WEBVTT
00:36.329 --> 00:38.331
[child coughing]
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- [coughing continues]
- [TV turns on]
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[electronic notes:
"Take Me Out to the Ball Game"]
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[game beeping]
01:01.688 --> 01:04.357
- Hi, honey.
- Hi, Mom.
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You feeling any better?
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A little bit.
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- Guess what.
- What?
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Your grandfather's here.
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Mom, can't you tell him I'm sick?
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You're sick. That's why he's here.
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He'll pinch my cheek.
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I hate that.
01:26.421 --> 01:28.131
Maybe he won't.
01:28.757 --> 01:31.634
Hey! How is the sickie?
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Huh?
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I think I'll leave you two pals alone.
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I brought ya a special present.
01:41.102 --> 01:42.812
- What is it?
- Open it up.
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- A book?
- That's right.
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When I was your age,
television was called books.
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And this is a special book.
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It was the book my father
used to read to me when I was sick,
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and I used to read it to your father.
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And today, I'm gonna read it to you.
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- Does it got any sports in it?
- Are you kidding?
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Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge,
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giants, monsters, chases, escapes,
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true love, miracles.
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Doesn't sound too bad.
02:20.308 --> 02:22.727
- I'll try and stay awake.
- Oh.
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Well, thank you very much.
That's very nice of you.
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Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.
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All right.
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The Princess Bride...
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by S. Morgenstern.
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Chapter one.
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"Buttercup was raised on a small farm
in the country of Florin.
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Her favorite pastimes
were riding her horse
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and tormenting the farm boy
that worked there.
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His name was Westley,
but she never called him that."
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Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
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[grandson]
Yeah, it's really good.
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[grandfather] "Nothing gave Buttercup
as much pleasure as ordering Westley around."
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Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle.
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I want to see my face
shining in it by morning.
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As you wish.
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[grandfather]
"'As you wish' was all he ever said to her."
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Farm boy, fill these with water.
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Please?
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As you wish.
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[grandfather]
"That day, she was amazed to discover
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that when he was saying 'as you wish, '
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what he meant was 'I love you. '
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And even more amazing was the day
she realized she truly loved him back."
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Farm boy.
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Fetch me that pitcher?
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[whispers]
As you wish.
04:26.059 --> 04:27.977
[grandson]
Hold it. Hold it.
04:28.061 --> 04:30.897
What is this?
Are you tryin' to trick me?
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Wh-Where's the sports?
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Is this a kissing book?
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Wait. Just wait.
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Well, when does it get good?
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All right, keep your shirt on. Let me read.
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"Westley had no money for marriage,
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so he packed his few belongings
and left the farm
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to seek his fortune across the sea.
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It was a very emotional time
for Buttercup."
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[grandson]
I don't believe this.
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I fear I'll never see you again.
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Of course you will.
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But what if something happens to you?
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Hear this now.
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I will always come for you.
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But how can you be sure?
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This is true love.
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Think this happens every day?
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[grandfather]
"Westley didn't reach his destination.
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His ship was attacked
by the Dread Pirate Roberts,
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who never left captives alive.
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When Buttercup got the news
that Westley was murdered ‒"
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[grandson]
Murdered by pirates is good.
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"she went into her room
and shut the door.
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And for days, she neither slept nor ate."
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I will never love again.
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[sheep bleating]
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"Five years later,
the main square of Florin City
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was filled as never before
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to hear the announcement of
the great Prince Humperdinck's bride-to-be."
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[fanfare playing]
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My people,
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a month from now,
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our country will have
its 500th anniversary.
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On that sundown,
I shall marry a lady
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who was once
a commoner like yourselves.
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But perhaps
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you will not find her common now.
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- Would you like to meet her?
- Yes!
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My people,
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the princess Buttercup!
06:52.538 --> 06:55.833
[horns playing fanfare]
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[crowd murmuring]
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[grandfather]
"Buttercup's emptiness consumed her.
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Although the law of the land gave Humperdinck
the right to choose his bride,
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she did not love him.
07:27.198 --> 07:31.285
Despite Humperdinck's reassurance
that she would grow to love him,
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the only joy she found
was in her daily ride."
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- [horse whinnies]
- [man] A word, my lady?
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We are but poor, lost circus performers.
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Is there a village nearby?
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There is nothing nearby, not for miles.
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Then there will be
no one to hear you scream.
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[stifled scream]
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What is that you're ripping?
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It's fabric from the uniform
of an army officer of Guilder.
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Who is Guilder?
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The country across the sea.
The sworn enemy of Florin.
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- Go!
- [horse whinnies]
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Once the horse reaches the castle,
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the fabric will make the prince suspect
that the Guilderians have abducted his love.
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When he finds her body dead
on the Guilder frontier,
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his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
08:33.848 --> 08:36.350
You never said anything
about killing anyone.
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I've hired you to help me start a war.
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It's a prestigious line of work
with a long and glorious tradition.
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I just don't think it's right,
killing an innocent girl.
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Am I going mad,
or did the word "think" escape your lips?
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You were not hired for your brains,
you hippopotamic landmass!
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I agree with Fezzik.
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Oh, the sot has spoken.
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What happens to her
is not truly your concern.
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I will kill her.
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And remember this. Never forget this!
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When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk
you couldn't buy brandy!
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And you!
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Friendless. Brainless.
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Helpless! Hopeless!
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Do you want me to send you back
to where you were?
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Unemployed in Greenland?
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That Vizzini, he can fuss.
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"Fuss." "Fuss."
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I think he like to scream at us.
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Probably he means no harm.
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He's very, very short on charm.
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You have a great gift for rhyme.
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- Yes. Yes. Some of the time.
- [Vizzini] Enough of that!
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[Man]
Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
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[Fezzik]
If there are, we all be dead.
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[Vizzini]
No more rhymes! Now, I mean it!
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- [Fezzik] Anybody want a peanut?
- [Vizzini yells]
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We'll reach the cliffs by dawn.
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- Why are you doing that?
- Making sure nobody's follow us.
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That would be inconceivable.
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Despite what you think,
you will be caught.
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And when you are,
the prince will see you all hanged.
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Of all the necks on this boat, Highness,
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the one you should be
worrying about is your own.
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Stop doing that!
We can all relax. It's almost over.
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- You are sure nobody's follow us?
- [Vizzini] As I told you,
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it would be absolutely, totally
and in all other ways inconceivable.
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No one in Guilder knows what we've done.
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And no one in Florin
could've gotten here so fast.
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Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
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No reason. Suddenly, I just happened
to look behind us and something is there.
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What?
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Probably some local fisherman
out for a pleasure cruise at night
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through eel-infested waters.
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[loud splash]
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What? Go in! Get after her!
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I don't swim.
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I only dog paddle.
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[shouts]
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Veer left!
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Left! Left!
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[shrieking sounds]
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[Vizzini] Do you know
what that sound is, Highness?
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Those are the shrieking eels!
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If you don't believe me, just wait.
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They always grow louder
when they're about to feed on human flesh!
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[gasps]
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If you swim back now, I promise,
no harm will come to you.
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I doubt you'll get such an offer
from the eels.
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[shrieking continues]
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She doesn't get eaten
by the eels at this time.
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- What?
- The eel doesn't get her.
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I'm explaining to you
because you look nervous.
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Uh... I wasn't nervous.
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Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned,
but that's not the same thing.
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Because we can stop now if you want.
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No, you could read a little bit more,
if you want.
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Mmm.
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"Do you know what
that sound is, Highness?
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Those are the shrieking eels."
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We're past that, Grandpa.
You read it already.
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Oh ‒ Oh, my goodness. I did.
I'm sorry. Beg your pardon.
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All right, all right. Let's see.
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She was in the water.
The eel was comin' after her.
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She was frightened.
The eel started to charge her, and then ‒
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Put her down. Just put her down.
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I think he's getting closer.
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He's no concern of ours! Sail on!
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I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?
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Only compared to some.
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[man]
Look! He's right on top of us!
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I wonder if he is using
the same wind we are using.
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Whoever he is, he's too late. See?
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The Cliffs of Insanity!
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Hurry up!
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Move the thing!
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And that other thing!
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Move it!
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We're safe. Only Fezzik
is strong enough to go up our way.
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He'll have to sail around for hours
till he finds a harbor.
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He's climbing the rope,
and he's gaining on us.
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Inconceivable.
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- Faster!
- [Fezzik] I thought I was going faster.
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You were supposed to be
this colossus.
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You were this great, legendary thing!
And yet he gains!
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Well, I'm carrying three people,
and he got only himself.
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I do not accept excuses. I'm just going to
have to find myself a new giant, that's all.
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Don't say that, Vizzini. Please?
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Did I make it clear
that your job is at stake?
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He's got very good arms.
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He didn't fall? Inconceivable.
16:46.882 --> 16:50.803
You keep using that word. I do not think
it means what you think it means.
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My God. He's climbing.
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Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us
with the princess and must therefore die.
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You, carry her.
We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier.
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Catch up when he's dead.
If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.
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I'm going to duel him left-handed.
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You know what a hurry we're in!
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It's the only way I can be satisfied.
17:13.742 --> 17:18.455
- If I use my right, over too quickly.
- Oh, have it your way.
17:26.004 --> 17:29.007
You be careful.
People in masks cannot be trusted.
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I'm waiting!
17:45.274 --> 17:46.442
Hello there!
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Slow going?
17:52.489 --> 17:55.784
Look, I don't mean to be rude,
but this is not as easy as it looks,
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so I'd appreciate it
if you wouldn't distract me.
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- Sorry.
- Thank you.
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I do not suppose
you could speed things up?
18:12.468 --> 18:16.388
If you're in such a hurry,
you could lower a rope or a tree branch
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or find something useful to do.
18:19.391 --> 18:23.061
I could do that.
I think I've got some rope up here.
18:23.145 --> 18:25.063
But I do not think
you would accept my help
18:25.147 --> 18:27.316
since I am only
waiting around to kill you.
18:28.108 --> 18:30.569
That does put a damper
on our relationship.
18:30.652 --> 18:35.115
But I promise I will not kill you
until you reach the top.
18:35.199 --> 18:39.244
That's very comforting,
but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
18:39.328 --> 18:40.788
I hate waiting.
18:42.039 --> 18:44.166
I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
18:44.249 --> 18:47.753
No good.
I've known too many Spaniards.
18:47.836 --> 18:49.922
Is there any way you'll trust me?
18:50.005 --> 18:52.049
Nothing comes to mind.
18:52.883 --> 18:55.761
I swear on the soul of my father,
Domingo Montoya.
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You will reach the top alive.
18:59.431 --> 19:00.933
Throw me the rope.
19:30.546 --> 19:32.464
Thank you.
19:32.548 --> 19:34.967
W-W-We'll wait until you're ready.
19:36.176 --> 19:37.886
Again, thank you.
19:50.858 --> 19:53.610
I do not mean to pry,
19:53.694 --> 19:57.406
but you don't, by any chance, happen
to have six fingers on your right hand?
19:59.199 --> 20:01.243
Do you always
begin conversations this way?
20:01.910 --> 20:04.913
My father was slaughtered
by a six-fingered man.
20:10.961 --> 20:13.839
He was a great sword maker, my father.
20:13.922 --> 20:16.466
When the six-fingered man appear
and request a special sword,
20:16.550 --> 20:18.302
my father took the job.
20:19.928 --> 20:22.306
He slave a year before he was done.
20:32.524 --> 20:34.192
I've never seen its equal.
20:35.903 --> 20:39.072
The six-fingered man
returned and demanded it,
20:39.156 --> 20:42.409
but at one-tenth his promised price.
20:42.492 --> 20:44.703
My father refuse.
20:44.786 --> 20:48.707
Without a word, the six-fingered man
slash him through the heart.
20:50.250 --> 20:51.710
I love my father.
20:51.793 --> 20:55.422
So naturally,
I challenge his murderer to a duel.
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I fail.
20:59.635 --> 21:02.346
Six-fingered man leave me alive.
21:03.513 --> 21:05.515
But he gave me this.
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- How old were you?
- I was 11 years old.
21:12.230 --> 21:14.524
When I was strong enough,
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I dedicate my life to the study of fencing.
21:18.737 --> 21:23.033
So the next time we meet,
I will not fail.
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I will go up to
the six-fingered man and say,
21:28.038 --> 21:29.998
"Hello.
21:30.082 --> 21:32.167
My name is Inigo Montoya.
21:33.001 --> 21:35.545
You killed my father.
21:35.629 --> 21:37.881
Prepare to die."
21:39.174 --> 21:41.343
You've done nothing but study swordplay?
21:42.260 --> 21:44.554
More pursue it than study lately.
21:45.263 --> 21:47.224
You see, I cannot find him.
21:47.307 --> 21:50.435
It's been 20 years now.
I am starting to lose confidence.
21:50.519 --> 21:54.815
I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills.
Not a lot of money in revenge.
21:57.150 --> 21:59.945
Well, I ‒ I certainly hope
you find him someday.
22:00.070 --> 22:02.990
- You are ready then?
- Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
22:03.073 --> 22:06.451
You seem a decent fellow.
I hate to kill you.
22:06.535 --> 22:09.371
You seem a decent fellow.
I hate to die.
22:10.914 --> 22:12.124
Begin.
22:44.531 --> 22:46.783
You are using Bonetti's defense
against me, huh?
22:46.867 --> 22:50.787
- I thought it fitting considering the rocky terrain.
- Naturally.
22:50.871 --> 22:53.582
- You must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro.
- Naturally.
22:53.665 --> 22:56.710
But I find Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro.
Don't you?
22:58.503 --> 23:00.380
Unless the enemy has study his Agrippa.
23:02.340 --> 23:03.550
Which I have.
23:08.680 --> 23:10.724
- You are wonderful.
- Thank you.
23:10.807 --> 23:14.352
- I've worked hard to become so.
- I admit that you are better than I am.
23:14.436 --> 23:17.814
- Then why are you smiling?
- Because I know something you don't know.
23:17.898 --> 23:21.735
- And what is that?
- I am not left-handed.
23:32.287 --> 23:35.791
- You are amazing.
- I ought to be after 20 years.
23:35.874 --> 23:39.294
- There's something I ought to tell you.
- Tell me.
23:39.377 --> 23:41.880
I'm not left-handed either.
24:08.323 --> 24:09.658
Who are you?
24:09.741 --> 24:11.284
No one of consequence.
24:11.368 --> 24:12.869
I must know.
24:12.953 --> 24:14.621
Get used to disappointment.
24:14.704 --> 24:16.289
Okay.
24:59.082 --> 25:01.042
Kill me quickly.
25:01.126 --> 25:04.546
I would as soon destroy a stained-glass window
as an artist like yourself.
25:04.629 --> 25:07.716
However, since I can't have you
following me either ‒
25:11.303 --> 25:14.639
Please understand
I hold you in the highest respect.
25:25.984 --> 25:27.485
Inconceivable!
25:27.569 --> 25:30.280
Give her to me.
Catch up with us quickly.
25:30.363 --> 25:32.032
- What do I do?
- Finish him.
25:32.115 --> 25:33.742
Finish him your way!
25:33.825 --> 25:36.369
Oh, good. My way.
Thank you, Vizzini.
25:37.621 --> 25:38.997
Which way is my way?
25:39.789 --> 25:42.584
Pick up one of those rocks.
Get behind the boulder.
25:42.667 --> 25:45.712
In a few minutes, the man in black
will come running around the bend.
25:45.795 --> 25:49.466
The minute his head is in view,
hit it with the rock!
25:51.509 --> 25:54.054
My way is not very sportsmanlike.
26:23.333 --> 26:26.711
I did that on purpose.
I didn't have to miss.
26:26.795 --> 26:28.338
I believe you.
26:29.756 --> 26:31.383
So what happens now?
26:31.466 --> 26:34.010
We face each other as God intended.
26:34.094 --> 26:37.931
Sportsmanlike.
No tricks. No weapons.
26:38.014 --> 26:39.516
Skill against skill alone.
26:39.599 --> 26:43.061
You mean, you'll put down your rock
and I'll put down my sword
26:43.144 --> 26:45.647
and we'll try and kill each other
like civilized people?
26:46.273 --> 26:48.108
I could kill you now.
26:48.191 --> 26:49.484
Frankly...
26:50.360 --> 26:53.571
I think the odds are slightly in your favor
at hand fighting.
26:53.655 --> 26:57.033
It's not my fault
being the biggest and the strongest.
26:57.117 --> 26:58.952
I don't even exercise.
27:04.082 --> 27:05.875
[groans]
27:10.422 --> 27:13.300
[grunting]
27:18.763 --> 27:21.391
Look, are you just fiddling around
with me or what?
27:21.474 --> 27:23.977
I just want you to feel you are doing well.
27:24.060 --> 27:25.937
I hate for people to die embarrassed.
27:28.481 --> 27:29.566
You're quick.
27:29.649 --> 27:32.235
- And a good thing too.
- Why do you wear a mask?
27:32.319 --> 27:34.696
Were you burned by acid or something like that?
27:34.779 --> 27:36.531
Oh, no, it's just they're
terribly comfortable.
27:36.614 --> 27:38.742
I think everyone will be
wearing them in the future.
27:42.579 --> 27:45.790
[grunting] I just figured why
you give me so much trouble.
27:46.958 --> 27:47.876
[groans]
27:47.959 --> 27:50.628
Why is that, do you think?
27:50.712 --> 27:54.090
Well, I haven't fought just one person...
27:54.674 --> 27:56.509
for so long.
27:57.385 --> 27:59.763
Been specializing in groups,
27:59.846 --> 28:02.682
battling gangs for local charities.
28:02.766 --> 28:04.184
That kind of thing.
28:04.267 --> 28:05.268
[groans]
28:06.144 --> 28:09.230
Why should that make
such a ‒ [groans] difference?
28:09.314 --> 28:10.440
Well, you see,
28:10.523 --> 28:12.525
you use different moves
28:12.609 --> 28:14.277
when you're fighting...
28:14.361 --> 28:16.821
half a dozen... people...
28:17.739 --> 28:19.449
than when you only...
28:19.532 --> 28:22.535
have to be worried... about one.
28:35.757 --> 28:38.927
I do not envy you the headache
you will have when you awake.
28:39.010 --> 28:43.014
But in the meantime,
rest well and dream of large women.
29:01.074 --> 29:04.911
There was a mighty duel.
29:07.455 --> 29:09.624
It ranged all over.
29:09.707 --> 29:11.709
They were both masters.
29:11.793 --> 29:14.129
Who won? How did it end?
29:14.754 --> 29:17.674
The loser ran off alone,
29:19.175 --> 29:20.468
but the winner...
29:21.469 --> 29:25.181
followed those footprints toward Guilder.
29:25.265 --> 29:26.724
Shall we track them both?
29:27.725 --> 29:30.854
The loser is nothing.
Only the princess matters.
29:32.272 --> 29:34.607
Clearly this was all planned
by warriors of Guilder.
29:34.691 --> 29:37.569
We must all be ready
for whatever lies ahead.
29:38.153 --> 29:39.404
Could this be a trap?
29:39.487 --> 29:44.033
I always think everything could be a trap,
which is why I'm still alive.
29:44.117 --> 29:45.326
[horse whinnies]
29:54.794 --> 29:58.965
So, it is down to you,
and it is down to me.
30:02.010 --> 30:05.221
If you wish her dead,
by all means keep moving forward.
30:07.015 --> 30:09.642
- Let me explain.
- There's nothing to explain.
30:09.726 --> 30:12.479
You're trying to kidnap
what I've rightfully stolen.
30:12.562 --> 30:15.398
Perhaps an arrangement can be reached?
30:15.482 --> 30:17.484
There will be no arrangement.
30:17.567 --> 30:19.194
And you're killing her.
30:21.988 --> 30:25.450
Well, if there can be no arrangement,
then we are at an impasse.
30:25.533 --> 30:27.285
I'm afraid so.
30:27.368 --> 30:29.704
I can't compete with you physically,
30:29.787 --> 30:31.956
and you're no match for my brains.
30:32.040 --> 30:34.167
- You're that smart?
- Let me put it this way.
30:34.250 --> 30:38.046
Have you ever heard of Plato?
Aristotle? Socrates?
30:38.129 --> 30:39.631
- Yes.
- Morons.
30:39.714 --> 30:41.007
Really?
30:42.091 --> 30:44.552
In that case,
I challenge you to a battle of wits.
30:44.636 --> 30:45.929
For the princess?
30:47.138 --> 30:48.348
To the death?
30:49.557 --> 30:51.059
I accept.
30:51.142 --> 30:52.977
Good. Then pour the wine.
31:08.785 --> 31:10.912
Inhale this, but do not touch.
31:12.247 --> 31:14.541
[sniffs] I smell nothing.
31:14.624 --> 31:17.043
What you do not smell
is called iocane powder.
31:17.126 --> 31:19.546
It is odorless, tasteless,
dissolves instantly in liquid,
31:19.629 --> 31:22.006
and is among the more deadly poisons
known to man.
31:22.090 --> 31:23.091
Hmm.
31:45.280 --> 31:48.199
All right. Where is the poison?
31:48.283 --> 31:49.867
The battle of wits has begun.
31:49.951 --> 31:51.911
It ends when you decide
and we both drink
31:51.995 --> 31:55.873
and find out who is right
and who is dead.
31:55.957 --> 31:58.209
But it's so simple.
31:58.293 --> 32:01.546
All I have to do is
divine from what I know of you.
32:01.629 --> 32:06.217
Are you the sort of man who would put the poison
into his own goblet or his enemy's?
32:06.301 --> 32:09.178
Now, a clever man would put the poison
into his own goblet
32:09.262 --> 32:12.432
because he would know that only a great fool
would reach for what he was given.
32:12.515 --> 32:16.811
I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not
choose the wine in front of you.
32:16.894 --> 32:19.355
But you must have known
I was not a great fool.
32:19.439 --> 32:23.693
You would've counted on it. So I can clearly
not choose the wine in front of me.
32:23.776 --> 32:26.487
- You've made your decision then?
- Not remotely.
32:26.571 --> 32:29.949
Because iocane comes from Australia,
as everyone knows.
32:30.033 --> 32:32.410
And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals.
32:32.493 --> 32:36.539
And criminals are used to having people
not trust them, as you are not trusted by me.
32:36.623 --> 32:39.083
So I can clearly not choose
the wine in front of you.
32:39.167 --> 32:41.252
Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
32:41.336 --> 32:43.421
Wait till I get going!
32:43.504 --> 32:45.256
- Where was I?
- Australia.
32:45.340 --> 32:49.177
Yes. Australia. And you must have suspected
I would've known the powder's origin.
32:49.260 --> 32:51.554
So I can clearly not choose
the wine in front of me.
32:51.638 --> 32:55.433
- You're just stalling now.
- You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
32:55.516 --> 32:58.436
You've beaten my giant,
which means you're exceptionally strong.
32:58.561 --> 33:02.190
So you could've put the poison in your own goblet,
trusting on your strength to save you,
33:02.273 --> 33:04.984
so I can clearly not choose
the wine in front of you.
33:05.068 --> 33:08.738
But you've also bested my Spaniard,
which means you must've studied.
33:08.821 --> 33:11.824
And in studying, you must've
learned that man is mortal.
33:11.908 --> 33:15.203
So you would've put the poison
as far from yourself as possible,
33:15.286 --> 33:18.039
so I can clearly not choose
the wine in front of me.
33:18.122 --> 33:21.167
You're trying to trick me into
giving away something. It won't work.
33:21.250 --> 33:25.088
It has worked! You've given everything away!
I know where the poison is!
33:25.171 --> 33:27.590
- Then make your choice.
- I will, and I choose ‒
33:27.674 --> 33:29.634
[gasps]
What in the world can that be?
33:29.717 --> 33:31.010
What? Where?
33:32.762 --> 33:34.222
I don't see anything.
33:34.305 --> 33:38.101
Well, I-I could've sworn I saw something.
No matter. Hmm.
33:38.184 --> 33:40.186
[chuckling]
33:40.269 --> 33:43.815
- What's so funny?
- I-I'll tell you in a minute.
33:43.898 --> 33:45.650
First, let's drink.
33:45.733 --> 33:48.486
Me from my glass,
and you from yours.
34:01.416 --> 34:02.875
[chuckles]
34:02.959 --> 34:05.837
- You guessed wrong.
- You only think I guessed wrong.
34:05.920 --> 34:09.090
That's what's so funny!
I switched glasses when your back was turned!
34:09.173 --> 34:10.591
[laughs] You fool!
34:10.675 --> 34:13.177
You fell victim
to one of the classic blunders.
34:13.261 --> 34:16.305
The most famous is
never get involved in a land war in Asia.
34:16.389 --> 34:19.350
But only slightly less well known is this:
34:19.434 --> 34:23.521
never go in against a Sicilian
when death is on the line!
34:23.604 --> 34:27.191
[laughing maniacally]
34:38.703 --> 34:41.622
- Who are you?
- I am no one to be trifled with.
34:41.706 --> 34:44.167
That is all you ever need know.
34:44.250 --> 34:47.754
To think, all that time
it was your cup that was poisoned.
34:47.837 --> 34:49.255
They were both poisoned.
34:50.673 --> 34:53.968
I spent the last few years building up
an immunity to iocane powder.
34:57.472 --> 34:59.682
Someone has beaten the giant.
35:01.768 --> 35:05.480
There will be great suffering in Guilder
if she dies.
35:20.411 --> 35:21.746
- [gasps]
- Catch your breath.
35:21.829 --> 35:26.292
If you'll release me, whatever you ask
for ransom you'll get it. I promise you.
35:26.375 --> 35:28.795
[laughs]
35:28.878 --> 35:31.339
And what is that worth,
the promise of a woman?
35:31.422 --> 35:32.840
You're very funny, Highness.
35:33.341 --> 35:37.136
I was giving you a chance.
It does not matter where you take me.
35:37.220 --> 35:39.555
There's no greater hunter
than Prince Humperdinck.
35:39.639 --> 35:42.892
He can track a falcon on a cloudy day.
He can find you.
35:42.975 --> 35:46.604
- You think your dearest love will save you?
- I never said he was my dearest love.
35:46.687 --> 35:48.940
And yes, he will save me.
That I know.
35:49.732 --> 35:52.568
You admit to me you do not love your fiancé.
35:52.652 --> 35:54.278
He knows I do not love him.
35:54.362 --> 35:56.489
"Are not capable of love" is what you mean.
35:58.866 --> 36:02.745
I have loved more deeply
than a killer like yourself could ever dream ‒
36:06.040 --> 36:09.377
That was a warning, Highness.
The next time, my hand flies on its own.
36:09.460 --> 36:12.296
For where I come from,
there are penalties when a woman lies.
36:18.553 --> 36:20.805
Iocane. I'd bet my life on it.
36:21.973 --> 36:24.267
And there are the princess's footprints.
36:24.350 --> 36:27.061
She is alive, or was an hour ago.
36:27.645 --> 36:30.231
If she is otherwise when I find her,
36:30.314 --> 36:32.608
I shall be very put out.
36:38.573 --> 36:41.200
- Rest, Highness.
- I know who you are.
36:41.284 --> 36:43.452
Your cruelty reveals everything.
36:43.536 --> 36:45.663
You're the Dread Pirate Roberts.
Admit it.
36:45.746 --> 36:49.166
With pride. What can I do for you?
36:49.250 --> 36:52.169
You can die slowly,
cut into a thousand pieces.
36:52.253 --> 36:56.132
Tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk.
Hardly complimentary, Your Highness.
36:56.215 --> 36:57.800
Why loose your venom on me?
36:58.843 --> 37:00.845
You killed my love.
37:00.928 --> 37:02.388
It's possible.
37:03.180 --> 37:04.557
I kill a lot of people.
37:06.058 --> 37:09.437
Who was this love of yours?
Another prince like this one?
37:10.521 --> 37:12.565
Ugly and rich and scabby?
37:12.648 --> 37:15.943
No. A farm boy. Poor.
37:16.027 --> 37:17.862
Poor and perfect,
37:19.030 --> 37:21.699
with eyes like the sea after a storm.
37:25.328 --> 37:29.248
On the high seas your ship attacked.
The Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
37:29.332 --> 37:31.250
I can't afford to make exceptions.
37:31.334 --> 37:34.295
Once word leaks out a pirate has gone soft,
people begin to disobey you,
37:34.378 --> 37:36.714
and then it's nothing
but work, work, work all the time.
37:36.797 --> 37:38.174
You mock my pain!
37:38.257 --> 37:40.760
Life is pain, Highness.
37:40.843 --> 37:43.054
Anyone who says differently
is selling something.
37:47.058 --> 37:49.769
I remember this farm boy of yours, I think.
37:51.020 --> 37:53.189
This would be what? Five years ago?
37:54.273 --> 37:56.609
Does it bother you to hear?
37:56.692 --> 37:59.403
Nothing you can say will upset me.
37:59.487 --> 38:01.072
He died well.
38:01.155 --> 38:03.199
That should please you.
38:03.282 --> 38:05.409
No bribe attempts or blubbering.
38:06.953 --> 38:08.746
He simply said, "Please.
38:09.914 --> 38:12.208
Please, I need to live."
38:12.291 --> 38:15.711
It was the "please"
that caught my memory.
38:15.795 --> 38:17.838
I asked him what was
so important for him.
38:18.589 --> 38:20.091
"True love," he replied.
38:23.427 --> 38:26.973
And then he spoke of a girl
of surpassing beauty and faithfulness.
38:27.056 --> 38:29.600
I can only assume he meant you.
38:29.684 --> 38:34.105
You should bless me for destroying him
before he found out what you really are.
38:34.188 --> 38:35.481
And what am I?
38:35.564 --> 38:38.234
The faithfulness he talked of, madam.
Your enduring faithfulness.
38:38.317 --> 38:39.318
Now tell me truly.
38:39.402 --> 38:41.654
When you found out he was gone, did you
get engaged to your prince that same hour,
38:41.737 --> 38:43.864
or did you wait a whole week
out of respect for the dead?
38:43.948 --> 38:46.617
You mocked me once!
Never do it again!
38:46.701 --> 38:48.119
I died that day!
38:48.202 --> 38:50.287
[hoofbeats]
38:52.248 --> 38:54.208
And you can die too, for all I care!
38:56.085 --> 39:00.089
[shouting] As you wish!
39:00.172 --> 39:03.592
Oh, my sweet Westley.
What have I done?
39:04.301 --> 39:06.637
[groaning]
39:15.062 --> 39:17.690
[groans]
39:17.773 --> 39:19.775
Ow! Ow! Ooh!
39:20.818 --> 39:22.028
[groans]
39:23.029 --> 39:25.239
They disappeared.
39:25.322 --> 39:29.118
He must've seen us closing in,
which might account for his panicking into error.
39:29.869 --> 39:32.246
Unless I am wrong,
and I am never wrong,
39:33.247 --> 39:35.750
they are headed
dead into the Fire Swamp.
39:47.428 --> 39:50.014
- Can you move at all?
- Move?
39:50.097 --> 39:53.768
You're alive.
If you want, I can fly.
39:58.856 --> 40:03.569
I told you I would always come for you.
Why didn't you wait for me?
40:04.278 --> 40:07.031
Well, you were dead.
40:07.114 --> 40:09.241
Death cannot stop true love.
40:11.077 --> 40:13.370
All it can do is delay it for a while.
40:14.914 --> 40:16.999
I will never doubt again.
40:17.917 --> 40:20.377
There will never be a need.
40:23.339 --> 40:25.800
[grandson]
Oh, no. No, please.
40:25.883 --> 40:27.968
What is it? What's the matter?
40:28.052 --> 40:30.096
They're kissing again.
40:30.179 --> 40:32.556
Do we have to hear the kissing part?
40:32.640 --> 40:35.017
Someday you may not mind so much.
40:35.101 --> 40:36.644
Skip on to the Fire Swamp.
40:36.727 --> 40:38.395
- That sounded good.
- Oh.
40:38.479 --> 40:39.730
[slurps]
40:39.814 --> 40:41.524
You're sick. I'll humor ya.
40:43.150 --> 40:48.030
So now, where were we here?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, okay.
40:48.114 --> 40:53.077
"Westley and Buttercup
raced along the ravine floor."
40:53.160 --> 40:54.787
- [horse whinnies]
- Ha!
40:54.870 --> 40:56.497
Your pig fiancé is too late.
40:58.457 --> 41:01.335
A few more steps
and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp.
41:02.336 --> 41:03.712
We'll never survive.
41:03.796 --> 41:07.007
Nonsense. You're only saying that
because no one ever has.
41:27.862 --> 41:29.572
[squealing]
41:30.531 --> 41:33.784
[growling]
41:33.868 --> 41:36.036
It's not that bad.
41:38.873 --> 41:42.710
I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here,
but the trees are actually quite lovely.
41:42.793 --> 41:45.296
- [groaning]
- [thudding]
42:03.147 --> 42:07.151
[popping sound]
42:09.904 --> 42:11.238
[gasps, whimpering]
42:21.165 --> 42:23.542
Well, now, that was an adventure.
42:23.626 --> 42:26.879
- Singed a bit, were you?
- You?
42:27.963 --> 42:30.174
[wailing, faint]
42:30.257 --> 42:32.176
[popping]
42:34.428 --> 42:36.472
Well, one thing I will say.
42:36.555 --> 42:39.183
Fire Swamp certainly does
keep you on your toes.
42:45.773 --> 42:48.359
This will all soon be but a happy memory
42:48.442 --> 42:51.195
because Roberts' ship, Revenge,
is anchored at the far end.
42:51.278 --> 42:53.489
And I, as you know, am Roberts.
42:53.572 --> 42:56.325
But how is that possible
since he's been marauding 20 years
42:56.408 --> 42:58.535
and you only left me five years ago?
42:58.619 --> 43:01.580
I, myself, am often surprised
at life's little quirks.
43:01.664 --> 43:03.624
[popping]
43:04.416 --> 43:07.169
See, what I told you before
about saying "please" was true.
43:08.796 --> 43:12.091
It intrigued Roberts,
as did my descriptions of your beauty.
43:13.175 --> 43:15.219
Finally Roberts decided something.
43:15.302 --> 43:17.471
He said, "All right, Westley.
43:17.554 --> 43:20.349
I've never had a valet.
You can try it for tonight.
43:20.432 --> 43:22.309
I'll most likely kill you in the morning."
43:22.935 --> 43:24.937
Three years he said that.
43:25.020 --> 43:26.855
"Good night, Westley. Good work.
43:26.939 --> 43:29.525
Sleep well. I'll most likely
kill you in the morning."
43:29.608 --> 43:32.236
It was a fine time for me.
I was learning to fence, to fight.
43:32.319 --> 43:34.196
Anything anyone would teach me.
43:34.280 --> 43:36.782
And Roberts and I
eventually became friends.
43:36.865 --> 43:38.909
- And then it happened.
- What?
43:40.077 --> 43:41.245
Go on.
43:41.328 --> 43:43.747
Well, Roberts had grown so rich
he wanted to retire,
43:43.831 --> 43:46.834
so he took me to his cabin
and told me his secret.
43:49.378 --> 43:51.588
"I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts,"
he said.
43:51.755 --> 43:53.090
"My name is Ryan.
43:53.173 --> 43:56.010
I inherited the ship
from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts,
43:56.093 --> 43:58.012
just as you will inherit it from me.
43:58.095 --> 44:00.931
The man I inherited it from was not
the real Dread Pirate Roberts either.
44:01.015 --> 44:03.142
His name was Cumberbund.
44:03.225 --> 44:06.562
The real Roberts has been retired 15 years
and living like a king in Patagonia."
44:06.645 --> 44:07.646
Thank you.
44:07.730 --> 44:09.315
Then he explained the name
44:09.398 --> 44:12.401
was the important thing
for inspiring the necessary fear.
44:12.484 --> 44:16.238
You see, no one would surrender
to the Dread Pirate Westley.
44:17.406 --> 44:19.950
So we sailed ashore,
took on an entirely new crew,
44:20.034 --> 44:24.538
and he stayed aboard for a while as first mate,
all the time calling me Roberts.
44:24.621 --> 44:27.958
Once the crew believed, he left the ship
and I have been Roberts ever since.
44:28.959 --> 44:32.838
Except now that we're together, I shall retire
and hand the name over to someone else.
44:32.921 --> 44:34.798
Is everything clear to you?
44:39.470 --> 44:40.596
[gasps]
45:05.954 --> 45:08.707
[sniffing]
45:20.302 --> 45:22.221
[both gasping]
45:26.141 --> 45:27.726
[Buttercup coughs]
45:34.858 --> 45:36.860
[coughs]
45:41.031 --> 45:43.700
[coughing, gasping continue]
45:58.465 --> 46:00.884
[growling]
46:04.763 --> 46:07.141
[growling]
46:08.267 --> 46:10.269
We'll never succeed.
46:10.352 --> 46:12.563
We may as well die here.
46:14.356 --> 46:18.444
No. No. We have already succeeded.
46:19.945 --> 46:23.991
I mean, what are the three terrors
of the Fire Swamp?
46:24.074 --> 46:26.827
One, the flame spurt. No problem.
46:27.411 --> 46:30.289
There's a popping sound preceding each.
We can avoid that.
46:30.372 --> 46:34.418
Two, the lightning sand. But you were
clever enough to discover what that looks like.
46:34.501 --> 46:36.420
So in the future we can avoid that too.
46:36.503 --> 46:38.964
Westley, what about the ROUS's?
46:39.047 --> 46:42.301
Rodents of Unusual Size?
I don't think they exist.
46:42.384 --> 46:44.803
[growling, snarling]
46:50.851 --> 46:53.020
[screaming]
47:19.046 --> 47:20.088
Westley!
47:43.237 --> 47:45.447
[groans]
47:45.531 --> 47:47.658
[yells]
47:47.741 --> 47:50.369
[popping]
47:51.787 --> 47:54.957
[shrieking, groaning]
48:00.170 --> 48:02.923
[snarling]
48:06.593 --> 48:08.595
[groaning]
48:34.329 --> 48:35.747
[Buttercup] We did it.
48:37.833 --> 48:39.501
Now, was that so terrible?
48:42.838 --> 48:45.799
[horse whinnying]
48:50.596 --> 48:52.180
Surrender!
48:52.264 --> 48:55.309
You mean you wish to surrender to me?
Very well. I accept.
48:55.392 --> 48:59.813
I give you full marks for bravery.
Don't make yourself a fool.
48:59.896 --> 49:03.275
Ah, but how will you capture us?
We know the secrets of the Fire Swamp.
49:03.358 --> 49:06.987
We can live there quite happily for some time,
so whenever you feel like dying, feel free to visit.
49:07.696 --> 49:10.407
[Humperdinck]
I tell you once again. Surrender!
49:10.490 --> 49:11.825
[Westley] It will not happen.
49:11.908 --> 49:14.036
For the last time! Surrender!
49:14.119 --> 49:15.412
Death first!
49:15.495 --> 49:17.456
Will you promise not to hurt him?
49:17.539 --> 49:18.498
What was that?
49:18.582 --> 49:20.000
What was that?
49:20.751 --> 49:24.254
If we surrender and I return with you,
49:24.338 --> 49:26.632
will you promise not to hurt this man?
49:26.715 --> 49:30.260
May I live a thousand years
and never hunt again.
49:30.344 --> 49:33.430
He is a sailor on the pirate ship Revenge.
49:33.513 --> 49:35.682
Promise to return him to his ship.
49:36.266 --> 49:38.268
I swear it will be done.
49:40.479 --> 49:44.775
Once we are out of sight, take him back to Florin
and throw him in the Pit of Despair.
49:44.858 --> 49:47.486
I swear it will be done.
49:48.570 --> 49:51.740
I thought you were dead once,
and it almost destroyed me.
49:52.532 --> 49:54.993
I could not bear it if you died again,
49:55.702 --> 49:57.871
not when I could save you.
50:09.966 --> 50:11.259
Come, sir.
50:11.343 --> 50:13.595
We must get you to your ship.
50:20.310 --> 50:22.562
We are men of action.
50:22.646 --> 50:24.606
Lies do not become us.
50:25.565 --> 50:27.067
Well spoken, sir.
50:35.325 --> 50:38.829
- What is it?
- You have six fingers on your right hand.
50:39.454 --> 50:41.081
Someone was looking for you.
50:47.713 --> 50:49.548
[door creaks, closes]
51:26.668 --> 51:30.172
- Where am I?
- [scratchy voice] The Pit of Despair.
51:30.255 --> 51:34.885
Don't even think ‒
[clears throat, hawks, grunts]
51:35.635 --> 51:38.096
[normal voice]
Don't even think about trying to escape.
51:38.180 --> 51:39.973
The chains are far too thick.
51:40.056 --> 51:42.058
And don't dream of being rescued either.
51:42.142 --> 51:44.311
The only way in is secret.
51:44.394 --> 51:48.023
Only the prince, the count, and I
know how to get in and out.
51:48.106 --> 51:49.900
Then I'm here till I die?
51:49.983 --> 51:51.818
Till they kill you. Yeah.
51:57.491 --> 51:59.159
Then why bother curing me?
51:59.242 --> 52:03.872
Well, the prince and the count always insist
on everyone being healthy before they're broken.
52:03.955 --> 52:05.415
So it's to be torture?
52:07.459 --> 52:08.960
I can cope with torture.
52:11.797 --> 52:13.048
You don't believe me?
52:14.132 --> 52:16.885
You survived the Fire Swamp.
You must be very brave.
52:17.928 --> 52:20.931
But nobody withstands the Machine.
52:35.570 --> 52:37.823
She's been like that
ever since the Fire Swamp.
52:38.907 --> 52:41.785
It's my father's failing health
that's upsetting her.
52:42.786 --> 52:44.287
Of course.
52:46.706 --> 52:49.376
[grandfather] "The king died that very night.
52:49.459 --> 52:51.837
And before the following dawn,
52:51.920 --> 52:54.464
Buttercup and Humperdinck were married.
52:54.548 --> 52:58.718
And at noon, she met her subjects again,
this time as their queen."
52:58.802 --> 53:01.304
My father's final words were ‒
53:01.388 --> 53:03.306
[grandson] Hold it. Hold it. Grandpa.
53:03.390 --> 53:06.184
You read that wrong.
She doesn't marry Humperdinck.
53:06.268 --> 53:08.854
She marries Westley. I'm just sure of it.
53:08.937 --> 53:14.025
After all that Westley did for her,
if she didn't marry him, it wouldn't be fair.
53:14.109 --> 53:17.946
Well, who says life is fair?
Where is that written?
53:18.029 --> 53:19.447
Life isn't always fair.
53:19.531 --> 53:23.493
I'm telling you, you're messing up the story!
Now, get it right!
53:23.577 --> 53:25.787
Do you want me to go on with this?
53:26.496 --> 53:29.332
- Yes.
- All right, then. No more interruptions.
53:29.416 --> 53:34.087
"At noon, she met her subjects again,
this time as their queen."
53:34.170 --> 53:36.923
My father's final words were:
53:37.632 --> 53:42.971
"Love her as I loved her,
and there will be joy."
53:43.054 --> 53:46.016
I present to you your queen,
53:46.641 --> 53:49.644
Queen Buttercup.
53:50.437 --> 53:53.732
- [crowd murmuring]
- [horns playing fanfare]
54:00.697 --> 54:04.659
[woman] Boo! Boo!
54:04.743 --> 54:07.078
Boo!
54:07.162 --> 54:08.622
Why do you do this?
54:08.705 --> 54:12.542
Because you had love in your hands,
and you gave it up!
54:12.626 --> 54:15.045
But they would've killed Westley
if I hadn't done it.
54:15.128 --> 54:18.965
Your true love lives,
and you marry another!
54:19.049 --> 54:23.970
True love saved her in the Fire Swamp,
and she treated it like garbage.
54:24.054 --> 54:27.641
And that's what she is,
the Queen of Refuse!
54:27.724 --> 54:30.393
So bow down to her, if you want.
Bow to her.
54:30.477 --> 54:34.022
Bow to the Queen of Slime,
the Queen of Filth,
54:34.105 --> 54:36.399
the Queen of Putrescence!
54:36.483 --> 54:38.693
Boo! Boo!
54:38.777 --> 54:41.237
Rubbish! Filth! Slime!
54:41.321 --> 54:43.156
Muck! Boo!
54:43.239 --> 54:46.117
Boo! Boo!
54:46.201 --> 54:48.370
[gasping]
54:49.579 --> 54:51.414
[grandfather]
"It was ten days till the wedding.
54:51.498 --> 54:56.461
The king still lived, but Buttercup's nightmares
were growing steadily worse."
54:56.544 --> 54:59.839
[grandson] See? Didn't I tell you she'd
never marry that rotten Humperdinck?
54:59.923 --> 55:02.092
[grandfather]
Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.
55:03.093 --> 55:07.013
It comes to this:
I love Westley. I always have.
55:07.681 --> 55:09.474
I know now I always will.
55:09.557 --> 55:12.519
If you tell me I must marry you in ten days,
55:12.602 --> 55:15.188
please believe I will be dead by morning.
55:22.237 --> 55:24.656
I could never cause you grief.
55:25.365 --> 55:28.702
Consider our wedding off.
55:28.785 --> 55:33.331
You, um, returned this Westley to his ship?
55:33.415 --> 55:36.126
- Yes.
- Then we will simply alert him.
55:37.752 --> 55:39.045
Beloved...
55:40.088 --> 55:42.799
are you certain he still wants you?
55:43.925 --> 55:47.846
After all, it was you who did the leaving
in the Fire Swamp,
55:47.929 --> 55:52.308
not to mention that, um, pirates
are not known to be men of their words.
55:52.392 --> 55:54.853
My Westley will always come for me.
55:56.354 --> 55:57.939
Ah.
56:01.651 --> 56:03.319
I suggest a deal.
56:03.987 --> 56:06.489
You write four copies of a letter.
56:06.573 --> 56:09.951
I'll send my four fastest ships,
one in each direction.
56:10.035 --> 56:13.329
The Dread Pirate Roberts is always
close to Florin this time of year.
56:13.413 --> 56:16.291
We'll run up the white flag
and deliver your message.
56:16.875 --> 56:19.627
If Westley wants you, bless you both.
56:20.837 --> 56:22.338
If not...
56:25.216 --> 56:29.054
please consider me
as an alternative to suicide.
56:30.180 --> 56:31.931
Are we agreed?
56:35.685 --> 56:39.105
Your princess
is really quite a winning creature.
56:39.189 --> 56:41.691
A trifle simple, perhaps,
but her appeal is undeniable.
56:41.775 --> 56:43.610
I know.
The people are quite taken with her.
56:44.319 --> 56:45.737
It's odd,
56:45.820 --> 56:48.782
but when I hired Vizzini to have her murdered
on our engagement day,
56:48.865 --> 56:50.366
I thought that was clever.
56:50.450 --> 56:54.287
But it's going to be so much more moving
when I strangle her on our wedding night.
56:54.370 --> 56:57.874
Once Guilder is blamed,
the nation will be truly outraged.
56:57.957 --> 57:00.043
They'll demand we go to war.
57:00.126 --> 57:01.669
[chuckles]
57:03.171 --> 57:05.882
Now, where is that secret knot?
57:07.175 --> 57:08.593
It's impossible to find.
57:10.845 --> 57:14.224
Ah. Are you coming down into the pit?
57:14.307 --> 57:18.353
Westley's got his strength back.
I'm starting him on the Machine tonight.
57:18.895 --> 57:20.647
Tyrone,
57:20.730 --> 57:23.024
you know how much I love
watching you work.
57:23.108 --> 57:25.652
But I've got my country's
500th anniversary to plan,
57:25.735 --> 57:29.781
my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder,
and Guilder to frame for it.
57:29.864 --> 57:31.533
I'm swamped.
57:34.661 --> 57:36.287
Get some rest.
57:36.371 --> 57:39.290
If you haven't got your health,
you haven't got anything.
57:56.015 --> 57:57.308
Beautiful, isn't it?
57:58.643 --> 58:01.646
Took me half a lifetime to invent it.
58:02.522 --> 58:05.942
I'm sure you've discovered
my deep and abiding interest in pain.
58:06.025 --> 58:09.195
At present, I'm writing
the definitive work on the subject.
58:09.279 --> 58:13.575
So I want you to be totally honest with me
on how the Machine makes you feel.
58:14.409 --> 58:18.163
This being our first try,
I'll use the lowest setting.
58:35.263 --> 58:36.681
[groaning]
58:54.157 --> 58:58.328
As you know, the concept
of the suction pump is centuries old.
58:59.287 --> 59:03.166
Well, really, that's all this is,
except that instead of sucking water,
59:03.249 --> 59:04.751
I'm sucking life.
59:05.752 --> 59:08.796
I've just sucked one year of your life away.
59:09.422 --> 59:11.174
I might one day go as high as five,
59:11.257 --> 59:13.927
but I really don't know
what that would do to you.
59:14.010 --> 59:17.055
So let's just start with what we have.
59:17.597 --> 59:20.391
What did this do to you? Tell me.
59:20.475 --> 59:24.270
And remember,
this is for posterity, so be honest.
59:24.812 --> 59:25.855
How do you feel?
59:26.898 --> 59:30.235
[whimpering]
59:30.944 --> 59:32.445
Interesting.
59:40.328 --> 59:41.663
[clears throat]
59:42.664 --> 59:44.916
- Yellin.
- Sire.
59:54.717 --> 59:58.721
As chief enforcer of all Florin,
I trust you with this secret.
59:59.597 --> 1:00:02.600
Killers from Guilder
are infiltrating the Thieves' Forest
1:00:02.684 --> 1:00:06.562
and plan to murder my bride
on our wedding night.
1:00:06.646 --> 1:00:10.191
[scoffs]
My spy network has heard no such news.
1:00:10.275 --> 1:00:12.402
Any word from Westley?
1:00:13.653 --> 1:00:15.738
Too soon, my angel.
1:00:16.239 --> 1:00:18.533
- Patience.
- He will come for me.
1:00:18.616 --> 1:00:20.410
Of course.
1:00:24.831 --> 1:00:27.208
She will not be murdered.
1:00:27.292 --> 1:00:30.295
On the day of the wedding,
I want the Thieves' Forest emptied
1:00:30.378 --> 1:00:32.588
and every inhabitant arrested.
1:00:32.672 --> 1:00:34.757
[sighs] Many of the thieves will resist.
1:00:34.841 --> 1:00:37.093
My regular enforcers will be inadequate.
1:00:37.176 --> 1:00:39.262
Form a brute squad then!
1:00:39.345 --> 1:00:42.390
I want the Thieves' Forest emptied
before I wed.
1:00:42.473 --> 1:00:44.100
It won't be easy, sire.
1:00:44.183 --> 1:00:46.269
Try ruling the world sometime.
1:00:48.479 --> 1:00:51.274
[shouting]
1:00:51.357 --> 1:00:53.401
[grandfather]
"The day of the wedding arrived.
1:00:53.484 --> 1:00:56.738
The brute squad had their hands full
carrying out Humperdinck's orders."
1:00:56.821 --> 1:00:58.698
[whinnies]
1:00:58.781 --> 1:01:00.783
[shouting continues]
1:01:04.329 --> 1:01:05.705
- Is everybody out?
- Almost.
1:01:05.788 --> 1:01:07.790
There's a Spaniard giving us some trouble.
1:01:07.874 --> 1:01:10.168
Well, you give him some trouble.
1:01:11.294 --> 1:01:12.337
Move.
1:01:16.674 --> 1:01:19.302
I am waiting for you, Vizzini.
1:01:20.261 --> 1:01:24.474
You told me to go back to the beginning,
so I have.
1:01:25.141 --> 1:01:28.353
This is where I am,
and this is where I'll stay.
1:01:29.520 --> 1:01:31.606
I will not be moved.
1:01:31.689 --> 1:01:32.982
Ho there!
1:01:34.108 --> 1:01:36.402
I do not budge. Keep your "Ho there."
1:01:36.486 --> 1:01:37.987
But the prince gave orders.
1:01:40.323 --> 1:01:42.617
[grunts] So did Vizzini.
1:01:42.700 --> 1:01:45.119
When a job went wrong,
you went back to the beginning.
1:01:45.203 --> 1:01:48.873
Well, this is where we got the job,
so it's the beginning,
1:01:48.956 --> 1:01:50.958
and I am staying till Vizzini comes.
1:01:51.042 --> 1:01:52.710
You, brute, come here!
1:01:52.794 --> 1:01:57.924
I am waiting for Vizzini.
1:01:58.508 --> 1:02:00.510
You surely are a meanie.
1:02:08.518 --> 1:02:10.144
Hello.
1:02:10.228 --> 1:02:12.855
- It's you.
- True.
1:02:12.939 --> 1:02:14.440
[grunts]
1:02:15.274 --> 1:02:17.944
- You don't look so good.
- [blows raspberry]
1:02:18.027 --> 1:02:20.613
Phew. You don't smell so good either.
1:02:21.155 --> 1:02:25.243
- Perhaps not. I feel fine.
- Yeah?
1:02:28.454 --> 1:02:30.957
[grandfather]
"Fezzik and Inigo were reunited.
1:02:31.040 --> 1:02:34.752
And as Fezzik nursed
his inebriated friend back to health,
1:02:34.836 --> 1:02:38.214
he told Inigo of Vizzini's death
and the existence of Count Rugen,
1:02:38.297 --> 1:02:39.799
the six-fingered man.
1:02:40.341 --> 1:02:44.846
Considering Inigo's lifelong search,
he handled the news surprisingly well.
1:02:47.807 --> 1:02:50.435
Fezzik took great care in reviving Inigo."
1:02:50.977 --> 1:02:53.062
That's enough! That's enough!
1:02:53.771 --> 1:02:57.150
Where is this Rugen now so I may kill him?
1:02:57.233 --> 1:02:59.360
He's with the prince in the castle.
1:02:59.444 --> 1:03:02.447
But the castle gate is guarded by 30 men.
1:03:02.530 --> 1:03:04.031
[sighs]
1:03:07.410 --> 1:03:08.911
How many could you handle?
1:03:09.495 --> 1:03:10.997
I don't think more than ten.
1:03:16.294 --> 1:03:17.587
Leaving 20 for me.
1:03:19.046 --> 1:03:21.340
At my best, I could never defeat that many.
1:03:24.886 --> 1:03:28.097
I need Vizzini to plan.
I have no gift for strategy.
1:03:28.181 --> 1:03:29.849
But Vizzini's dead.
1:03:30.641 --> 1:03:33.478
No. Not Vizzini.
1:03:34.437 --> 1:03:36.355
I need the man in black.
1:03:36.439 --> 1:03:37.523
What?
1:03:38.065 --> 1:03:41.444
Look, he bested you with strength,
your greatness.
1:03:41.527 --> 1:03:45.448
He bested me with steel.
He must have outthought Vizzini.
1:03:45.531 --> 1:03:49.535
And a man who can do that
can plan my castle onslaught any day.
1:03:49.619 --> 1:03:51.329
- Let's go.
- Where?
1:03:51.412 --> 1:03:54.123
- Find the man in black, obviously.
- But you don't know where he is.
1:03:54.207 --> 1:03:55.917
Don't bother me with trifles.
1:03:56.000 --> 1:03:58.669
After 20 years, at last
my father's soul will be at peace.
1:03:58.753 --> 1:04:00.922
There will be blood tonight!
1:04:12.058 --> 1:04:13.726
Rise and report. [blows]
1:04:13.809 --> 1:04:17.480
The Thieves' Forest is emptied.
Thirty men guard the castle gate.
1:04:17.563 --> 1:04:20.733
Double it. My princess must be safe.
1:04:20.816 --> 1:04:22.902
The gate has but one key...
1:04:24.570 --> 1:04:26.239
and I carry that.
1:04:26.322 --> 1:04:28.783
[footsteps approaching]
1:04:28.866 --> 1:04:32.119
Ah, my dulcet darling.
1:04:34.080 --> 1:04:36.123
Tonight, we marry.
1:04:36.207 --> 1:04:39.585
Tomorrow morning,
your men will escort us to Florin Channel,
1:04:39.669 --> 1:04:44.924
where every ship in my armada waits
to accompany us on our honeymoon.
1:04:45.007 --> 1:04:47.510
Every ship but your four fastest, you mean.
1:04:50.638 --> 1:04:52.390
Every ship but the four you sent.
1:04:52.848 --> 1:04:54.767
Yes. Yes, of course.
1:04:54.850 --> 1:04:56.435
Naturally, not those four.
1:04:58.521 --> 1:05:00.106
[clears throat] Your Majesty.
1:05:04.277 --> 1:05:05.778
You never sent the ships.
1:05:06.571 --> 1:05:08.447
Don't bother lying.
1:05:09.115 --> 1:05:11.909
Doesn't matter.
Westley will come for me anyway.
1:05:11.993 --> 1:05:13.828
You're a silly girl.
1:05:13.911 --> 1:05:16.038
Yes, I am a silly girl
1:05:16.122 --> 1:05:18.666
for not having seen sooner
that you were nothing but a coward
1:05:18.749 --> 1:05:20.751
with a heart full of fear.
1:05:21.669 --> 1:05:25.590
I would not say such things if I were you.
1:05:26.173 --> 1:05:29.552
Why not? You can't hurt me.
1:05:29.635 --> 1:05:32.513
Westley and I are joined
by the bonds of love.
1:05:33.097 --> 1:05:37.143
And you cannot track that,
not with a thousand bloodhounds.
1:05:37.226 --> 1:05:41.188
And you cannot break it,
not with a thousand swords.
1:05:41.272 --> 1:05:43.482
And when I say you're a coward,
1:05:43.566 --> 1:05:47.445
that is only because you are the slimiest
weakling ever to crawl the earth!
1:05:47.528 --> 1:05:49.363
[slams dagger on table]
1:05:49.447 --> 1:05:53.117
I would not say such things if I were you!
1:06:07.923 --> 1:06:11.844
You truly love each other,
and so you might have been truly happy.
1:06:11.927 --> 1:06:14.305
Not one couple in a century
has that chance,
1:06:14.388 --> 1:06:16.349
no matter what the storybooks say.
1:06:16.432 --> 1:06:19.769
And so, I think no man in a century
1:06:19.852 --> 1:06:22.480
will suffer as greatly as you will.
1:06:25.650 --> 1:06:29.320
- Not to 50!
- [screaming]
1:06:34.700 --> 1:06:38.537
[screaming continues]
1:06:38.621 --> 1:06:40.831
[screaming continues]
1:06:43.042 --> 1:06:48.214
[screaming continues]
1:06:48.297 --> 1:06:51.550
Fezzik. Fezzik, listen.
1:06:51.634 --> 1:06:55.513
Do you hear?
That is the sound of ultimate suffering.
1:06:55.596 --> 1:06:59.016
My heart made that sound
when Rugen slaughtered my father.
1:06:59.100 --> 1:07:01.727
- The man in black makes it now.
- The man in black?
1:07:01.811 --> 1:07:03.813
His true love is marrying another tonight.
1:07:03.896 --> 1:07:06.399
So who else has the cause
for ultimate suffering?
1:07:06.482 --> 1:07:10.361
Excuse me. Pardon me.
It's important. Fezzik, please.
1:07:10.444 --> 1:07:12.488
Everybody, move!
1:07:13.239 --> 1:07:14.740
[Inigo] Thank you.
1:07:22.665 --> 1:07:25.000
[Inigo] Where is the man in black?
1:07:25.084 --> 1:07:27.294
You get there from this grove, yes?
1:07:28.629 --> 1:07:31.298
Fezzik, jog his memory.
1:07:37.096 --> 1:07:40.391
I'm sorry, Inigo.
I didn't mean to jog him so hard.
1:07:41.350 --> 1:07:42.852
Inigo?
1:07:43.561 --> 1:07:48.023
Father, I have failed you for 20 years.
1:07:48.983 --> 1:07:50.860
Now our misery can end.
1:07:51.944 --> 1:07:53.696
Somewhere ‒
1:07:53.779 --> 1:07:56.949
Somewhere close by
is a man who can help us.
1:07:58.534 --> 1:08:01.412
I cannot find him alone.
1:08:01.495 --> 1:08:03.205
I need you.
1:08:04.331 --> 1:08:07.334
I need you to guide my sword.
1:08:07.418 --> 1:08:08.919
Please.
1:08:11.005 --> 1:08:12.840
Guide my sword.
1:09:03.140 --> 1:09:04.558
He's dead.
1:09:05.309 --> 1:09:07.061
This is not fair.
1:09:07.144 --> 1:09:10.564
Grandpa, Grandpa, wait. Wait.
1:09:10.648 --> 1:09:12.775
What did Fezzik mean, "He's dead"?
1:09:12.858 --> 1:09:16.362
I mean, he didn't mean dead.
1:09:16.987 --> 1:09:19.949
Westley's only faking, right?
1:09:20.866 --> 1:09:22.660
You want me to read this or not?
1:09:23.494 --> 1:09:26.872
- Who gets Humperdinck?
- I don't understand.
1:09:26.956 --> 1:09:31.502
Who kills Prince Humperdinck?
At the end. Somebody's gotta do it.
1:09:31.585 --> 1:09:33.254
Is it Inigo? Who?
1:09:33.337 --> 1:09:36.131
Nobody. Nobody kills him.
1:09:36.215 --> 1:09:37.758
He lives.
1:09:37.842 --> 1:09:39.677
You mean he wins?
1:09:39.760 --> 1:09:42.638
Jesus, Grandpa!
What did you read me this thing for?
1:09:43.389 --> 1:09:47.351
You know, you've been very sick,
and you're taking this story very seriously.
1:09:47.434 --> 1:09:49.270
I think we ought to stop now.
1:09:50.479 --> 1:09:53.023
No, I-I'm okay. I'm okay.
1:09:53.107 --> 1:09:55.276
Sit down. I'm all right.
1:09:56.944 --> 1:09:58.320
Okay.
1:09:58.404 --> 1:10:00.656
All right, now, let's see. Where were we?
1:10:00.739 --> 1:10:02.992
Oh, yes.
1:10:03.701 --> 1:10:06.370
In the Pit of Despair.
1:10:08.539 --> 1:10:12.751
Well, the Montoyas
have never taken defeat easily.
1:10:12.835 --> 1:10:16.005
- Come along, Fezzik. Bring the body.
- The body?
1:10:16.672 --> 1:10:19.174
- Have you any money?
- I have a little.
1:10:19.884 --> 1:10:23.262
I just hope it's enough to buy a miracle,
that's all.
1:10:25.514 --> 1:10:29.101
- [knocking]
- [man] Go away!
1:10:32.521 --> 1:10:33.731
What? What?
1:10:33.814 --> 1:10:36.650
Are you the Miracle Max
who worked for the king all those years?
1:10:36.734 --> 1:10:38.819
The king's stinking son fired me.
1:10:38.903 --> 1:10:41.488
And thank you so much
for bringing up such a painful subject.
1:10:41.572 --> 1:10:44.783
While you're at it, why don't you give me
a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?
1:10:44.867 --> 1:10:46.035
We're closed!
1:10:49.955 --> 1:10:51.582
Beat it, or I'll call the brute squad.
1:10:51.665 --> 1:10:54.710
- I'm on the brute squad.
- You are the brute squad.
1:10:54.793 --> 1:10:57.046
We need a miracle. It's very important.
1:10:57.129 --> 1:10:58.756
Look, I'm retired.
1:10:58.839 --> 1:11:01.800
And besides, why would you want someone
the king's stinking son fired?
1:11:01.884 --> 1:11:03.969
I might kill whoever you wanted me
to miracle.
1:11:04.053 --> 1:11:05.429
He's already dead.
1:11:06.055 --> 1:11:08.682
He is, huh? I'll take a look. Bring him in.
1:11:23.447 --> 1:11:25.074
I've seen worse.
1:11:29.662 --> 1:11:31.705
- [Miracle Max muttering]
- Sir?
1:11:32.414 --> 1:11:33.666
- [muttering]
- Sir?
1:11:33.749 --> 1:11:36.418
- Huh?
- We're in a terrible rush.
1:11:36.502 --> 1:11:37.878
Don't rush me, sonny.
1:11:37.962 --> 1:11:40.381
You rush a miracle man,
you get rotten miracles.
1:11:40.464 --> 1:11:42.800
- You got money?
- Sixty-five.
1:11:42.883 --> 1:11:45.511
Sheesh! I never worked for so little.
1:11:45.594 --> 1:11:48.263
Except once,
and that was a very noble cause.
1:11:48.347 --> 1:11:50.516
This is noble, sir.
1:11:51.350 --> 1:11:53.560
His wife is crippled.
1:11:54.478 --> 1:11:57.272
His children are on the brink of starvation.
1:11:58.065 --> 1:11:59.608
Are you a rotten liar.
1:11:59.692 --> 1:12:03.570
I need him to help avenge my father,
murdered these 20 years.
1:12:03.654 --> 1:12:06.365
Your first story was better.
Where's that bellows cramp?
1:12:06.448 --> 1:12:09.702
He probably owes you money, huh?
Well, I'll ask him.
1:12:09.785 --> 1:12:11.370
He's dead. He can't talk.
1:12:11.453 --> 1:12:14.623
Ooh-hoo-hoo! Look who knows so much, huh?
1:12:14.707 --> 1:12:19.128
Well, it just so happens
that your friend here is only mostly dead.
1:12:19.211 --> 1:12:22.339
There's a big difference
between mostly dead and all dead.
1:12:22.423 --> 1:12:24.091
Please, open his mouth.
1:12:25.884 --> 1:12:29.513
Now, mostly dead is slightly alive.
1:12:29.596 --> 1:12:31.432
Now, all dead ‒
1:12:31.515 --> 1:12:34.768
Well, with all dead, there's usually
only one thing that you can do.
1:12:34.852 --> 1:12:35.728
What's that?
1:12:35.811 --> 1:12:38.313
Go through his clothes
and look for loose change.
1:12:38.397 --> 1:12:40.607
[grunts, sighs]
1:12:44.236 --> 1:12:45.612
Hey!
1:12:45.696 --> 1:12:47.489
Hello in there!
1:12:47.573 --> 1:12:50.117
Hey! What's so important?
1:12:50.200 --> 1:12:52.995
What you got here that's worth living for?
1:12:57.124 --> 1:13:00.669
[wheezing] True love.
1:13:00.753 --> 1:13:04.089
True love. You heard him. You could not ask
for a more noble cause than that.
1:13:04.173 --> 1:13:08.635
Eh, sonny, true love
is the greatest thing in the world,
1:13:08.719 --> 1:13:10.220
except for a nice MLT ‒
1:13:10.304 --> 1:13:13.432
mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich,
when the mutton is nice and lean
1:13:13.515 --> 1:13:15.392
and the tomato is ripe. [smacking lips]
1:13:15.476 --> 1:13:17.186
They're so perky. I love that.
1:13:17.269 --> 1:13:21.065
But that's not what he said.
He distinctly said, "To blave."
1:13:21.148 --> 1:13:24.068
And as we all know,
"to blave" means "to bluff." Huh?
1:13:24.151 --> 1:13:26.153
So you were probably playing cards,
and he cheated ‒
1:13:26.236 --> 1:13:29.364
Liar! Liar! Liar!
1:13:29.448 --> 1:13:31.992
- Get back, witch!
- I'm not a witch! I'm your wife!
1:13:32.076 --> 1:13:35.788
But after what you just said,
I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore.
1:13:35.871 --> 1:13:38.791
- You never had it so good.
- "True love." He said "true love," Max.
1:13:38.874 --> 1:13:41.335
- Don't say another word, Valerie.
- My God, he's afraid.
1:13:41.418 --> 1:13:44.546
Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him,
his confidence is shattered.
1:13:44.630 --> 1:13:47.674
Why'd you say that name? You promised me
that you would never say that name!
1:13:47.758 --> 1:13:49.259
- What, Humperdinck?
- Aaah!
1:13:49.343 --> 1:13:51.595
Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
1:13:51.678 --> 1:13:55.307
- Humperdinck! Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
- I'm not listening!
1:13:55.390 --> 1:13:59.686
True love lies expiring, and you don't have
the decency to say why you won't help.
1:13:59.770 --> 1:14:02.356
- Nobody's hearing nothing.
- Humperdinck! Humperdinck!
1:14:02.439 --> 1:14:03.941
[Inigo] This is Buttercup's true love.
1:14:04.024 --> 1:14:06.735
If you heal him,
he will stop Humperdinck's wedding.
1:14:06.819 --> 1:14:09.071
- Humperdinck!
- Shut up! Wait, wait.
1:14:09.154 --> 1:14:10.823
I make him better, Humperdinck suffers?
1:14:10.906 --> 1:14:13.617
Humiliations galore.
1:14:13.700 --> 1:14:17.579
[laughs, singing]
1:14:17.663 --> 1:14:20.624
That is a noble cause.
Give me the 65. I'm on the job.
1:14:20.707 --> 1:14:21.625
Whoo-hoo!
1:14:25.379 --> 1:14:27.131
That's a miracle pill?
1:14:27.714 --> 1:14:30.008
The chocolate coating
makes it go down easier.
1:14:30.092 --> 1:14:33.262
But you have to wait 15 minutes
for full potency.
1:14:33.345 --> 1:14:36.140
And you shouldn't go in swimming after
for at least, what?
1:14:36.223 --> 1:14:38.767
- An hour. A good hour. Yeah.
- Yeah, an hour.
1:14:38.851 --> 1:14:40.811
- Thank you for everything.
- Okay.
1:14:41.687 --> 1:14:44.690
- Bye-bye, boys.
- Have fun storming the castle.
1:14:44.773 --> 1:14:47.192
- Think it'll work?
- It would take a miracle.
1:14:47.276 --> 1:14:48.777
- Bye-bye!
- Bye!
1:14:48.902 --> 1:14:51.029
[sheep bleating]
1:14:55.075 --> 1:14:57.161
[grunts]
1:15:01.748 --> 1:15:04.168
Inigo, there's more than 30.
1:15:04.251 --> 1:15:06.086
What's the difference?
1:15:06.795 --> 1:15:08.297
We've got him.
1:15:08.797 --> 1:15:10.090
Help me here.
1:15:11.091 --> 1:15:13.594
- We'll have to force-feed him.
- Has it been 15 minutes?
1:15:13.677 --> 1:15:16.180
We can't wait.
The wedding's in half an hour.
1:15:16.263 --> 1:15:18.473
We must strike in the hustle
and the bustle beforehand.
1:15:18.557 --> 1:15:20.058
Tilt his head back.
1:15:21.310 --> 1:15:22.811
Open his mouth.
1:15:24.146 --> 1:15:25.439
[kisses]
1:15:27.232 --> 1:15:30.360
How long do we have to wait
before we know if the miracle works?
1:15:30.444 --> 1:15:32.196
Your guess is as good as mine.
1:15:32.279 --> 1:15:34.531
I'll beat you two apart.
I'll take you both together!
1:15:34.615 --> 1:15:36.491
I guess not very long.
1:15:38.285 --> 1:15:41.455
- Why won't my arms move?
- You've been mostly dead all day.
1:15:41.955 --> 1:15:45.292
We had Miracle Max make a pill
to bring you back.
1:15:45.918 --> 1:15:48.420
Who are you? Are we enemies?
1:15:48.503 --> 1:15:51.423
Why am I on this wall? Where's Buttercup?
1:15:51.506 --> 1:15:53.008
Let me explain.
1:15:53.091 --> 1:15:55.219
No, there is too much. Let me sum up.
1:15:55.302 --> 1:15:58.096
Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck
in a little less than half an hour,
1:15:58.180 --> 1:16:00.265
so all we have to do is get in,
break up the wedding,
1:16:00.349 --> 1:16:02.059
steal the princess, make our escape,
1:16:02.142 --> 1:16:03.936
after I kill Count Rugen.
1:16:04.019 --> 1:16:06.355
That doesn't leave much time
for dillydallying.
1:16:06.438 --> 1:16:09.775
You just wiggled your finger.
That's wonderful.
1:16:09.858 --> 1:16:12.694
I've always been a quick healer.
What are our liabilities?
1:16:12.778 --> 1:16:16.365
There is but one working castle gate.
Come here.
1:16:19.493 --> 1:16:22.287
And it is guarded by... 60 men.
1:16:22.371 --> 1:16:26.583
- And our assets?
- Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.
1:16:26.667 --> 1:16:29.753
That's it? Impossible.
1:16:29.836 --> 1:16:33.257
If I had a month to plan, maybe I could
come up with something, but this ‒
1:16:33.340 --> 1:16:36.885
You just shook your head.
That doesn't make you happy?
1:16:40.013 --> 1:16:44.476
My brains, his steel, and your strength
against 60 men,
1:16:44.559 --> 1:16:47.813
and you think a little head jiggle
is supposed to make me happy, hmm?
1:16:49.064 --> 1:16:51.984
If we only had a wheelbarrow,
that would be something.
1:16:52.901 --> 1:16:55.153
Where did we put that wheelbarrow
the Albino had?
1:16:55.237 --> 1:16:56.863
Over the Albino, I think.
1:16:57.572 --> 1:17:01.034
Why didn't you list that among our assets
in the first place?
1:17:01.118 --> 1:17:04.830
[sighs] What I wouldn't give
for a holocaust cloak.
1:17:04.913 --> 1:17:06.456
There we cannot help you.
1:17:07.666 --> 1:17:09.084
Will this do?
1:17:09.167 --> 1:17:11.628
- Where did you get that?
- At Miracle Max's.
1:17:11.712 --> 1:17:13.880
It fit so nice, he said I could keep it.
1:17:13.964 --> 1:17:16.174
All right, all right. Come on. Help me up.
1:17:18.719 --> 1:17:22.264
- Now, I'll need a sword eventually.
- Why? You can't even lift one.
1:17:22.347 --> 1:17:24.558
True, but that's hardly common knowledge,
is it?
1:17:25.225 --> 1:17:28.854
Thank you. Now, there may be problems
once we're inside.
1:17:29.479 --> 1:17:31.565
I'll say. How do I find the count?
1:17:31.648 --> 1:17:34.568
Once I do, how do I find you again?
Once I find you again, how do we escape?
1:17:35.110 --> 1:17:38.280
- Don't pester him. He's had a hard day.
- Right.
1:17:38.363 --> 1:17:40.324
Right. Sorry.
1:17:44.453 --> 1:17:46.246
- [Fezzik] Inigo.
- What?
1:17:46.330 --> 1:17:48.123
I hope we win.
1:17:48.915 --> 1:17:51.543
[Humperdinck]
You don't seem excited, my little muffin.
1:17:52.210 --> 1:17:55.339
- Should I be?
- Brides often are, I'm told.
1:17:56.298 --> 1:17:58.300
I do not marry tonight.
1:17:59.301 --> 1:18:01.303
My Westley will save me.
1:18:08.226 --> 1:18:10.312
- [organ playing]
- [people chattering]
1:18:28.580 --> 1:18:30.791
[organ continues playing]
1:18:47.224 --> 1:18:48.892
[organ stops]
1:18:53.647 --> 1:18:55.148
Mawidge.
1:18:55.774 --> 1:19:01.071
Mawidge is what bwings us togewer today.
1:19:01.696 --> 1:19:05.951
Mawidge, that bwessed awwangement,
1:19:06.034 --> 1:19:10.497
that dweam wiffin a dweam.
1:19:10.580 --> 1:19:14.334
[Yellin] Stand your ground, men!
Stand your ground!
1:19:14.418 --> 1:19:16.044
[guests murmuring]
1:19:19.047 --> 1:19:20.715
Stand your ground!
1:19:21.174 --> 1:19:24.678
[Fezzik] I am the Dread Pirate Roberts!
1:19:26.096 --> 1:19:29.433
There will be no survivors!
1:19:30.016 --> 1:19:31.768
- Now?
- Not yet.
1:19:31.852 --> 1:19:36.314
My men are here, I am here,
1:19:36.398 --> 1:19:40.235
but soon you will not be here.
1:19:40.777 --> 1:19:42.279
- [straining] Now?
- Light him.
1:19:45.198 --> 1:19:50.745
The Dread Pirate Roberts
takes no survivors.
1:19:50.829 --> 1:19:56.209
All your worst nightmares
are about to come true!
1:19:56.293 --> 1:19:58.253
...ven wuv,
1:19:58.336 --> 1:20:00.755
twue wuv,
1:20:00.839 --> 1:20:03.008
wiw fowwow you...
1:20:03.800 --> 1:20:05.594
fowever.
1:20:05.677 --> 1:20:08.346
The Dread Pirate Roberts
1:20:08.430 --> 1:20:12.350
is here for your souls!
1:20:12.434 --> 1:20:14.060
[panicked shouting]
1:20:14.144 --> 1:20:15.604
[Yellin] Stay where you are!
1:20:15.687 --> 1:20:17.606
Stand and fight!
1:20:17.689 --> 1:20:19.691
Stay where you are!
1:20:24.154 --> 1:20:26.656
So tweasuwe your wuv ‒
1:20:26.740 --> 1:20:28.450
Skip to the end.
1:20:28.533 --> 1:20:30.619
Have you the "wing"?
1:20:30.702 --> 1:20:34.122
- [rumbling]
- Here comes my Westley now.
1:20:34.206 --> 1:20:36.041
Fezzik, the portcullis!
1:20:37.250 --> 1:20:39.669
[grunting]
1:20:42.047 --> 1:20:44.424
Your Westley is dead.
1:20:44.508 --> 1:20:48.512
- I killed him myself.
- Then why is there fear behind your eyes?
1:20:52.641 --> 1:20:54.351
Give us the gate key.
1:20:54.434 --> 1:20:56.436
I have no gate key.
1:20:56.520 --> 1:20:59.105
Fezzik, tear his arms off.
1:20:59.189 --> 1:21:01.024
Oh, you mean this gate key.
1:21:02.192 --> 1:21:05.111
And do you, Pwincess Buwwercwup ‒
1:21:05.195 --> 1:21:08.114
Man and wife! Say, "Man and wife!"
1:21:08.198 --> 1:21:10.116
Man and wife.
1:21:11.243 --> 1:21:14.246
Escort the bride to the honeymoon suite.
I'll be there shortly.
1:21:16.498 --> 1:21:18.333
He didn't come.
1:21:52.784 --> 1:21:56.788
Kill the dark one and the giant,
but leave the third for questioning.
1:22:03.003 --> 1:22:04.838
[groans]
1:22:08.216 --> 1:22:10.093
Hello.
1:22:10.176 --> 1:22:12.387
My name is Inigo Montoya.
1:22:13.346 --> 1:22:14.973
You killed my father.
1:22:15.724 --> 1:22:17.434
Prepare to die.
1:22:41.249 --> 1:22:44.210
Fezzik! I need you!
1:22:44.294 --> 1:22:45.795
I can't leave him alone.
1:22:45.879 --> 1:22:49.341
He's getting away from me, Fezzik! Please!
1:22:49.883 --> 1:22:52.302
[shouts] Fezzik!
1:22:55.096 --> 1:22:56.598
I'll be right back.
1:23:04.564 --> 1:23:06.650
Thank you.
1:23:07.359 --> 1:23:09.736
- Strange wedding.
- Yes.
1:23:09.819 --> 1:23:11.821
A very strange wedding.
1:23:12.739 --> 1:23:14.240
Come along.
1:23:19.871 --> 1:23:21.498
What was that for?
1:23:21.581 --> 1:23:23.917
Because you've always been so kind to me.
1:23:24.000 --> 1:23:25.960
And I won't be seeing you again,
1:23:26.044 --> 1:23:29.005
since I'm killing myself
once we reach the honeymoon suite.
1:23:29.631 --> 1:23:34.010
Won't that be nice, hmm?
She kissed me! [laughs]
1:24:14.676 --> 1:24:16.177
[groans]
1:24:20.640 --> 1:24:22.142
Sorry, Father.
1:24:23.226 --> 1:24:24.728
I tried.
1:24:25.645 --> 1:24:27.605
I tried.
1:24:28.481 --> 1:24:32.986
You must be that little Spanish brat
I taught a lesson to all those years ago.
1:24:34.028 --> 1:24:36.030
It's simply incredible.
1:24:36.489 --> 1:24:39.993
Have you been chasing me
your whole life only to fail now?
1:24:40.577 --> 1:24:43.288
I think that's the worst thing
I've ever heard.
1:24:44.873 --> 1:24:46.541
How marvelous.
1:25:23.787 --> 1:25:26.664
There's a shortage
of perfect breasts in this world.
1:25:26.748 --> 1:25:28.583
'Twould be a pity to damage yours.
1:25:29.334 --> 1:25:31.753
Westley! Oh, Westley, darling!
1:25:35.006 --> 1:25:37.759
Westley, why won't you hold me?
1:25:38.426 --> 1:25:40.428
- Gently.
- At a time like this?
1:25:40.512 --> 1:25:43.598
That's all you can think to say? "Gently"?
1:25:43.681 --> 1:25:45.475
Gently!
1:25:45.558 --> 1:25:47.060
[groans]
1:25:51.231 --> 1:25:52.732
[dagger clatters on floor]
1:25:58.738 --> 1:26:02.367
Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?
1:26:05.537 --> 1:26:07.914
You've got an overdeveloped
sense of vengeance.
1:26:08.915 --> 1:26:11.835
It's going to get you into trouble someday.
1:26:25.431 --> 1:26:29.269
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.
1:26:29.352 --> 1:26:31.187
You killed my father.
1:26:32.105 --> 1:26:33.940
Prepare to die.
1:26:39.988 --> 1:26:41.531
Hello.
1:26:41.614 --> 1:26:44.075
My name is Inigo Montoya.
1:26:44.158 --> 1:26:46.244
You killed my father.
1:26:46.327 --> 1:26:48.121
Prepare to die.
1:26:52.041 --> 1:26:54.919
Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya.
1:26:55.003 --> 1:26:57.505
You killed my father. Prepare to die.
1:26:57.589 --> 1:26:59.632
Stop saying that!
1:27:00.675 --> 1:27:01.759
[groans]
1:27:02.677 --> 1:27:03.511
Aaah!
1:27:03.595 --> 1:27:06.306
Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya!
1:27:06.389 --> 1:27:09.017
You killed my father! Prepare to die!
1:27:09.100 --> 1:27:10.602
- No!
- Offer me money.
1:27:10.685 --> 1:27:13.479
- Yes.
- Power too. Promise me that.
1:27:14.063 --> 1:27:16.524
All that I have and more. Please.
1:27:16.608 --> 1:27:19.402
Offer me everything I ask for.
1:27:19.485 --> 1:27:21.487
Anything you want.
1:27:23.740 --> 1:27:26.534
I want my father back, you son of a bitch.
1:27:41.549 --> 1:27:44.052
Oh, Westley, will you ever forgive me?
1:27:44.135 --> 1:27:46.304
What hideous sin have you committed lately?
1:27:46.387 --> 1:27:50.099
I got married. I didn't want to.
It all happened so fast.
1:27:50.183 --> 1:27:51.893
- It never happened.
- What?
1:27:51.976 --> 1:27:54.187
- It never happened.
- But it did. I was there.
1:27:54.270 --> 1:27:56.981
- This old man said, "Man and wife."
- Did you say, "I do"?
1:27:58.775 --> 1:28:01.569
Uh, no. We sort of skipped that part.
1:28:01.653 --> 1:28:02.987
Then you're not married.
1:28:03.696 --> 1:28:05.907
If you didn't say it, you didn't do it.
1:28:07.283 --> 1:28:09.786
Wouldn't you agree, Your Highness?
1:28:10.370 --> 1:28:13.373
A technicality
that will shortly be remedied.
1:28:14.916 --> 1:28:16.751
But first things first.
1:28:19.504 --> 1:28:21.547
- To the death.
- [Westley] No!
1:28:21.631 --> 1:28:23.132
To the pain.
1:28:25.176 --> 1:28:27.303
I don't think I'm quite familiar
with that phrase.
1:28:27.387 --> 1:28:28.388
I'll explain.
1:28:28.471 --> 1:28:31.516
And I'll use small words,
so that you'll be sure to understand,
1:28:31.599 --> 1:28:34.394
you warthog-faced buffoon.
1:28:35.853 --> 1:28:40.942
That may be the first time in my life
a man has dared insult me.
1:28:41.025 --> 1:28:43.361
It won't be the last.
1:28:43.444 --> 1:28:47.198
"To the pain" means the first thing you lose
will be your feet, below the ankles.
1:28:47.281 --> 1:28:49.617
Then your hands at the wrists.
1:28:49.701 --> 1:28:51.202
Next, your nose.
1:28:51.285 --> 1:28:53.037
And then my tongue, I suppose.
1:28:53.121 --> 1:28:58.209
I killed you too quickly the last time,
a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
1:28:58.292 --> 1:28:59.669
I wasn't finished!
1:28:59.752 --> 1:29:02.630
The next thing you lose will be your left eye,
followed by your right.
1:29:02.714 --> 1:29:05.967
And then my ears.
I understand. Let's get on with it.
1:29:06.050 --> 1:29:09.429
Wrong! Your ears you keep,
and I'll tell you why.
1:29:11.389 --> 1:29:14.600
So that every shriek of every child
at seeing your hideousness
1:29:14.684 --> 1:29:17.311
will be yours to cherish.
1:29:17.395 --> 1:29:19.480
Every babe that weeps at your approach,
1:29:19.564 --> 1:29:22.608
every woman who cries out,
"Dear God, what is that thing?"
1:29:22.692 --> 1:29:25.486
will echo in your perfect ears.
1:29:26.320 --> 1:29:28.406
That is what "to the pain" means.
1:29:28.489 --> 1:29:30.992
It means I leave you in anguish,
1:29:31.075 --> 1:29:34.078
wallowing in freakish misery forever.
1:29:36.789 --> 1:29:38.332
I think you're bluffing.
1:29:38.416 --> 1:29:40.460
It's possible, pig.
1:29:40.543 --> 1:29:42.545
I might be bluffing.
1:29:42.628 --> 1:29:45.506
It's conceivable,
you miserable, vomitous mass,
1:29:45.590 --> 1:29:49.135
that I'm only lying here
because I lack the strength to stand.
1:29:49.886 --> 1:29:51.387
Then again...
1:29:52.889 --> 1:29:54.974
perhaps I have the strength after all.
1:30:11.324 --> 1:30:14.660
Drop... your... sword.
1:30:17.205 --> 1:30:18.581
[sword clatters]
1:30:19.415 --> 1:30:20.416
Have a seat.
1:30:24.921 --> 1:30:26.422
Tie him up.
1:30:27.465 --> 1:30:29.842
Make it as tight as you like.
1:30:29.926 --> 1:30:32.011
[Humperdinck] Oh!
1:30:33.179 --> 1:30:35.723
[panting] Where's Fezzik?
1:30:35.807 --> 1:30:38.309
- I thought he was with you.
- No.
1:30:38.392 --> 1:30:40.103
In that case ‒ [groans]
1:30:40.186 --> 1:30:41.270
Help him.
1:30:41.354 --> 1:30:44.982
- Why does Westley need helping?
- Because he has no strength.
1:30:45.066 --> 1:30:47.693
I knew it. I knew you were bluffing.
I knew he was bluffing.
1:30:47.777 --> 1:30:50.446
- Shall I dispatch him for you?
- [Westley] Thank you, but no.
1:30:50.530 --> 1:30:53.950
Whatever happens to us, I want him
to live a long life alone with his cowardice.
1:30:54.867 --> 1:30:59.038
[Fezzik] Inigo! Inigo, where are you?
1:31:00.498 --> 1:31:02.625
Oh, there you are.
1:31:02.708 --> 1:31:05.378
Inigo, I saw the prince's stables,
1:31:05.461 --> 1:31:08.381
and there they were ‒ four white horses.
1:31:08.464 --> 1:31:13.177
And I thought, there are four of us,
if we ever find the lady.
1:31:13.261 --> 1:31:15.638
Hello, lady.
1:31:16.180 --> 1:31:19.058
So I took them with me,
in case we ever bumped into each other.
1:31:20.017 --> 1:31:21.561
I guess we just did.
1:31:21.644 --> 1:31:24.772
Fezzik, you did something right.
1:31:24.856 --> 1:31:27.900
Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head.
1:31:47.295 --> 1:31:50.381
You know, it's very strange.
1:31:51.465 --> 1:31:53.718
I have been in the revenge business so long,
1:31:54.427 --> 1:31:56.345
now that it's over,
1:31:56.429 --> 1:31:58.764
I don't know what to do
with the rest of my life.
1:32:00.349 --> 1:32:02.059
Have you ever considered piracy?
1:32:02.602 --> 1:32:04.353
You'd make a wonderful
Dread Pirate Roberts.
1:32:17.074 --> 1:32:18.993
[grandfather] "They rode to freedom.
1:32:19.076 --> 1:32:22.872
And as dawn arose,
Westley and Buttercup knew they were safe.
1:32:23.456 --> 1:32:26.000
A wave of love swept over them.
1:32:26.083 --> 1:32:28.377
And as they reached for each other‒"
1:32:31.130 --> 1:32:32.423
What? What?
1:32:32.506 --> 1:32:34.967
No, it's kissing again.
You don't want to hear that.
1:32:35.718 --> 1:32:38.554
Well, I don't mind so much.
1:32:40.348 --> 1:32:41.849
Okay.
1:32:43.309 --> 1:32:47.104
"Since the invention of the kiss,
there have been five kisses
1:32:47.188 --> 1:32:50.191
that were rated
the most passionate, the most pure.
1:32:50.858 --> 1:32:53.277
This one left them all behind.
1:32:57.740 --> 1:32:59.242
The end."
1:33:02.286 --> 1:33:04.747
Now I think you ought to go to sleep.
1:33:05.498 --> 1:33:06.415
Okay.
1:33:06.499 --> 1:33:07.708
Okay.
1:33:09.293 --> 1:33:10.294
Okay.
1:33:11.545 --> 1:33:13.422
Okay.
1:33:15.549 --> 1:33:16.968
Okay.
1:33:18.010 --> 1:33:20.096
All right. [sighs]
1:33:22.306 --> 1:33:23.683
So long.
1:33:25.309 --> 1:33:26.894
Grandpa?
1:33:30.314 --> 1:33:34.318
Maybe you could come over
and read it again to me tomorrow.
1:33:36.237 --> 1:33:38.322
As you wish.
1:35:40.027 --> 1:35:44.031
[man] ♪ Come, my love, I'll tell you a tale ♪
1:35:45.032 --> 1:35:49.412
♪ Of a boy and girl and their love story ♪
1:35:50.454 --> 1:35:54.959
♪ And how he loved her, oh, so much ♪
1:35:55.793 --> 1:35:59.755
♪ And all the charms she did possess ♪
1:36:01.048 --> 1:36:05.094
♪ Now, this did happen once upon a time ♪
1:36:06.345 --> 1:36:10.391
♪ When things were not so complex ♪
1:36:11.642 --> 1:36:15.980
♪ And how he worshipped
The ground she walked ♪
1:36:16.063 --> 1:36:20.943
♪ And when he looked in her eyes
He became obsessed ♪
1:36:22.319 --> 1:36:27.575
♪ My love is like a storybook story ♪
1:36:27.658 --> 1:36:32.079
♪ But it's as real as the feelings I feel ♪
1:36:33.080 --> 1:36:37.418
♪ My love is like a storybook story ♪
1:36:38.461 --> 1:36:42.756
♪ But it's as real as the feelings I feel ♪
1:36:43.924 --> 1:36:48.220
♪ It's as real as the feelings I feel ♪
1:36:58.731 --> 1:37:04.820
♪ He said, "Don't you know
I love you, oh, so much? ♪
1:37:04.904 --> 1:37:09.116
♪ I lay my heart at the foot of your dress" ♪
1:37:09.200 --> 1:37:14.663
♪ She said, "Don't you know
That storybook loves ♪
1:37:15.998 --> 1:37:19.919
♪ Always have a happy ending?" ♪
1:37:21.295 --> 1:37:25.299
♪ Then he swooped her up
Just like in the books ♪
1:37:26.342 --> 1:37:30.554
♪ And on his stallion they rode away ♪
1:37:31.639 --> 1:37:36.894
♪ My love is like a storybook story ♪
1:37:36.977 --> 1:37:41.398
♪ But it's as real as the feelings I feel ♪
1:37:42.274 --> 1:37:47.488
♪ My love is like a storybook story ♪
1:37:47.571 --> 1:37:52.034
♪ But it's as real as the feelings I feel ♪
1:37:53.202 --> 1:37:57.623
♪ It's as real as the feelings I feel ♪