 1:09:20.823
That kid's already spent
all the money, man.
1:09:20.907 --> 1:09:23.159
New Vette? Hardly, Dude.
1:09:23.242 --> 1:09:28.581
I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000
left, depending on the options.
1:09:29.290 --> 1:09:30.291
Wait in the car, Donny.
1:09:34.462 --> 1:09:36.464
Yes?
Pilar?
1:09:37.674 --> 1:09:41.803
My name is Walter Sobchak. This is
my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.
1:09:43.221 --> 1:09:45.515
We came to talk
about little Larry.
1:09:45.598 --> 1:09:47.684
May we come in?
Yes, yes.
1:09:47.767 --> 1:09:49.102
Thank you.
1:09:53.439 --> 1:09:55.066
That's him, Dude.
1:10:02.615 --> 1:10:05.076
And a good day
to you, sir!
1:10:05.159 --> 1:10:07.161
Sit down, please.
1:10:12.583 --> 1:10:15.378
Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!
1:10:15.461 --> 1:10:18.297
Is he...
Does he still write?
1:10:18.381 --> 1:10:21.509
Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.
1:10:21.676 --> 1:10:22.885
Uh-huh.
1:10:24.637 --> 1:10:26.681
Sir, I just want to say
1:10:27.682 --> 1:10:30.143
that we're both,
on a personal level,
1:10:31.644 --> 1:10:33.604
really enormous fans.
1:10:33.688 --> 1:10:36.858
Branded, especially
the early episodes,
1:10:36.941 --> 1:10:39.068
was truly a source
of inspiration.
1:10:39.152 --> 1:10:41.946
Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.
1:10:42.029 --> 1:10:45.616
Oh, no, ma'am. V\Ie didn't want to give the
impression that we were police, exactly.
1:10:45.700 --> 1:10:48.453
V\Ie're hoping it won't be
necessary to call the police.
1:10:48.536 --> 1:10:50.997
But that's up to
little Larry here.
1:10:51.080 --> 1:10:52.707
Isn't it, Larry?
1:11:03.593 --> 1:11:05.720
Is this your homework,
Larry?
1:11:07.180 --> 1:11:09.390
Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it...
1:11:09.474 --> 1:11:12.852
Dude. Please? ls this
your homework, Larry?
1:11:12.935 --> 1:11:14.312
Just ask him about
the car, man.
1:11:14.395 --> 1:11:16.731
Is this yours, Larry? ls
this your homework, Larry?
1:11:16.814 --> 1:11:18.024
Is that your car out front?
1:11:18.065 --> 1:11:21.027
Is this your homework, Larry? We
know it's his fucking homework!
1:11:21.110 --> 1:11:23.362
Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?
1:11:23.446 --> 1:11:26.449
Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?
1:11:26.574 --> 1:11:28.868
For Christ's sake, Walter. You are
entering a world of pain, son.
1:11:28.951 --> 1:11:31.621
We know that this is your homework.
We know that you stole the car.
1:11:31.704 --> 1:11:34.248
And the fucking money.
And the fucking money!
1:11:34.332 --> 1:11:36.000
And we know that
this is your homework!
1:11:36.083 --> 1:11:37.293
We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.
1:11:37.376 --> 1:11:39.337
You're killing
your father, Larry.
1:11:42.507 --> 1:11:44.592
All right.
This is pointless.
1:11:45.885 --> 1:11:48.554
Okay, time for Plan B.
1:11:50.807 --> 1:11:53.768
You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.
1:11:55.061 --> 1:11:58.439
Son, this is what happens when
you fuck a stranger in the ass!
1:12:00.107 --> 1:12:02.068
A little language
problem here.
1:12:02.151 --> 1:12:04.529
Little prick's
stonewalling me.
1:12:05.404 --> 1:12:06.948
Walter.
1:12:07.657 --> 1:12:09.659
What are you doing, man?
1:12:12.286 --> 1:12:14.080
What are you doing?
1:12:15.414 --> 1:12:17.083
Here you go, Larry.
1:12:17.166 --> 1:12:19.168
You see what happens?
1:12:19.252 --> 1:12:21.295
You see what happens, Larry?
1:12:22.046 --> 1:12:23.881
You see what happens?
Oh, great.
1:12:23.965 --> 1:12:27.552
This is what happens when you fuck
a stranger in the ass, Larry.
1:12:30.596 --> 1:12:32.223
This is what happens, Larry.
1:12:32.306 --> 1:12:34.141
You see what happens, Larry?
1:12:34.225 --> 1:12:36.686
You see what happens when you
fuck a stranger in the ass?
1:12:36.769 --> 1:12:38.980
This is what happens!
1:12:39.146 --> 1:12:41.232
You see what happens, Larry?
1:12:41.315 --> 1:12:43.693
You see what happens, Larry?
1:12:43.776 --> 1:12:47.488
Do you see what happens, Larry, when
you fuck a stranger in the ass?
1:12:48.739 --> 1:12:50.283
This is what happens, Larry!
1:12:50.366 --> 1:12:52.034
This is what happens, Larry!
1:12:52.118 --> 1:12:54.871
My car! My baby!
This is what happens, Larry!
1:12:54.954 --> 1:12:56.914
This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger...
1:12:56.998 --> 1:12:59.667
What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!
1:12:59.792 --> 1:13:02.253
Hey, man. I just bought
that fucking car last week!
1:13:02.378 --> 1:13:05.381
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
1:13:05.506 --> 1:13:08.634
I just bought the fucking car last week!
Come on, man.
1:13:08.718 --> 1:13:10.553
I'll kill your
fucking car, man!
1:13:10.636 --> 1:13:12.680
No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!
1:13:12.763 --> 1:13:15.224
God damn it!
Whoa! Oh, no!
1:13:15.308 --> 1:13:17.101
Fuck you!
Man. No.
1:13:17.184 --> 1:13:19.687
You like that? Fuck you!
1:13:19.770 --> 1:13:23.232
- I'll kill your fucking car!
- No. No, no. No.
1:13:23.316 --> 1:13:25.234
I'll kill your fucking car!
1:13:46.255 --> 1:13:48.174
I accept your apology.
1:13:49.342 --> 1:13:52.845
No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.
1:13:54.055 --> 1:13:56.098
No.No.No!
1:13:56.182 --> 1:13:58.017
That has nothing
to do with it.
1:13:59.393 --> 1:14:02.772
Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.
1:14:04.398 --> 1:14:09.153
No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!
1:14:11.364 --> 1:14:13.366
Well, that's your perception.
1:14:15.076 --> 1:14:17.745
You know, Walter,
you're right.
1:14:17.828 --> 1:14:19.789
There is an unspoken
message here.
1:14:19.872 --> 1:14:22.291
It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"
1:14:25.211 --> 1:14:27.046
Yeah, I'll be at practice.
1:14:44.647 --> 1:14:46.482
Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.
1:14:46.565 --> 1:14:48.317
Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.
1:14:48.401 --> 1:14:51.278
Jackie Treehorn knows which
Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
1:14:51.362 --> 1:14:54.198
Jackie Treehorn wants to
see the deadbeat Lebowski.
1:14:54.281 --> 1:14:56.158
You're not dealing
with morons here.
1:15:44.206 --> 1:15:47.209
Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.
1:15:47.293 --> 1:15:48.961
I'm Jackie Treehorn.
1:15:51.881 --> 1:15:54.592
This is quite a pad
you got here, man.
1:15:54.675 --> 1:15:56.677
Completely unspoiled.
1:15:56.761 --> 1:15:59.972
What's your drink, Dude?
A White Russian. Thanks.
1:16:00.848 --> 1:16:02.141
White Russian.
1:16:02.767 --> 1:16:06.729
How's the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn't know, Dude.
1:16:06.812 --> 1:16:12.234
I deal in publishing,
entertainment, pofificaladvocacy.
1:16:12.318 --> 1:16:15.571
Which one's Logjammin'?
Yes, regrettably, it's true.
1:16:15.654 --> 1:16:18.491
Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.
1:16:18.574 --> 1:16:20.201
It's video, Dude.
1:16:21.035 --> 1:16:22.870
Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,
1:16:22.953 --> 1:16:26.499
we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,
1:16:27.333 --> 1:16:30.252
production value, feelings.
1:16:32.004 --> 1:16:37.218
You know, people forget that the
brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
1:16:37.843 --> 1:16:39.428
On you maybe.
1:16:39.512 --> 1:16:41.430
Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.
1:16:41.514 --> 1:16:44.433
New technology permits us
to do very exciting things
1:16:44.517 --> 1:16:47.228
in interactive
erotic software.
1:16:47.311 --> 1:16:51.398
Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.
1:16:52.733 --> 1:16:55.361
Well, I still jerk off
manually.
1:16:57.655 --> 1:17:02.034
Of course you do. I can see you're
anxious for me to get to the point.
1:17:02.118 --> 1:17:04.829
Well, here it is, Dude.
1:17:04.912 --> 1:17:06.497
Where's Bunny?
1:17:06.539 --> 1:17:09.125
Well, I thought you might know that, man.
V\Ihy would I?
1:17:09.208 --> 1:17:13.462
She only ran off to get away from
that rather sizable debt to me.
1:17:13.546 --> 1:17:15.965
No, she didn't run off.
She's been...
1:17:16.048 --> 1:17:18.134
I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.
1:17:18.217 --> 1:17:20.219
I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.
1:17:21.846 --> 1:17:24.974
And I don't care what you're
trying to get from the husband.
1:17:25.057 --> 1:17:26.559
That's your business.
1:17:26.642 --> 1:17:30.479
All I'm saying is I want mine.
1:17:30.563 --> 1:17:31.814
Yeah, right, man.
1:17:31.897 --> 1:17:35.776
I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,
1:17:35.901 --> 1:17:37.778
a lot of interested parties.
1:17:38.195 --> 1:17:39.530
Excuse me.
1:17:45.244 --> 1:17:46.328
Yeah?
1:17:47.288 --> 1:17:48.455
Oh. yeah?
1:17:48.539 --> 1:17:49.957
Where is that?
1:17:53.586 --> 1:17:55.713
All right. Yeah.
1:17:58.716 --> 1:18:00.050
Excuse me.
1:18:35.544 --> 1:18:39.215
Forgive me.
No problemo, man.
1:18:39.298 --> 1:18:43.636
So, if I can find your money,
1:18:45.429 --> 1:18:47.306
what's in it for the Dude?
1:18:47.389 --> 1:18:50.559
Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?
1:18:50.643 --> 1:18:54.104
Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.
1:18:54.188 --> 1:18:57.650
That all right?
Okay. Done, Jackie.
1:18:58.609 --> 1:19:00.903
I dig the way
you do business, man.
1:19:00.986 --> 1:19:04.615
Your money is being held by
a kid named Larry Sellers.
1:19:04.698 --> 1:19:07.451
He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,
1:19:08.661 --> 1:19:11.163
by the ln-N-Out Burger.
1:19:11.247 --> 1:19:12.289
Fucking brat.
1:19:12.373 --> 1:19:16.585
But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.
1:19:18.837 --> 1:19:20.798
Flunking social studies.
1:19:24.176 --> 1:19:27.054
So, if you could just
1:19:27.137 --> 1:19:31.433
write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,
1:19:31.517 --> 1:19:34.603
5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.
1:19:39.066 --> 1:19:41.527
You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.
1:19:43.028 --> 1:19:45.114
Fifteen-year-old kid.
1:19:45.864 --> 1:19:49.868
Is this some sort of a joke?
No. No joke.
1:19:51.662 --> 1:19:54.790
No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.
1:19:54.873 --> 1:19:56.041
Hi, fellas.
1:19:58.752 --> 1:20:00.379
Kid just wanted a car.
1:20:03.674 --> 1:20:07.052
All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.
1:20:07.553 --> 1:20:08.887
Not greedy.
1:20:10.556 --> 1:20:11.932
It really
1:20:13.559 --> 1:20:15.269
tied the room together.
1:20:18.230 --> 1:20:21.400
Darkness washed
over the Dude.
1:20:21.483 --> 1:20:25.988
Darker than a black steer's tokus
on a moonless prairie night.
1:20:26.947 --> 1:20:29.742
There was no bottom.
1:20:43.839 --> 1:20:46.258
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1:20:46.342 --> 1:20:49.928
What condition
my condition was in
1:20:51.930 --> 1:20:57.269
I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining in
1:21:00.272 --> 1:21:05.611
I found my mind in
a brown paper bag within
1:21:08.489 --> 1:21:12.743
I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles high
1:21:12.826 --> 1:21:16.872
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
1:21:16.955 --> 1:21:18.707
I just dropped in
1:21:18.791 --> 1:21:22.961
To see what condition
my condition was in
1:21:23.337 --> 1:21:26.006
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1:21:26.090 --> 1:21:29.385
What condition
my condition was in
1:21:35.641 --> 1:21:39.228
I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark hole
1:21:39.311 --> 1:21:41.980
And then I followed it in
1:21:43.899 --> 1:21:47.027
I watched myself crawlin' out
1:21:47.111 --> 1:21:50.989
As I was a-crawlin' in
1:21:51.615 --> 1:21:54.076
I got up so tight
1:21:54.159 --> 1:21:56.286
I couldn't unwind
1:21:56.370 --> 1:22:00.499
I saw so much I broke my mind
1:22:00.582 --> 1:22:02.418
I just dropped in
1:22:02.501 --> 1:22:06.213
To see what condition
my condition was in
1:22:15.180 --> 1:22:17.766
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1:22:17.850 --> 1:22:21.103
What condition
my condition was in
1:22:26.984 --> 1:22:30.779
Someone painted "April Fool"
1:22:30.863 --> 1:22:33.490
In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" sign
1:22:35.117 --> 1:22:39.496
I had my foot on the gas
as I left the road
1:22:39.580 --> 1:22:43.167
And blew out my mind
1:22:43.667 --> 1:22:48.088
Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spare
1:22:48.172 --> 1:22:52.050
Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhere
1:22:52.384 --> 1:22:54.303
I just dropped in
1:22:54.386 --> 1:22:58.724
To see what condition
my condition was in
1:23:00.142 --> 1:23:02.478
I said I just dropped in
1:23:02.561 --> 1:23:06.732
To see what condition
my condition was in
1:23:07.107 --> 1:23:10.194
Yeah, yeah
1:23:10.277 --> 1:23:16.575
Oh, yeah
1:24:10.712 --> 1:24:14.132
He was innocent
1:24:15.050 --> 1:24:18.679
Not a charge was true
1:24:19.388 --> 1:24:24.977
And they say
he ran away branded
1:24:38.365 --> 1:24:40.200
ls this your only ID?
1:24:40.993 --> 1:24:42.911
I know my rights, man.
1:24:45.038 --> 1:24:46.790
You don't know shit, Lebowski.
1:24:46.873 --> 1:24:49.585
I want a fucking lawyer,
man.
1:24:49.668 --> 1:24:53.839
L want Bill Kunstler, man,
1:24:55.340 --> 1:24:57.050
or Ron Kuby.
1:24:57.134 --> 1:25:00.304
Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject you
1:25:00.387 --> 1:25:02.389
from his garden party,
1:25:02.848 --> 1:25:04.766
that you were drunk
and abusive.
1:25:04.850 --> 1:25:09.938
Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.
1:25:10.439 --> 1:25:13.567
Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.
1:25:13.650 --> 1:25:16.028
You don't draw shit, Lebowski.
1:25:16.111 --> 1:25:18.822
Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,
1:25:18.905 --> 1:25:21.450
and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.
1:25:21.533 --> 1:25:23.869
So let me make
something plain.
1:25:24.411 --> 1:25:28.498
I don't like you sucking around
bothering our citizens, Lebowski.
1:25:29.207 --> 1:25:31.460
I don't like your
jerk-off name.
1:25:31.543 --> 1:25:32.794
I don't like your
jerk-off face.
1:25:32.878 --> 1:25:34.504
I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.
1:25:34.588 --> 1:25:37.549
And I don't like you,
jerk-off.
1:25:41.219 --> 1:25:43.096
Do I make myself clear?
1:25:46.224 --> 1:25:48.226
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
1:25:49.728 --> 1:25:50.771
Ow!
1:25:50.854 --> 1:25:52.439
Fucking fascist!
1:25:54.066 --> 1:25:56.234
Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.
1:25:57.069 --> 1:25:59.196
Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!
1:26:00.364 --> 1:26:04.868
Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking
ass out of my beach community.
1:26:05.035 --> 1:26:07.704
I want to sleep with you
1:26:07.788 --> 1:26:10.916
In the desert tonight
1:26:12.167 --> 1:26:16.797
With a billion stars
all around
1:26:17.673 --> 1:26:20.842
Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?
1:26:20.926 --> 1:26:22.594
Fuck you, man! If you don't
like my fucking music,
1:26:22.678 --> 1:26:24.179
get your own fucking cab!
1:26:24.262 --> 1:26:25.347
I had a really rough...
1:26:25.430 --> 1:26:27.182
I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.
1:26:27.265 --> 1:26:31.978
Man, come on. I had a rough night,
and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
1:26:39.736 --> 1:26:42.322
Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Man!
1:26:43.782 --> 1:26:45.951
Man! Man! Hey!
1:26:57.129 --> 1:27:01.049
There 's a thousand
pretty women waiting out there
1:27:01.133 --> 1:27:04.886
And they're all livin'
devil may care
1:27:04.970 --> 1:27:08.557
And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
1:27:08.807 --> 1:27:12.102
So viva Las Vegas
1:27:12.936 --> 1:27:16.481
Viva Las Vegas
1:27:28.493 --> 1:27:31.121
Oh, Jesus!
1:27:51.057 --> 1:27:52.309
Jeffrey.
1:27:53.226 --> 1:27:55.103
Maude?
Love me.
1:27:57.898 --> 1:27:59.858
That's my robe.
1:28:01.151 --> 1:28:03.069
Tell me about
yourself, Jeffrey.
1:28:03.904 --> 1:28:06.156
Well, not much to tell.
1:28:07.282 --> 1:28:12.913
I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.
1:28:14.539 --> 1:28:16.917
The original Port Huron Statement.
Uh-huh.
1:28:17.375 --> 1:28:20.921
Not the compromised
second draft.
1:28:22.839 --> 1:28:24.549
Then I...
1:28:25.717 --> 1:28:28.261
You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?
1:28:28.345 --> 1:28:29.721
That was me.
1:28:32.974 --> 1:28:35.227
And there were
six other guys.
1:28:36.770 --> 1:28:39.981
And then the music business,
briefly.
1:28:40.065 --> 1:28:41.608
Oh?
Yeah.
1:28:41.691 --> 1:28:43.401
Roadie for Metallica.
1:28:43.485 --> 1:28:44.528
Oh.
1:28:44.611 --> 1:28:46.112
Speed of Sound tour.
1:28:46.488 --> 1:28:47.864
Mmm-hmm.
1:28:48.323 --> 1:28:49.991
Bunch of assholes.
1:28:51.284 --> 1:28:54.663
And then, you know, little
of this, little of that.
1:28:56.039 --> 1:28:59.292
My career's slowed down
a little lately.
1:28:59.376 --> 1:29:02.504
What do you do
for recreation?
1:29:03.296 --> 1:29:04.756
Well, the usual.
1:29:04.840 --> 1:29:07.634
Bowl, drive around,
1:29:09.094 --> 1:29:11.429
the occasional
acid flashback.
1:29:17.644 --> 1:29:19.729
What happened
to your house?
1:29:19.813 --> 1:29:22.357
Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.
1:29:22.440 --> 1:29:25.360
He thought I had
your father's money.
1:29:25.443 --> 1:29:28.613
He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.
1:29:28.697 --> 1:29:30.824
Cocktail?
No, thanks.
1:29:30.907 --> 1:29:33.994
It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.
1:29:34.494 --> 1:29:37.789
Why did he think you have it?
Who does?
1:29:37.873 --> 1:29:42.335
Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.
1:29:42.419 --> 1:29:45.964
You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.
1:29:46.047 --> 1:29:48.049
A lot of ins, a lot of outs.
1:29:48.717 --> 1:29:53.263
You know, fortunately, I'm adhering
to a pretty strict, drug regimen
1:29:53.346 --> 1:29:55.599
to keep my mind,
you know, limber,
1:29:55.682 --> 1:29:59.227
and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.
1:29:59.311 --> 1:30:01.938
I keep telling you, it's
the foundation's money.
1:30:02.022 --> 1:30:03.648
Father doesn't have any.
1:30:05.233 --> 1:30:07.402
What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.
1:30:07.485 --> 1:30:09.821
No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.
1:30:10.614 --> 1:30:12.073
No, he runs stuff.
1:30:12.490 --> 1:30:14.701
We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,
1:30:14.784 --> 1:30:17.704
but he didn't do very well at it.
Oh, he's, you know...
1:30:17.787 --> 1:30:20.165
No, he helps administer
the charities now,
1:30:20.248 --> 1:30:22.876
and I give him
a reasonable allowance.
1:30:22.959 --> 1:30:24.628
He has no money of his own.
1:30:24.711 --> 1:30:26.421
I know how he likes
to present himself.
1:30:26.504 --> 1:30:29.799
Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.
1:30:32.052 --> 1:30:33.678
Do you think he...
1:30:35.180 --> 1:30:36.514
What is that, yoga?
1:30:36.598 --> 1:30:38.975
It increases the chances
ofconcepflon.
1:30:41.937 --> 1:30:44.439
Increases...
Well, yes.
1:30:44.522 --> 1:30:47.484
What did you think this was all about?
Fun and games?
1:30:47.567 --> 1:30:49.110
L want a child.
1:30:49.694 --> 1:30:51.529
Okay, yeah, okay.
1:30:51.613 --> 1:30:54.449
But let me... Let me explain
something about the Dude.
1:30:54.532 --> 1:30:57.994
Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.
1:30:58.078 --> 1:31:01.790
In fact, I don't want the father to
be someone I have to see socially
1:31:01.873 --> 1:31:04.960
or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.
1:31:06.378 --> 1:31:09.881
Oh. So, that doctor...
Exactly.
1:31:10.966 --> 1:31:13.843
Now, what happened
to your face?
1:31:14.469 --> 1:31:16.596
Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?
1:31:16.680 --> 1:31:21.977
No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.
1:31:22.060 --> 1:31:23.812
So, your father...
1:31:25.814 --> 1:31:28.733
Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. What?
1:31:28.817 --> 1:31:33.238
Oh,man. My thinking about this
case has become very uptight.
1:31:33.321 --> 1:31:34.823
Yeah.
1:31:34.906 --> 1:31:36.241
Your father.
1:31:37.242 --> 1:31:40.245
Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?
1:31:42.247 --> 1:31:43.248
Jeffrey!
1:31:43.331 --> 1:31:46.126
Walter, if you're there, pick
up the fucking phone, man.
1:31:46.209 --> 1:31:48.211
Come on, Walter.
1:31:48.294 --> 1:31:51.506
Pick it up, man. This is an emergency.
Dude ? Dude ?
1:31:51.589 --> 1:31:55.552
Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place.
I need you to come pick me up.
1:31:55.635 --> 1:31:58.013
I can't drive, Dude-
It's Erev shabbos. What?
1:31:58.096 --> 1:31:59.514
Erev shabbos.
What?
1:31:59.597 --> 1:32:02.767
Erev shabbos. I can't drive.
Man!
1:32:02.851 --> 1:32:05.478
I'm not even supposed to pick up the
phone unless it's an emergency.
1:32:05.562 --> 1:32:08.940
This is a fucking emergency!
I understand.
1:32:09.024 --> 1:32:10.608
That's why I picked up
the phone.
1:32:10.692 --> 1:32:13.987
Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.
1:32:14.070 --> 1:32:16.322
Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.
1:32:31.963 --> 1:32:34.424
Get out of that
fucking car, man!
1:32:35.717 --> 1:32:37.761
Get out of that fucking car!
1:32:37.844 --> 1:32:40.138
Get the fuck
out of the car, man.
1:32:42.140 --> 1:32:44.142
Get out of the fucking...
1:32:44.726 --> 1:32:46.561
Who the fuck are you, man?
Easy, man!
1:32:46.644 --> 1:32:48.021
Relax, man.
1:32:49.105 --> 1:32:50.774
No physical harm intended.
1:32:50.857 --> 1:32:53.568
Who the fuck are you? Why
you following me around?
1:32:53.693 --> 1:32:56.863
Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man.
I'm a brother shamus.
1:32:57.864 --> 1:32:59.407
Miner
1:33:01.159 --> 1:33:02.827
Like an Irish monk?
1:33:02.911 --> 1:33:04.788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1:33:04.871 --> 1:33:08.833
My name is Da Fino. I'm a
private snoop, like you, man.
1:33:10.126 --> 1:33:12.170
What?
A dick, man.
1:33:12.253 --> 1:33:15.381
And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.
1:33:15.465 --> 1:33:18.426
Playing one side against the
other, in bed with everybody.
1:33:18.510 --> 1:33:20.887
Fabulous stuff, man.
I'm not...
1:33:20.970 --> 1:33:23.890
Fuck it, man. Just stay away
from my fucking lady friend.
1:33:23.973 --> 1:33:26.518
Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.
1:33:26.601 --> 1:33:29.104
She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.
1:33:29.229 --> 1:33:31.981
I'm just helping her conceive, man!
Hey, man. I'm not...
1:33:32.065 --> 1:33:34.526
Who are you working for?
Lebowski?
1:33:34.609 --> 1:33:36.027
Jackie Treehorn?
1:33:37.862 --> 1:33:39.364
The Kneutsons.
1:33:40.740 --> 1:33:43.368
Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?
1:33:43.451 --> 1:33:47.038
The Kneutsons, it's a
wandering daughter job.
1:33:48.414 --> 1:33:50.959
Bunny Lebowski, man.
1:33:51.042 --> 1:33:53.837
Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.
1:33:53.920 --> 1:33:55.880
Her parents
want her back, see?
1:33:57.048 --> 1:33:59.008
Jesus fucking Christ.
1:33:59.092 --> 1:34:02.011
Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.
1:34:02.095 --> 1:34:05.807
The Kneutsons told me I should
show her this when I found her.
1:34:05.890 --> 1:34:09.435
It's the family farm. It's
outside Moorhead, Minnesota.
1:34:09.561 --> 1:34:12.647
They think it'll make her homesick.
Oh, boy.
1:34:12.730 --> 1:34:14.357
How are you gonna keep them
down on the farm
1:34:14.440 --> 1:34:16.401
once they've seen
Karl Hungus?
1:34:17.026 --> 1:34:19.529
She's been kidnapped, DaFWm.
Oh,man.
1:34:19.612 --> 1:34:20.822
Or I don't know.
Maybe not.
1:34:20.905 --> 1:34:22.490
But she's definitely
not around.
1:34:22.574 --> 1:34:26.494
Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,
1:34:26.911 --> 1:34:28.746
trade information.
1:34:28.872 --> 1:34:30.665
Professional courtesy?
1:34:31.249 --> 1:34:32.333
Compeers.
You know what I mean?
1:34:32.417 --> 1:34:34.961
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.
1:34:35.044 --> 1:34:37.172
And stay away
from my special...
1:34:37.255 --> 1:34:40.175
From my fucking
lady friend, man!
1:34:42.760 --> 1:34:44.679
The lingonberry pancake.
1:34:49.184 --> 1:34:51.311
Lingonberry pancakes.
1:34:54.939 --> 1:34:56.774
Three pigs in blanket.
1:35:02.780 --> 1:35:04.657
She has
lingonberry pancakes.
1:35:13.416 --> 1:35:16.711
I mean, we totally fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.
1:35:16.794 --> 1:35:19.005
We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.
1:35:19.088 --> 1:35:21.341
And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,
1:35:21.424 --> 1:35:23.551
but he didn't do
anything, huh?
1:35:23.676 --> 1:35:25.887
Well, sometimes it's a cathartic...
No, no.
1:35:25.970 --> 1:35:28.264
I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,
1:35:28.348 --> 1:35:30.725
why does he leave me in charge
of getting his wife back?
1:35:30.808 --> 1:35:34.145
Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.
1:35:34.229 --> 1:35:37.398
He's had enough. He no longer digs her.
It's all a show.
1:35:37.482 --> 1:35:41.903
Okay, but then why doesn't he give
a shit about his million bucks?
1:35:41.986 --> 1:35:44.656
I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,
1:35:44.822 --> 1:35:46.824
but he
never asked for it back.
1:35:46.908 --> 1:35:49.994
The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.
1:35:50.662 --> 1:35:53.706
The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.
1:35:53.790 --> 1:35:56.459
The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.
1:35:56.542 --> 1:35:59.087
You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.
1:35:59.170 --> 1:36:02.924
Okay, but how does all this
add up to an emergency?
1:36:03.007 --> 1:36:07.220
I'm saying, I see what you're getting
at, Dude. He kept the money.
1:36:07.303 --> 1:36:09.138
My point is...
1:36:09.222 --> 1:36:12.433
Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,
1:36:12.517 --> 1:36:16.562
which I'm allowed to break only if
it's a matter of life or death.
1:36:16.646 --> 1:36:19.983
VVill you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
1:36:20.066 --> 1:36:21.734
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1:36:21.818 --> 1:36:23.194
Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!
1:36:23.278 --> 1:36:24.904
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1:36:24.988 --> 1:36:27.115
I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.
1:36:27.198 --> 1:36:29.200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know this.
1:36:29.284 --> 1:36:31.536
And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.
1:36:31.619 --> 1:36:33.121
So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,
1:36:33.204 --> 1:36:35.331
you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?
1:36:35.415 --> 1:36:38.501
You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.
1:36:38.584 --> 1:36:40.628
Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Man.
1:36:40.712 --> 1:36:44.966
You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.
1:36:45.049 --> 1:36:48.970
Man, taking care of her fucking dog,
going to her fucking synagogue.
1:36:49.053 --> 1:36:50.888
You're living in
the fucking past.
1:36:50.972 --> 1:36:54.309
Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.
1:36:54.392 --> 1:36:57.353
You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!
1:36:57.437 --> 1:36:59.564
I've... Jesus.
1:37:00.815 --> 1:37:02.734
What the hell happened?
1:37:03.651 --> 1:37:06.487
So viva Las Vegas
1:37:07.905 --> 1:37:10.825
Viva Las Vegas
1:37:15.747 --> 1:37:17.749
Let's go. Fuck it.
1:37:22.086 --> 1:37:23.504
Where was she, man?
1:37:23.588 --> 1:37:25.590
Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.
1:37:25.673 --> 1:37:28.092
She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.
1:37:28.176 --> 1:37:30.678
Well,I guess the fucking
nihilists knew where she was.
1:37:30.762 --> 1:37:32.930
Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.
1:37:33.056 --> 1:37:36.392
Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am I?
I'm a fucking veteran.
1:37:36.476 --> 1:37:37.685
Come on!
That's who I am.
1:37:37.769 --> 1:37:40.313
You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.
1:37:42.648 --> 1:37:44.025
So, man.
1:37:44.108 --> 1:37:47.904
So? She's back,
no thanks to you.
1:37:47.987 --> 1:37:50.365
Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?
1:37:50.448 --> 1:37:53.785
A million bucks from fucking,
needy, little Urban Achievers!
1:37:53.868 --> 1:37:55.370
You are scum, man!
1:37:55.453 --> 1:37:57.705
Who the hell is he?
Who am I? Who am I?
1:37:57.789 --> 1:37:59.374
Walter. I'm the guy that's
gonna kick your phony,
1:37:59.457 --> 1:38:00.792
gold-bricking ass, that's who I am.
Man.
1:38:00.875 --> 1:38:02.710
We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.
1:38:02.794 --> 1:38:04.837
We know you kept the million
bucks for yourself.
1:38:04.921 --> 1:38:06.506
You have your story,
I have mine.
1:38:06.589 --> 1:38:09.884
I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.
1:38:09.967 --> 1:38:13.179
As if we would ever dream of
taking your bullshit money!
1:38:13.262 --> 1:38:15.473
You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,
1:38:15.556 --> 1:38:17.141
and you were
fucking glad, man.
1:38:17.225 --> 1:38:19.477
You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.
1:38:19.560 --> 1:38:22.855
All you needed was a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.
1:38:22.939 --> 1:38:25.858
You... You human paraquat.
1:38:25.942 --> 1:38:29.404
You figured, "Oh, here's a
loser, you know, a deadbeat.
1:38:29.487 --> 1:38:32.073
"Somebody this square community
won't give a shit about."
1:38:32.156 --> 1:38:33.741
Well, aren't you?
1:38:34.992 --> 1:38:38.746
Well, yeah, but...
Get out, both of you.
1:38:38.830 --> 1:38:42.083
Look at that fucking phony, Dude,
pretending to be a fucking millionaire.
1:38:42.166 --> 1:38:44.460
Out of this house now,
you bums!
1:38:44.544 --> 1:38:46.129
Let me tell you
something else.
1:38:46.212 --> 1:38:49.966
I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.
1:38:50.675 --> 1:38:53.845
A fucking gold-bricker.
Stay away from me, mister!
1:38:53.928 --> 1:38:55.596
This guy fucking walks.
1:38:55.680 --> 1:38:58.015
I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
1:38:58.099 --> 1:38:59.267
You stay away from me!
1:38:59.350 --> 1:39:01.769
Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.
1:39:01.853 --> 1:39:03.563
I said! Get away from me!
Come on. Come on.
1:39:03.729 --> 1:39:07.191
Walter, put him down, man!
1:39:07.275 --> 1:39:10.945
Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!
1:39:28.212 --> 1:39:31.340
Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.
1:39:35.261 --> 1:39:37.263
At least they had the
fucking decency to tell us
1:39:37.346 --> 1:39:39.724
that we were fighting
the communists.
1:39:42.226 --> 1:39:45.646
Whereas this whole fucking
thing, this whole fucking thing
1:39:45.730 --> 1:39:48.566
is nothing about nothing,
about oil,
1:39:48.649 --> 1:39:50.985
which is what I personally
hear, Dude.
1:39:51.068 --> 1:39:53.362
Sure you'll see
some tank battles,
1:39:53.446 --> 1:39:56.991
but fighting in desert is very different
from fighting in canopyjungle.
1:39:58.075 --> 1:40:01.496
I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's
war, whereas this thing should...
1:40:02.455 --> 1:40:04.707
You know, should be
a piece of cake.
1:40:04.790 --> 1:40:08.211
I mean, I had an M16, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.
1:40:08.336 --> 1:40:11.714
Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah.
1:40:11.797 --> 1:40:14.133
That's fucking combat.
1:40:14.217 --> 1:40:17.094
The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.
1:40:17.178 --> 1:40:19.055
Worthy fucking adversary.
1:40:19.138 --> 1:40:22.558
Who's in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
1:40:22.642 --> 1:40:24.852
Whereas what we have here,
1:40:24.936 --> 1:40:27.104
a bunch of fig eaters wearing
towels on their head,
1:40:27.188 --> 1:40:29.357
trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.
1:40:30.233 --> 1:40:32.401
- This is not a worthy fucking adversary.
- Hey!
1:40:32.485 --> 1:40:34.529
What's this
day-of-rest shit?
1:40:34.612 --> 1:40:36.197
What's this bullshit?
1:40:36.280 --> 1:40:39.325
I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.
1:40:39.408 --> 1:40:40.868
But you not fooling me,
man.
1:40:40.952 --> 1:40:43.663
You might fool the fucks
in the league office
1:40:43.746 --> 1:40:46.040
but you don't fool Jesus.
1:40:46.207 --> 1:40:48.918
It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.
1:40:49.001 --> 1:40:50.419
Laughable, man!
1:40:51.587 --> 1:40:54.674
I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.
1:40:55.424 --> 1:40:58.344
I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.
1:40:59.804 --> 1:41:02.265
You got a date
VVednesday,baby!
1:41:07.144 --> 1:41:08.312
He's cracking.
1:41:08.396 --> 1:41:10.106
...the whole concept of age.
1:41:10.189 --> 1:41:12.400
I mean, many learned men
have disputed this
1:41:12.483 --> 1:41:15.319
but in the 14th century,
the Rambam...
1:41:25.329 --> 1:41:27.540
Well, they finally
did it.
1:41:27.623 --> 1:41:29.750
They killed
my fucking car.
1:41:29.834 --> 1:41:33.421
We want the money,
Lebowski.
1:41:33.504 --> 1:41:36.007
Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.
1:41:36.090 --> 1:41:39.594
Ja- It seems you have forgotten
our little deal, Lebowski.
1:41:39.677 --> 1:41:42.430
You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.
1:41:42.513 --> 1:41:44.765
We know you never did.
1:41:44.849 --> 1:41:46.434
Are these the Nazis,
Walter?
1:41:46.517 --> 1:41:48.227
No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.
1:41:48.311 --> 1:41:49.729
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
1:41:51.397 --> 1:41:52.481
We don't care.
1:41:52.565 --> 1:41:57.028
We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.
1:41:57.111 --> 1:41:59.780
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Cool it, Walter.
1:41:59.864 --> 1:42:03.701
No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.
1:42:03.784 --> 1:42:07.121
That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.
1:42:07.204 --> 1:42:09.540
His girlfriend
gave up her toe.
1:42:09.624 --> 1:42:11.959
She thought we could
get $1 million.
1:42:12.043 --> 1:42:14.545
It's not fair.
Fair?
1:42:14.629 --> 1:42:18.257
V\Iho's the fucking nihilists around
here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?
1:42:18.341 --> 1:42:20.718
Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.
1:42:20.801 --> 1:42:22.511
There never
was any money.
1:42:22.595 --> 1:42:24.722
The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,
1:42:24.805 --> 1:42:26.849
so take it up with him, man.
1:42:26.932 --> 1:42:29.477
And I would like
my undies back.
1:42:29.560 --> 1:42:30.770
Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?
1:42:30.853 --> 1:42:33.314
No, Donny.
These men are cowards.
1:42:33.397 --> 1:42:34.690
Okay!
1:42:34.774 --> 1:42:38.319
So we takes the money you have
on you, and we calls it even.
1:42:39.737 --> 1:42:41.781
Fuck you.
Hey, no. Come on, Walter.
1:42:41.864 --> 1:42:43.866
Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.
1:42:43.949 --> 1:42:46.535
No. What's mine is mine.
No, come on, Walter.
1:42:46.619 --> 1:42:48.829
No funny stuff.
All right. All right.
1:42:48.913 --> 1:42:53.668
No funny stuff.
I got 4 bucks, almost 5.
1:42:53.751 --> 1:42:56.337
- Igot$18.
- What's mine is mine.
1:42:56.420 --> 1:42:59.548
We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!
1:43:00.091 --> 1:43:01.425
Come and get it.
1:43:02.760 --> 1:43:07.014
We fuck you up! Show me
what you got, nihilists.
1:43:07.098 --> 1:43:09.558
I fuck you! Walter, come on.
He's got a sword.
1:43:09.642 --> 1:43:11.852
Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!
1:43:11.936 --> 1:43:15.773
I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!
1:43:21.946 --> 1:43:23.614
Take it easy, man.
I fuck you!
1:43:23.698 --> 1:43:25.616
Take the $4.
I fuck you!
1:43:29.954 --> 1:43:30.996
I fuck you!
1:43:31.080 --> 1:43:32.957
I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.
1:43:37.712 --> 1:43:39.839
Hey, dickhead!
Anti-Semite.
1:43:40.798 --> 1:43:43.509
I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!
1:43:43.592 --> 1:43:46.721
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1:43:46.804 --> 1:43:48.806
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1:43:55.062 --> 1:43:57.022
We got a man down, Dude!
1:44:00.735 --> 1:44:01.944
Oh, God. They shot him, man.
1:44:02.027 --> 1:44:04.238
He's not shot. No, Dude.
Are you shot, Donny?
1:44:04.363 --> 1:44:06.657
There weren't any shots fired.
Huh?
1:44:06.741 --> 1:44:09.994
It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.
1:44:10.536 --> 1:44:13.372
I'd go myself, but I'm pumping
blood, might pass out.
1:44:13.456 --> 1:44:16.751
Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.
1:44:16.834 --> 1:44:19.253
We got help choppering in.
1:44:46.781 --> 1:44:48.449
Hello, gentlemen.
1:44:48.532 --> 1:44:50.785
You are the bereaved?
Yeah, man.
1:44:51.452 --> 1:44:54.121
Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.
1:44:54.205 --> 1:44:56.499
Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak.
1:44:56.582 --> 1:44:58.834
The Dude actually is...
1:44:59.877 --> 1:45:01.796
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing.
1:45:03.631 --> 1:45:08.302
Yes. I understand you're
taking away the remains?
1:45:08.385 --> 1:45:09.553
Yeah.
1:45:10.304 --> 1:45:12.097
We have the urn.
1:45:13.474 --> 1:45:15.684
I assume this is credit card?
1:45:16.894 --> 1:45:17.978
Yeah.
1:45:32.660 --> 1:45:34.078
What's this?
1:45:34.829 --> 1:45:36.497
Now, that's for the urn.
1:45:36.580 --> 1:45:38.582
Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.
1:45:39.375 --> 1:45:42.002
Yes. So we were informed.
1:45:42.086 --> 1:45:45.840
However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to you
1:45:45.923 --> 1:45:47.508
in a receptacle.
1:45:48.759 --> 1:45:50.553
That's $180.
1:45:50.886 --> 1:45:54.807
It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1:45:55.140 --> 1:45:57.309
Well, can't we just...
$180?
1:45:57.393 --> 1:45:59.395
They range up to $3,000.
1:46:00.187 --> 1:46:03.315
We're... Can't we just rent
it from you, you know?
1:46:03.399 --> 1:46:06.193
Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.
1:46:06.318 --> 1:46:08.654
V\Ie're scattering the fucking ashes!
Walter, Walter.
1:46:08.737 --> 1:46:11.240
Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.
1:46:11.323 --> 1:46:13.701
Sir, please lower
your voices.
1:46:13.784 --> 1:46:17.872
Man, don't you have, you know,
something else we can put him in?
1:46:17.955 --> 1:46:18.998
You know?
1:46:19.081 --> 1:46:22.126
That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1:46:22.418 --> 1:46:24.003
God damn it!
1:46:26.130 --> 1:46:27.798
Is there a Ralph's
around here?
1:46:54.825 --> 1:46:57.494
Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.
1:46:58.746 --> 1:47:00.873
He was one of us.
1:47:00.956 --> 1:47:04.877
He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.
1:47:05.002 --> 1:47:08.756
And as a surfer he explored the
beaches of Southern California
1:47:08.839 --> 1:47:11.634
from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo
1:47:11.717 --> 1:47:14.303
and up to Pismo.
1:47:15.095 --> 1:47:16.347
He died...
1:47:17.348 --> 1:47:21.435
He died as so many young men of
his generation, before his time.
1:47:21.518 --> 1:47:24.688
In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,
1:47:24.813 --> 1:47:28.108
as you took so many bright,
flowering young men
1:47:28.192 --> 1:47:31.028
at Khe Sanh, at Ian Doc,
1:47:31.111 --> 1:47:32.863
at Hill 364.
1:47:34.156 --> 1:47:36.533
These young men
gave their lives,
1:47:37.117 --> 1:47:38.577
and so did Donny.
1:47:40.704 --> 1:47:42.706
Donny, who loved bowling.
1:47:45.751 --> 1:47:46.752
And so,
1:47:48.379 --> 1:47:50.756
Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,
1:47:52.049 --> 1:47:57.179
in accordance with what we think your
dying wishes might well have been,
1:47:58.514 --> 1:48:01.308
we commit your final
mortal remains
1:48:02.226 --> 1:48:04.603
to the bosom of
the Pacific Ocean
1:48:06.063 --> 1:48:08.065
which you loved so well.
1:48:10.401 --> 1:48:12.486
Good night, sweet prince.
1:48:27.626 --> 1:48:29.044
Shit.
1:48:30.963 --> 1:48:33.007
Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1:48:34.800 --> 1:48:37.928
Goddamn wind.
Fuck, god damn it, Walter!
1:48:38.012 --> 1:48:40.305
You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1:48:40.389 --> 1:48:42.599
Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!
1:48:42.683 --> 1:48:44.268
I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
1:48:44.351 --> 1:48:46.854
What was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I'm sorry.
1:48:46.937 --> 1:48:49.231
What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?
1:48:49.314 --> 1:48:51.316
Dude, I'm sorry. What the
fuck are you talking about?
1:48:51.400 --> 1:48:52.985
Dude, I'm sorry.
1:48:55.904 --> 1:48:57.114
Fucking...
1:49:04.121 --> 1:49:05.581
Fuck, Walter.
1:49:07.458 --> 1:49:08.959
Come on, Dude.
1:49:09.793 --> 1:49:11.462
Hey, fuck it, man.
1:49:15.382 --> 1:49:17.009
Let's go bowling.
1:49:40.491 --> 1:49:43.827
And when you're sittin' there
1:49:44.453 --> 1:49:47.581
In your silk upholstered chair
1:49:49.083 --> 1:49:53.128
Talkin' to some rich folks
that you know
1:49:56.465 --> 1:49:59.301
Well, I hope you don't see me
1:50:00.302 --> 1:50:03.514
In my ragged company
1:50:04.306 --> 1:50:09.353
Oh, but you know
I could never be alone
1:50:11.522 --> 1:50:14.525
Two oat sodas, Gary.
Right. Good luck tomorrow.
1:50:14.608 --> 1:50:18.070
Yeah, thanks, man. I was
sorry to hear about Donny.
1:50:18.153 --> 1:50:21.031
Oh, yeah. Well, you know,
1:50:21.865 --> 1:50:25.828
sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know...
1:50:25.911 --> 1:50:27.204
Hey, man.
1:50:27.996 --> 1:50:31.166
How do you do, Dude? I
wondered if I'd see you again.
1:50:31.250 --> 1:50:33.293
I wouldn't miss
the semis.
1:50:33.377 --> 1:50:35.003
Oh, yeah?
How's things been going?
1:50:35.087 --> 1:50:38.215
Well, you know, strikes and
gutters, ups and downs.
1:50:38.298 --> 1:50:41.009
Sure. I got you.
Yeah.
1:50:42.553 --> 1:50:43.595
Thanks, Gary.
1:50:43.679 --> 1:50:46.014
Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.
1:50:46.098 --> 1:50:49.143
Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.
1:50:49.226 --> 1:50:51.311
I know that you will.
1:50:51.395 --> 1:50:54.731
Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.
1:50:58.735 --> 1:50:59.945
Walter.
1:51:01.655 --> 1:51:03.615
The Dude abides.
1:51:07.536 --> 1:51:10.873
I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.
1:51:12.166 --> 1:51:14.376
It's good knowing
he's out there,
1:51:14.459 --> 1:51:18.547
the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.
1:51:21.258 --> 1:51:23.427
I sure hope
he makes the finals.
1:51:25.053 --> 1:51:27.181
Well, that about does her.
1:51:27.264 --> 1:51:28.765
Wraps her all up.
1:51:30.350 --> 1:51:33.812
Things seem to have worked out
pretty good for the Dude and Walter.
1:51:34.479 --> 1:51:37.774
And it was a pretty good
story, don't you think?
1:51:38.609 --> 1:51:40.944
Made me laugh
to beat the band.
1:51:41.612 --> 1:51:43.071
Parts anyway.
1:51:44.615 --> 1:51:46.783
I didn't like seeing Donny go.
1:51:47.910 --> 1:51:52.956
But then I happen to know that there's
a little Lebowski on the way.
1:51:54.625 --> 1:51:57.961
I guess that's the way the whole
darned human comedy keeps
1:51:58.503 --> 1:52:00.839
perpetuating itself
1:52:00.923 --> 1:52:03.091
down through the generations.
1:52:03.592 --> 1:52:07.846
Westward the wagons, across
the sands of time until we...
1:52:09.056 --> 1:52:12.267
Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.
1:52:13.644 --> 1:52:16.146
Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.
1:52:16.647 --> 1:52:18.982
Catch you later on
down the trail.
1:52:20.150 --> 1:52:23.278
Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?
1:52:46.218 --> 1:52:50.222
Take me down, little Susie
1:52:50.305 --> 1:52:52.140
Take me down
1:52:55.435 --> 1:52:57.938
I know you think
you're the queen
1:52:58.021 --> 1:53:00.148
Of the underground
1:53:03.860 --> 1:53:08.824
Send me dead flowers
every morning
1:53:12.202 --> 1:53:16.707
Send me dead flowers
by the mail
1:53:20.502 --> 1:53:24.965
Send me dead flowers
to my wedding
1:53:27.509 --> 1:53:34.474
And I won't forget to put
roses on your grave
1:53:35.767 --> 1:53:40.105
No, I won't forget
to put roses
1:53:40.188 --> 1:53:44.484
On your grave
1:54:09.593 --> 1:54:14.139
Bright light city
gonna set my soul
1:54:14.598 --> 1:54:18.310
Gonna set my soul on fire
1:54:19.644 --> 1:54:24.775
Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn
1:54:24.858 --> 1:54:28.487
So get those stakes up higher
1:54:30.072 --> 1:54:34.826
There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out there
1:54:35.577 --> 1:54:40.665
They're all livin'
devil may care
1:54:40.749 --> 1:54:45.212
And I'm just a devil
with love to spare
1:54:45.295 --> 1:54:49.549
So viva Las Vegas
1:54:51.093 --> 1:54:55.138
Viva Las Vegas
1:54:58.850 --> 1:55:03.522
Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashing
1:55:03.605 --> 1:55:06.566
And your one-arm
bandits crashing
1:55:06.650 --> 1:55:10.237
All those hopes down the drain
1:55:11.822 --> 1:55:16.993
Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttime
1:55:17.077 --> 1:55:19.579
Night into daytime
1:55:19.663 --> 1:55:21.832
If you see it once
1:55:21.915 --> 1:55:28.338
You'll never be the same again
1:55:30.382 --> 1:55:34.845
I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'
1:55:34.928 --> 1:55:38.682
If it costs me
my very last dime
1:55:40.183 --> 1:55:42.519
If I wind up broke
1:55:42.602 --> 1:55:44.813
Well, I'll always remember
1:55:44.896 --> 1:55:48.942
That I had a swingin' time
1:55:50.777 --> 1:55:54.865
I'm gonna give it
everything I've got
1:55:55.991 --> 1:56:00.203
Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hot
1:56:01.121 --> 1:56:05.625
Let me shoot a seven
on every shot
1:56:05.709 --> 1:56:09.921
So viva Las Vegas
1:56:11.465 --> 1:56:15.218
Viva Las Vegas
1:56:16.595 --> 1:56:20.807
Viva Las Vegas
1:56:21.683 --> 1:56:23.560
Viva
1:56:24.561 --> 1:56:26.062
Viva
1:56:27.022 --> 1:56:28.523
Viva
1:56:29.608 --> 1:56:32.861
Viva
1:56:34.112 --> 1:56:40.911
Las Vegas
1:56:45.248 --> 1:56:48.585
Viva